Author: EF Hutton

  • When EF Speaks, Ollie Doesn’t Listen

    A solid 14 sought truth on a beautiful Wednesday at Midlo Middle.  Only a few travelers from north of the river, the rest were business as usual.  Here’s how it went down.

    Mosey to end of the school

    COP (IC) – odd numbers of reps to confuse Wilson

    • Hillbillies
    • Copperhead Squats
    • Arm Circles – Chumbucket style
    • Reverse Scorpions
    • Boxcutters
    • Crabcakes
    • Hand Release Merkins

    Mosey down around track onto football field

    80 Yards of H*ll– (10 reps at each 10 yd marker) w/ Burpee Equalizer

    • Merkins, run back
    • Merkins, Jump Squats, run back
    • Merkins, Jump Squats, Carolina Dry Docks, run back
    • Merkins, Jump Squats, Carolina Dry Docks, Lunges, run back
    • Merkins, Jump Squats, Carolina Dry Docks, Lunges, Monkey Humpers, run back
    • Merkins, Jump Squats, Carolina Dry Docks, Lunges, Monkey Humpers, Reverse Crunches, run back
    • Merkins, Jump Squats, Carolina Dry Docks, Lunges, Monkey Humpers, Reverse Crunches, WWIIs, run back
    • Merkins, Jump Squats, Carolina Dry Docks, Lunges, Monkey Humpers, Reverse Crunches, WWIIs, Burpees, run back

    Mosey to other end of football field

    Reverso exercises and repeato – Burpees, WWIIs… audible after 3 rounds

    Mosey toward fieldhouse

    PLTs – 3×20 (Monkey Humpers for the 6)

    Bernie up the hill

    Mosey to the flag

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC traveled down to SOT with a simple, but effective plan of attack.  A total body beatdown with very little fluff was the idea.  YHC loves a good theme, but sometimes it’s best to just get to work.  After having just done 35 sets of exercises each with 10 repetitions and a little running mixed in, somehow Ollivander got the idea that the PAX was to do 5 Burpees on the last set.  YHC and others looked on in amazement as Ollie shot back down the field while the rest of the PAX was on Burpee # 2.  Even Sippy couldn’t keep up with that pace.  As Q called for a reverso of exercises Ollie caught on that 10 was the correct number.  Being a man of principle, all Burpees were completed.  YHC, didn’t hear a lot of the mumblechatter, but did at one point hear someone say “EF you’re getting me so wet.”  YHC isn’t sure whether to be flattered or disgusted. 

    ANNOUNCEMENTS HDHH – SOJ status is Questionable to Doubtful

  • How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?

    Two Gearheads and one extra credit seeking novice set off on gravel to explore Pocahontas State Park. Twenty to thirtyish miles was the plan or so YHC was told. Thirty minutes into the ride, Q called for a little sidetrack exploration. Terrain was clear and open, no major obstacles it would seem. Somehow YHC caught a root or was snared by a booby trap, either way a spill was taken. After a few minutes shaking off the cobwebs, YHC realized he had some damaged equipment. No Tools and Pullout graciously guided YHC back to his car and off to Dick’s for replacement gear. YHC trekked a hair over 10 miles, No Tools and Pullout set sail again for a few more. A great-ish time was had. Where’s the Tylenol?

    Presumably No Tools and Pullout finished with numberama, nameorama, and COT.

  • The Unusual Suspects

    Two usual and two unusual suspects ventured out to Batteau after an evening of storms, some with, some without power.

    THANG (as best YHC remembers)

    SWIRLY Q

    Mosey to the Tennis Court

    COP – IWs, Helicopters, DQs, SSHs, Merkins, Flutter Kicks, LBCs

    Mosey to Playground

    • 5 x Chin-ups, 7 x CMMs, 10 x Dips, 15 x Incline Merkins – 3 rounds

    Mosey back to Tree Line along Path

    • 5 x Exercise at Each Tree – Merkins, Jump Squats, Diamond Merks, Lt. Dans, Wide Merks, V-Ups, Burpees, Others

    SIPPY Q

    Mosey Past Service Shed Down the Stairs to the Pond – Grab a Rock for the Trip

    • Exercises at each Lamp Post with Rock – Merkins, Staggered Merkins, Bench press, Rock Slams, Plankorama, American Hammers, Lunges, Bearway to Hell
    • Partner Up – P1 Runs up Stairs and Back, P2 Plank with Rock on Back

