Author: EF Hutton

  • Sleeper Notifications

    Sleeper notified seven of F3RVA’s armchair quarterbacks to rise from the fartsack to pay penance to the Fantasy Gods in remembrance of F3RVA’s Fantasy Football season 2.  Seven more joined in on the fun.

    THANG

    COP (In honor of the Playoff Teams)

    • Spit (7-6) – Burpees x 7 OYO
    • EFH (9-4) – Imperial Walkers x 9
    • Viral (9-4) – Snow Angels x 9
    • Opus (10-3) – Smurf Jacks x 10
    • Loose Goose (12-1) – HRMs x 12

    Beatdown of the Year: Loose Goose over DK week 9 by 103 points – 103 LBCs OYO

    The Good:  Loose Goose 12-1 (14-1) Champion, 2,021 Points Scored, 5 Weekly Beatdown Awards

    • Mini Lucky Horseshoe (20 of Each Exercise)
      • Lap Around Parking Lot, Merkins
      • Lap, Merkins, Storm Squats
      • Lap, Merkins, Storm Squats, Scorpion Dry Docks
      • Lap, Merkins, Storm Squats, Scorpion Dry Docks, WWIIs
      • Victory Lap

    The Bad: New Market (Wilson, Marmaduke, Sparky, Honeymoon) 17-35 Combined Record

    • Modified Lindsay – 15/35 Merkins & Monkey Humpers (20/30, 25/25, 30/20, 35/15)

    The Ugly: Sparky’s 3-13 Regular and Post Season Record, Toilet Bowl Loser, 900 Points Back, Received 4 Weekly Beatdowns

    • Beast – Freddie Mercuries, American Hammers, Crunchy Frogs, Dying Cockroaches – end there, seems like a fitting end to honor Sparky’s season along with that steaming bomb Fido dropped nearby

    Mosey Back to Flag for 1 Minute of Burpees

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Twas another lively season of fantasy fun for the wannabe GMs of F3RVA.  Goose’s shrewd selection of James Conner late in the draft proved to be the big difference separating him as a contender vs. the rest of the PAX as pretenders.  YHC was certain the waiver wire pickup of Kirk Cousins was the ticket to turning it all around for the Bandandits, alas disappointment, something the Vikings will come to experience for years to come.  Marmaduke once again proved to be a fantastic draft host, Wilson showed marked improvement reaching the 5th place game, and Flatline once again missed the playoffs, but remained loud and proud.  In the end, only one team could bring up the six.  Sparky’s crew was about as bad as it gets.  A who’s who of walking wounded, washed up, and never weres.  Thanks for all who participated and YHC looks forward to next season.  Apologies to the innocent bystanders caught up in today’s Q.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Ollivander Q Puppy Pile 1/26

  • Cyber Monday

    At least 11 Behemoths took to the grounds of TES for a Cyber Monday beatdown at Hoedown, 3 Qs for the price of 1.

    THANG

    SPLINTER Q

    Mosey to Front of School

    COP – DQs, IWs, Mountain Climbers, Helicopters, Arm Circles

    Mosey to Bus Loop

    Curb Crawl – Up to 6 Merkins, repeato and reverso

    Mosey back to Front Lawn

    P1 – Run to TES sign and back; P2 – Merkins on Bike Rack, repeato x 3

    EF HUTTON Q

    Mosey to Blacktop Basketball Courts

    4 Corners (Compounding at each corner- Bearcrawl Length/ Lunge Width) – Imperial Squat Walkers x 10, American Hammers x 15, Merkins x 20, WWIIs x 25

    Flutter Kicks/ 6 Inches/ Flutter Kicks for the 6

    FUDD Q

    Mosey to Back Field

    Beast – Merkins, Squats?, Mountain Climbers, Imperial Squat Walkers, Peter Parkers

    10 Burpees OYO

    Mosey back to VSF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT (Fudd)

