Author: EF Hutton

  • Up Before the Army

    Two men arrived at Early Bird Off The Books with big bells in tow, one left his bells at home.  Here’s what went down.

    Kubota

    Mosey to the field

    COP (IC)

    • SSHs
    • IWs
    • Helicopters
    • Hillbillies
    • WWIIs

    Mosey to the bottom of S Ridge for a Lindsay

    • Merkins/ LBCs (30/10, 25/15….)
    • Mosey uphill between sets with High Knees, Butt Kickers, Bernie Sanders, Bear Crawl

    Honeydo

    Mosey to parking lot for Triple Check

    • KB Sit and Press, KB Swings, Run a Lap

    EF Hutton

    Mosey to the “Closest” Curb

    • Curb Crawl up to 5 Merkins and Back Down
    • Pause for Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey to Retaining Rails

    • Dips IC 3×10
    • Decline Merkins IC x 10
    • Incline Merkins IC x 10
    • Regular Merkins IC x 10
    • Flutter Kicks IC x 30
    • APDs IC x 30
    • Burpees x 5

    Mosey back to SF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Nothing better than starting your day at 0530, except maybe starting your day at 0500, am I right?  With each passing week the small but loyal faithful find new tricks and ways to expand and challenge this little-known AO.  Saabski’s driveway was left untainted this week, but the PAX did demonstrate Monkey Humpers for the paper carrier.  YHC has a question, does an AO require a name to make it onto the Winter Tour?  Asking for a friend.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Prayers for Offshore’s ILs

  • Swirly vs. Car

    Six arrived on wheels, most with 4, one with 2 to take on the sleet and get some miles before and after the main event. A hair shy of 4 to be exact. On the way over someone dared to speed by the PAX crossing the icy Robinson St. bridge. Swirly gave them the old staredown. One can only assume the driver pissed their pants.

  • A Highly Disinterested PAX

    Three F3RVA GMs escaped the fartsack to pay penance to the Fantasy Gods in the third inaugural F3 RVA Fantasy Football review.  Seven more with little to no interest in the theme of the day hopped on for the ride.

    THANG

    COP (In honor of the Playoff Teams)

    • Honeymoon (7-6) – Copperhead Squats x 7
    • Viral (7-6) – Snow Angels x 7
    • Sparky (8-5) – APDs x 8
    • Loose Goose (9-4) – Hand Release Merkins x 9
    • Opus (11-2) – Smurf Jacks x 11

    Beatdown of the Year: Loose Goose over BT week 10 by 85 points – 85 LBCs OYO

    The Good:  Opus 11-2 (13-2) Champion, 2,039 Points Scored, 4 Weekly Beatdown Awards

    • Opus Trivia
      • Fantasy MVP?  Lamar Jackson # 8 – 8 Burpees OYO and a Lap
      • RB of the Year? Christian McCaffrey # 22 – 22 Merkins and a Lap
      • WR of the Year? Michael Thomas w/ 149 Receptions – 149 Monkey Humpers and a Lap

    The Bad: The Usual Suspects (Wilson, Marmaduke, DK) 37-80 All-Time Combined Record, 0 Winning Seasons

    • 37 – DK style Bob and Weave (19R/18L)
    • 80 – Wilson’s Boxing Cockroaches

    The Ugly: Marmaduke “The Toilet King”– 3 Straight Toilet Bowl Appearances, Loser of 2, 11-28 All-Time

    • Beast – Freddie Mercuries, Jump Squats, American Hammers, Merkins, Mountain Climbers, Burpees

    Marmaduke’s Revenge – 5 Forward/ 5 Backward Sprints across Parking Lot

    Mosey Back to Flag for 2 Minutes of Mary

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Season 3 of F3 RVA Fantasy Football comes to its conclusion with the man who owned the league from start to finish on top.  Congrats to Opus and his unstoppable group of Lamar Jackson, Austin Ekeler, Michael Thomas and the Patriots Defense.  YHC was arguably the hottest team in the league at the end of the season, but it was too little too late for the Bandandits, alas disappointment, but the future is bright.  For many teams, ahem DK and Wilson, it was business as usual.  The business of losing.  BT joined them, while Sparky had his best season and Flatline once again missed the playoffs by a hair.  In the end only one team could bring up the six.  Marmaduke was a fantastic draft host and put up a respectable regular season, but once again found himself in the Toilet Bowl for the third straight season, snatching that coveted title away from DK.  Thanks to all who participated and YHC looks forward to next season.  Apologies to the innocent bystanders caught up in today’s Q.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Convergence 1/1 @ The Forge 7am

  • Round the Outside, Round the Outside

    Three studs and a studlier 3.0 took to the trails. Standard loop starting south over the bridge down the Buttermilk to Belle Isle. Quick trip round the outside, over the bridge and back on Northbank. Sevenish miles were completed. Busy, but beautiful morning on the trails.

  • Corned Beef Sandwich

    Two hearty slices of PAX sandwiched a Corned Beef beatdown by running from ET’s to DogPile and back covering approximately 3.9 miles. Breakfast Club is still a thing, come on out when you can. Great to have Hardywood back at it.

  • They Hate Me, Cuz They Ain’t Me

    Seven veterans of the gloom gathered to hate YHC as brothers do.  Here’s what went down.

    Mosey to the Amphitheater floor

    COP (IC)

    • Copperhead Squats
    • Don Quixotes
    • Arm Circles
    • Lying Rockettes
    • Freddie Mercurys
    • Merkins

    Mosey to side of stage for Lindsay

    • Monkey Humpers/ Reverse Crunches (Bernie Up the Hill) x 35/5, 30/10, 25/15….

    Mosey to long line of poles

    • Pole Smoker Native Run x 5 or 6 times through

    Mosey to Carillon circle

    • Bear Crawl to Center x 10 merkins, Crawl Bear back x 10 merkins
    • Repeato w/ Boo Boo Bear Crawl Right (Werkins), Boo Boo BC Left (Diamond Merks), Army Crawl (HRM)

    Mosey to Carillon for Over and Under

    Mosey back to SF

    • Burpees for time

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    One last hate filled mosey around the sun before YHC joins the ranks of the ignored.  Only way YHC wants to celebrate is with a beatdown and a few col beers (later).  Mumblechatter was fairly low throughout, lots of groans during the pole smokers and the PAX seemed to dislike the Bear Crawl Merkin routine to YHC’s delight.  Dug into the archives for a couple of today’s activities.  Always fun to do something old, but new.  Boo Boo Crawl Bear is best left to the experts.  SYITG.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Solid job by PAX reaching Mustache Raise goal

  • Can a PAX of 2 Circle Up?

    No Chum, no problem, 2 studs came out for the afternoon gloom of Holton Elementary.  Here’s what went down.

    Mosey to the back field.

    COP (IC)

    • Imperial Walkers
    • DQs
    • Jazzercises
    • Freddy Mercurys
    • Merkins
    • Jack Webb – Legs (1:4 ratio up to 8:32) – pause for Heals to Heaven in middle
      • Jump Squats/ Monkey Humpers

    Mosey to picnic tables

    • P1 – Lap around field
    • P2 – Exercises (Skull Crushers R/L, Dips, Incline Merkins, Crunchy Frogs)

    Mosey to Planters

    • Forward, Side L, Forward, Side R lunges all the way through

    Mosey to bus loop

    • High Knees to 1st light
    • Bear Crawl to 2nd light
    • WWIIs x 20
    • Crab Walk to 1st light
    • Polar Bears to 2nd light

    Mosey to front of school

    • P1 – Run to big tree and back
    • P2 – Exercises (People’s Chair, BTTW, Donkey Kicks)
    • Repeato

    Boxing Cockroaches x 20, 25, 30

    Mosey to VSF

    • Burpees for time

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC expected a slight crowd when Chum Bucket let everyone know that he was out for the week.  With 1 Trail Guide and 1 Greenhorn in attendance, YHC took the Q and off we went.  Upon settling in for the COP, YHC wondered to himself, can a PAX of 2 in fact circle up?  Hmm, deep thoughts, by Jack Handey.  Dial Up commented a few times that YHC was pulling lots of new material out of his bag of tricks, only to be told these are basically just the greatest hits.  Check out a DTH Q for some truly ground-breaking stuff.  Great to have Dial Up alongside for the evening.  Keep posting, SYITG.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Prayers for PAX in need

    Hammers and Ales – See Viral

  • A New Record for Jazzercise

    A new SOT record of 18 Behemoths hit the grounds of Midlo Middle on YHC’s 4-year anniversary for lots of corners and Jazzercise?

    Here’s how it went down.

    Mosey around the lot to pick up the LIFOs then down to the parking lot behind the football fieldhouse

    COP (IC)

    • DQs
    • Jazzercises
    • Russian Soldiers
    • SSHs
    • Plank Variations
    • Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey to the practice football/ lacrosse/ field hockey field

    4 Corners, 4 Times

    • Compounding 5 x Merkins, 10 x LBCs, 15 x Monkey Humpers, 20 x SSHs
    • Repeato adding 5 reps to each exercise for 4 rounds – total count 200 x Merkins, 210 x LBCs, 180 Monkey Humps, 110 SSHs, 4 Laps around the Field
    • Mary for the 6 – Flutter Kicks, American Hammers, Heals to Heaven, WWIIs

    Mosey to the fieldhouse and Partner up

    • Partner 1 – Wall Climbs x 2 / Donkey Kicks x 2
    • Partner 2 – Bear Crawl x 2 / Bernie x 2 to the Crosswalk

    Mary – Hello Dollys, Rosalitas, 6 Inches

    Mosey to the flag

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    As the great philosopher Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  Life does move pretty fast.  It’s been 4 years since YHC’s first taste of the gloom.  A lot of life has happened in that time, some great, some not so much, but YHC is forever grateful for the consistency of this brotherhood and all that comes with it.  For newer guys, YHC challenges you to stop and look around, don’t miss it, you might see something special.  YHC confirmed via big data that 17 was the previous SOT record.  Highly unlikely the record was higher pre-big data and wouldn’t really count anyway, like all those Browns championships pre-Super Bowl.  Always fun to step out and lead.  Thanks to all who praised the creativity of the 4 corners.  You’re welcome.  For all who laughed during the Jazzercises, at least it wasn’t standing APDs or partner bear crawls.  Enjoyed it, SYITG.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Prayers for all our PAX in need, Marv and Cerrano were mentioned

    Cash for ‘Stache for Raise – give generously

    Hammers and Ales

    Poker Saturday at Mr. Holland’s

  • Mumblechatter At An All-Time High

    Over the river, through the woods, to Marmaduke’s Q we go.

    5-6 miles total for breakfast clubbers today. Pax of 1, until YHC picked up Bleeder out for an early mile by the lake. Do the voices in YHC’s head count as mumblechatter?

  • Cornhole – Last Call

    Gents, the retreat is a week and a half away. If you are attending and would like to compete in the cornhole tournament, please sign up immediately. We would like to finalize the teams and bracket asap. The tournament is double elimination, net scoring, and starts at 4:30pm sharp. There is a prize for the winning team and plenty of ridicule for the biggest losers. You can signup on the monthly challenges sheet or by commenting to this post, or by sending YHC, Dr. TryHard or Vinny a message. If you would like to play, but do not have a partner let us know and we’ll help you find one.