    MOLESKIN

    The PAX arrived this fine Monday morn to find a rare Q-less Hoedown.  At the beep of Angus’s 5:30 alarm, Splinter grabbed the bull by the horns and off the PAX went.  Mid-Merkin during round 2 of the Partner work an unidentified member of the PAX, not Keymaster, sounded the alarms.  YHC poses the question, is there anything funnier than a well-timed fart?  Call YHC doubtful, weddings, funerals, holiday feasts, beatdowns, a fart is the perfect comic relief for all occasions.  Well wishes to Fudd as he starts his new job in Denver a week from today.  Thanks for taking us out with a bang.  Though there was no time for 36 Burpees, Peter Parkers proved plenty tough to put YHC over the top.  YHC is certain he missed several PAX, please comment so you can be added.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Wish Gumbo a Happy Birthday

    Coats for Marmaduke

    Something Else??

  • Vote Yes on Proposition F3

    Red, blue, doesn’t matter in the gloom, 14 able bodied voters turned out at NoToll to cast their vote for a beatdown and also to kick off YHC’s birthday with a bang.

    THANG

    Mosey to back lot

    COP

    • Copperhead Squats
    • Cherry Pickers
    • Hillbillies
    • LBCs
    • Reverse Scorpions
    • Merkins

    Mosey to field 1

    Battle for the House (Split PAX in half – Team Red vs. Team Blue)

    • First team to 218 Burpees wins to take the House – Winner Team Blue

    Mosey to shelter

    Shootout for the Senate

    • First member of Team Blue or Red to 51 Derkins wins the Senate – Winner Rosie, Team Blue

    Mosey to Field 3

    Election 1 – Lindsay vs. Dora – Winner Lindsay

    • Lindsay (20/50…50/20) Merkins & Monkey Humpers

    Mosey back to Field 1

    Election 2 – 4 Corners vs. Triple Check – Winner 4 Corners

    • 4 Corners (C1 10 Merkins, C2 10 Merkins & 20 Mountain Climbers, C3 10,20, 30 Jump Squats, C4 10,20,30, 40 Freddie Mercurys)

    Election 3 – PLTs vs. P Dying Cockroaches – Winner PLTs

    • 3 sets of 25 each

    Recount Election 2 – Winner Triple Check

    P1 Dips, P2 Box Cutters, P3 Run Field

    Mosey back to SF

    Dictator Q calls for 1 minute of Burpees OYO

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Once every 6 weeks to 2 months or so YHC treks back down to the place he used to call his home AO.  Always great to see the fine gentlemen of SOJ and also to enjoy the velvety soft fields of NoToll.  No better way to kick off YHC’s birthday/ Election Day/ fellow PAX Posh’s birthday than with a beatdown and the Q.  YHC planned to have the PAX choose their own adventure and vote throughout the workout for which pain to be inflicted.  Honeydo contacted YHC yesterday to let him know the PAX at the Heartbreak Ridge polling place would be fighting it out for control of the House and the Senate and suggested we do the same.  Not surprising, any team with Rosie as a member would come out on top.  YHC would vote for Rosie in a second.  Welcome to FNG Radar, hope to have you back soon, Respect!  Regardless of whether we’re team red or team blue today, let’s all hope our re-elected and new leaders exemplify the servant leadership of the fine men and women of F3 and FiA.  In Shakedown’s wise words, vote yes on proposition F3.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Hammers and Ales this Saturday

  • The Freaks Come Out at 0530

    17 Goblins rose from the grave for a howling Halloween beatdown.  EF planted the Flag.  Here’s how it went down.

    SLAUGTER Starter Burpees x 20

    Mosey to circle next to Carillon

    Circle of PAIN (IC)

    • Merkins
    • Wide Grip Merkins
    • Diamond Merkins
    • Chuck Norris Knerkins
    • Hand Release Merkins
    • Shoulder Tap Merkins
    • SSHs

    BERMUDA TRIANGLE BEAST – Lt. Dans, Crabcakes, Imperial Squat Walkers (Bernie uphill round 1 and 3)

    Cut the head off the Beast and mosey to the cage

    HANG MAN

    • Overhand Hang Chin Over Bar
    • Hanging Heals to HELL
    • Underhand Hang Chin Over Bar
    • Hanging Heals to HELL

    Mosey back to Flag

    DEATH by Burpee – 6,7, 8, 9, 10

    DYING Cockroaches IC

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC loves a good theme and also happens to love Halloween, perfect time for a Q.  If any of the PAX was actually in costume YHC overlooked and apologizes.  Lots of terrifying fun was planned from Zombie chases to a FrankenLindsay, but the Beast put up a hard 20-minute fight and there wasn’t enough time.  Alas, Halloween comes again next year.  Great to see Saabski back out at a bootcamp.  Hope everything is good.  YHC generally prefers action and comedy but a good scare this time of year is fun.  Throw out your favorite scare in the comments.  YHC’s favorites are Silence of the Lambs and Seven.  What you guys got?  If YHC knocks on your door this evening Snickers and Skittles are great, but IPAs and Stouts are even better.  Happy Halloween!

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Ghost Flag

    Bear Creek

    Hammers and Ales

    Merkin Challenge

  • EF’s Playroom

    4 strong converged upon the pre-fartsack PM gloom at Punisher for a beautiful October beatdown.  EF planted the Flag.  Here’s how it went down.

    Short mosey to front field

    COP (IC)

    • Copperhead Squats
    • Arm Circles
    • SSHs
    • Imperial Walkers
    • Merkins
    • Mountain Climbers
    • LBCs

    Mosey to Parking Lot

    • Sprint 1/3, Mosey 2/3
    • Sprint 2/3, Mosey 1/3
    • Sprint 3/3

    Mosey to Picnic Tables

    • 11s – Dips and Box Jumps

    Mosey to Blacktop to Find EF’s Playroom Full of Toys

    Conveyor Belt

    • PAX 1 – Sledgehammer Tire Slams
    • PAX 2 – Burpees
    • PAX 3 – Jump Rope
    • PAX 4 – Dribble Down Court –> Make a Lay Up

    Repeato Twice More (Free Throw, Lay Up and Free Throw)

    Mosey to Bus Loop

    Ark Loader

    • Bear Crawl
    • Duck Walk
    • Crab Walk

    Reverso

    • Crawl Bear
    • Polar Bear
    • Bunny Hop

    Mosey to Front of School

    Partner 1 Exercise/ Partner 2 Run to Far Tree and Back

    • Wall Climbs
    • Flutter Kicks
    • People’s Chair
    • Box Cutters

    Mosey to VSF

    Mary

    • Partner Dying Cockroaches 3×20

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    A long five morning absence from the gloom had YHC chomping at the bit for a beatdown and some F3 brotherhood.  Afternoon check of the Q sheet showed no official Chum Q, let’s give him the night off.  YHC couldn’t have asked for better Sunny and 70 F3 RVA weather.  Offshore once again reminded YHC that he’s faster.  Chum smoked the PAX in 11s, and Kru slings a sledgehammer like he’s been laying train tracks all his life.  Wilson’s partner dying cockroaches seemed to be a hit.  As always, YHC appreciates the chance to lead.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    CSAUP October 20th

     

  • Maybe Do Some Legs Now?

    Five Goliaths from far and wide arrived at Twin Team to find no Q and no locals.  No problem, here’s how it went down.

    THANG

    EF HUTTON Q

    Mosey to field behind school

    COP Greatest Hits – SSHs, IWs, Helicopters, Arm Circles, Merkins, Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey to hillside

    1 Booyah Merkin at bottom, Bernie Uphill, 2 Booyah Merkins, Run Downhill, 3, Bernie….10 Booyah Merkins (single count)

    Mosey to baseball field

    Whatchamacallits w/ audible to 8

    TOBIT Q

    Mosey to bus loop

    Tree Line Escalator (Add a tree and an exercise each round, repeat exercises in reverso)

    1 Burpee, 2 2ct Lunges, 3 Freddie Mercurys, 4 Squats, 5 Merkins

    LOOSE GOOSE Q

    Mosey back to field behind school

    Ark Loader – Bear Crawl, Flamingo Walk, Crab Walk Backward, Bunny Hop, Crab Walk Forward, Duck Walk

    Plankorama After Each Animal

    HANDSHAKE Q

    Mosey to playground

    4 Sets of 8 Pull-ups

    Mosey back to VSF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC awoke several times throughout the night with thoughts of a hot potato Q running through his head.  With that, a perfect time to drop some whatchamacallits on unsuspecting victims.  Unfortunately, Handshake knew what was coming and YHC didn’t get to enjoy seeing the PAX turn from laughter to horror.  Goose told a story from a former life with paid personal trainers where movements such as the whatchamacallits with a heavier rep followed by lighter reps in higher volume suck blood into the muscle causing it to grow quickly.  YHC thinks there’s probably a great Saab joke about blood, sucking, and muscles growing quickly in there.  After the shoulder destruction, YHC tossed to Tobit with the prompt, maybe do some legs now?  Solid work by all, great to be back at Twin Team and always a pleasure to fight the good fight with such high-quality men.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    There are a couple of openings in F3RVA Fantasy Football.  Contact EF Hutton if interested.

    Probably something YHC is forgetting.

  • We Can Make It If We Try

    2 strong braved the heat for a steamy Punisher.  EF planted the Flag.  Here’s how it went down.

    Long Mosey around AO and back to front field

    COP (IC)

    • SSHs
    • Russian Soldiers
    • Imperial Walkers
    • Rib Spreaders
    • Arm Circles
    • LBCs
    • Merkins

    Mosey to front of building

    Partner 1 Exercise/ Partner 2 Run to Street and Back

    • Wall Plank
    • Donkey Kicks
    • Flutter Kicks
    • People’s Chair
    • Repeato

    Mosey to Bus Loop

    Ark Loader

    • Bear Crawl
    • Duck Walk
    • Crab Walk
    • Bunny Hop
    • Polar Bear
    • Crawl Bear

    Mosey to Blacktop

    Partner Conveyor Belt (P1 Exercise/ P2 Make a Free Throw)

    • Sledgehammer Tire Slams
    • Jump Rope
    • Repeato

    Mosey to Picnic Tables

    11s – Dips and Box Jumps

    Mosey to SF

    Mary

    • LBCs
    • Box Cutters
    • PLTs x 25
    • 10 Burpees OYO

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC received a heads up from F3 RVA’s social media guru, aka Lab Rat, that an FNG was planning to post for Monday’s rendition of the Punisher.  Alright that makes at least 3 if not 4 PAX.  6:15 text from Chum Bucket saying he’s out of town.  Hmmm, might just be 3 of us.  6:20 FNG arrives, 6:30 no Sonny, so let’s roll, just the two of us.  Along the way YHC gives the FNG a rundown of how things are done.  Quick disclaimer and time to sweat.  And sweat we did.  8:45 as of this backblast YHC’s shower didn’t take and he continues to sweat.  Welcome to FNG Crossroads (Diego).  Crossroads’ favorite band is Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and he hails from Statesville, NC, a town famous for lying on the intersection of I-77 and I-40, thus Crossroads.  Ok, his first concert was Coldplay and he made no mention of his favorite band, but we’ll just go with it.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Convergence Wednesday 7am Downtown

    F3RVA Fantasy Football – talk to EF Hutton if interested, a few spots are open

  • Drinking the Kool-Aid

    No Q, No Problem.  5 seasoned vets and 1 newish guy emerged from the sack to explore the damp hillside at Batteau.  Here’s what was done.

    THANG

    SWIRLY Q

    Mosey to field

    COP

    • SSHs
    • Helicopters
    • Imperial Walkers
    • Don Quixotes

    Mosey to playground

    3 Rounds – 5 Pull-ups, 10 Derkins, 15 Incline Merkins, 20 Dips

    HUTTON Q

    Mosey to Tree Line

    Tree Line Escalator (Add a tree and an exercise each round) 6 Rounds – Merkins, LBCs, Jump Squats, Carolina Dry Docks, Monkey Humpers, Burpees x 10 reps each tree

    FLANGE Q

    Mosey to Valley

    Dora w Partner running to top – 100 Squats, 200 Flutter Kicks, 200 SSHs

    TOBIT Q

    Mosey to Loop

    Triple Check – WWIIs, American Hammers, Run Extended Loop

    PONCH Q

    Stretch it Out – Cherry Pickers, Calf Stretch

    Mosey back to VSF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC loves Batteau, it’s a darn fine AO, but Hoedown is so darn close.  Regardless, it was great to be back there after a long hiatus.  A quick glance at Big Data shows that Ponch has posted 8 times in 2 weeks.  He’s clearly drinking the Kool-Aid.  Drink it up buddy, this Kool-Aid won’t kill you, in fact it’ll make you stronger.  Side note, that expression should really be Drinking the Flavor-Aid, just look it up if you don’t know.  Speaking of Ponch, as he walked up to YHC this morning trying to recall YHC’s name, “Splinter right?”  Not quite, but I get that a lot.  Can’t wait for Ponch to see YHC and Splinter side by side and see how comically different we are in stature.  Later having not grasped YHC’s name pre-workout, “was it Fudd?”  Not quite, but I get that a lot.  Just messing with you Ponch, if you knew everyone’s name already YHC would wonder what really was in the Kool-Aid.  Anyway, great to have you out on the regular.  One other interesting tidbit from the morning.  Unless YHCs eyes deceived him, Tobit was wearing his gloves as he drove up, making him the anti-Mr.Roper.  YHC wonders if Tobit also wears his shoes to bed at night.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Home Run Derby – Tuesday @ Huguenot Little League (2801 Robious Crossing Drive, Midlothian, VA 23113) – May want to bring a glove

    American Arena League Championship Saturday at the Coliseum – YHC will be there, will you?

  • Four Point Conversion

    Nine Ballers entered the arena for a Richmond Roughriders inspired beatdown.  Here’s how it happened.

    THANG

    Mosey in front of school to bus parking lot.

    COP

    • SSHs x 18
    • Copperhead Squats x 18
    • HR Merkins x 18
    • Reverse Scorpions x 18
    • Crabcakes x 18
    • Helicopters x 10

    Mosey around school and down to football field

    Agility Drills

    • High Knees across field, repeat
    • Karaoke across, repeat
    • Back Pedal, repeat
    • Slurpees (Slide 5 steps, Burpee) across, repeat

    F3 Gassers

    • Sprint Goal Line to 10yd line and back, repeat to 20yd line, 30, 40, 50,…. opposite Goal Line and back

    Passing Tree (Waiting PAX does SSHs, Jump Squats, Lunges, LBCs) Dropped pass = 2 Burpees for all

    • 10 and In
    • 10 and Out
    • Post
    • Fly

    Arena Bowl I (4 on 4)

    Mosey back to SF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Those who know YHC well are quite aware of his love affair with obscure sports, particularly minor league arena football.  Yeah, that’s right, in case the PAX didn’t know, there is a team in town called the Richmond Roughriders and they’re awesome.  18-1 over two seasons to be exact and the #1 seed heading into the American Arena League playoffs kicking off this Saturday at the Coliseum.  The games cost the same as a Squirrels’ outing but are twice as fun, money back guaranteed.  Notable current Roughriders’ players include former NFL Pro-Bowler, part-time UFC fighter and all around good guy Greg Hardy, former Saint and Super Bowl Champion Robert Meachem, plus local Hokie hero Davon Morgan.  The games are high-paced, hard-hitting, and will keep you on the edge of your seat.  YHC planned this workout to bring awareness to this great game and source of entertainment.  Apart from the Braves/ Squirrels, professional sports teams have a long history of failure in RVA and YHC would like that to change.  YHC encourages all PAX to get out and see a game and support these weekend warriors who lay it on the line simply for love of the game.  YHC will be at the Coliseum at 6:30 at the box office across 7th street from the parking deck if anyone would like to join Rider Nation.

    Team 1 (Rosie, DK, Phonics, and Offshore) were stifled and confused by the half zone/ half man defense of Team 2 (EF, Gumbo, Tobit, Bag Phone).  Gumbo led Team 2’s aerial attack, but was let down by YHC’s stone hands.  Offshore throws a pretty ball with his slick left handed Vick-like flick.  Shakedown opted to take some laps.  In the end Arena Bowl I ended in a very un-arena football like 0-0 tie.  YHC provided some comic relief while just missing on a perfectly thrown corner route by Gumbo stepping in a mud puddle and sliding on his back about 6 feet.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Happy Hour, today Hardywood West Creek whenever you can get there

    RVA Summer Tour rolls on

    Amateur RAMM Gears this Friday, anything with wheels counts (bike, roller skates, Walmart motorized scooter)

    Welcome Bag Phone

  • A Tradition Unlike Any Other II

    Thirteen proficient ball strikers hit the links at Mary Munford in a quest for the elusive F3 Mudgear brand Green Jacket in perfect 70ish and sunny weather.  EF planted the flagstick.  Here’s how it went down.

    Mosey down Magnolia Lane to the driving range in front of the school.

    COP (IC)

    • Merkins x 18
    • Flutter Kicks x 18
    • Copperhead Squats x 18
    • Arm Circles x 18 (9 front, 9 back)

    Mosey to the 11th

    Amen 4 Corners (4 rounds)

    • American Hammers x 18 (2c)
    • Mountain Climbers x 18 (2c)
    • Merkins x 18
    • Dips x 18

    Plankorama

    Mosey to Rae’s Creek

    Chase the Tiger

    • P1 Elin does 3 burpees then runs down P2 Tiger bearcrawling, alternate down fairway
    • SSH x 36
    • Reverso and Repeato

    Gore-orama

    Drive, Chip, Putt

    • From tee box hit the box around the shovel flag – 5 burpees per stroke, repeato 3 holes

    Mary on the 18th green

    • Caddy Leg Toss (2 sets of 18)
    • Freddie M. (Couples) x 18
    • Tee Box Cutters x 18
    • Alphabet – spell AUGUSTA NATIONAL or JOSE MARIA OLAZABAL (PAX Choice)

    Mosey along cart path back to Clubhouse

    19TH GREEN

    Hello Friends.

    Every year at this time there’s an event they call a Tradition Unlike Any Other.  Up range here at MM Country Club we now have our own little tradition unlike any other.  The PAX, though smaller than last year, had an idea of what was to come and were pumped to tee off at 0530.  Unlike TYA last year, it didn’t take spelling Augusta National at the end of the workout for the theme of the day to become known.  Unlike the pros who warm up on the range, YHC prefers to warm up at the bar and jump right in on the 1st tee box, thus straight to Merkins to get it going in the COP.  During the 4 Corners, Swirly, playing speed golf, was crossing the Hogan Bridge while the rest of the PAX had yet to make the turn.  Well done!  The Drive, Chip, Putt competition went a bit smoother this year with the LED powered Pro V1 Frisbee vs. the range disc used last year.  Equipment matters little when you’re a hack however.  YHC is pretty certain the PAX was about 6 over through 3, but we’ll just put down Par on the ol’ scorecard.  It was the short game, and the long game that let the PAX down.  Not surprisingly mumblechatter involved a lot of Caddyshack quotes and of course someone in the gallery yelled GET IN THE HOLE!  As we go forth let’s remember that 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but 3 rights make a left.  As mentioned during the COT, may the PAX’s days be filled with Eagles and Birdies.  Until next year…

    Numberama

    Nameorama

    COT

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    CSAUP – just over a week away