    Mosey back up Stairs to Return Rocks

    EF HUTTON Q

    Mosey back to Tree Line along Path

    • 10 x Monkey Humpers Each Tree

    Mosey back to VSF

    • 20 x Boxing Cockroaches – 2 Rounds

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT (Swirly)

    MOLESKIN

    YHC commented to Swirly last Wednesday that he was overdue for a trip down to Batteau.  Rolled out of the sack and chose the red pill expecting to meet up with the usual Batteau players, but only Swirly and Sippy were in attendance.  No problem, great to see Posh and enjoy what this fine AO has to offer.  Thanks to Sippy for keeping it all business during the Chad Michael Michaels, some of the usual, less mature, suspects could make that one pretty awkward.  If LabRat was on hand he’d apologize for the 4 big holes the PAX created by the pond with the Rock Slams.  YHC personally finds those very gratifying, though today made for a muddy morning after.  YHC had a flashback to the inaugural Batteau July 4th sweatfest as the PAX carried the rocks back up the stairs to return.  That workout still gives YHC F3PTSD.  What a great start to tax day!  SYITG.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS Puppy Pile anytime soon?

  • A Tradition Unlike Any Other – 3rd Inaugural

    Three foursomes hit the links at Mary Munford in a quest for the elusive F3 Mudgear brand Green Jacket in perfect 70ish and sunny weather.  EF planted the flagstick.  Here’s how it went down.

    Mosey down Magnolia Lane to the driving range in front of the school.

    COP (IC)

    • Merkins x 18
    • Flutter Kicks x 18
    • Copperhead Squats x 18
    • SSH x 18

    Mosey to the 11th

    Amen 4 Corners (4 rounds)

    • American Hammers x 18 (2c)
    • Mountain Climbers x 18 (2c)
    • Merkins x 18
    • Dips x 18

    Plankorama

    Mosey to Rae’s Creek

    Rory 1-2-3

    • Player and Caddie – 18 Ball Marker (Booyah) Merkins
    • Player Exercises, Caddie Runs to the 9th Azalea (Tree) – 72 Jimmy (Imperial Squat) Walkers/ 288 Hello Friends (Dollys)

    Gore-orama

    Drive, Chip, Putt

    • From tee box hit the box around the shovel flag – 5 burpees per stroke, repeato 3 holes

    Mary on the 18th green

    • Caddie Leg Toss (2 sets of 18)
    • Freddie Couples (Mercurys) x 18
    • Tee Box Cutters x 18
    • Alphabet – spell PIMENTO CHEESE SANDWICH or LOUIS OOSTHUIZEN (PAX Choice)

    Mosey along cart path back to Clubhouse

    19TH GREEN

    Hello Friends.

    As they mark 85 years of a tradition unlike any other down in Augusta (Quadruple Respect Aye!), we the PAX of Mary Munford Country Club have a little tradition of our own, some might say ours is even richer with history.  With a few PAX members off on the European and South American Tour down in Bon Air and BFE, a slimmer field of 12 strong was ready to step up to the box, grip it and rip it, for an 0530 shotgun start.  Singer took off to survey the course before joining the PAX on the back nine.  Groundskeeper Spackler was out extra early lining the fairways by moonlight.  No problem, we’ll just play through.  YHC warms up in the clubhouse, so straight to the Driver on box # 1 with Merkins.  Practice?  Nah.  As the PAX took off from Amen Corner a slight groan was heard as YHC called for 4 rounds.  This ain’t the Senior’s Tour, though several PAX could stand to play the Seniors’ or Ladies’ tees given their distance out of the box.  Apologies to Bleeder, YHC was anticipating a solo round with the odd PAX prior to Singer’s arrival on #10, would have been happy to partner up.  After a couple of 3 putts and one shank off the box, YHC had the PAX at +3 thru 3, but let’s take a few Mulligans and call it PAR on the ol’ scorecard.  Where’s our club pro Lab Rat when you need him? YHC distracted by what he thought was Paulina in the gallery nearly took a TYA spike to the chin during the Caddie Leg Toss.  As always, YHC thoroughly enjoyed the round even without cart girls and a cooler full of col’ beer.  TYA encourages everyone to root for his fellow Minutemen.  Not sure either, but seems fitting.  May our days be filled with Eagles and Birdies.  Until next year…

    Numberama

    Nameorama

    COT

    ANNOUNCEMENTS Prayers to Toto for positive work review and family health.

  • Sleeper Notifications

    Sleeper notified seven of F3RVA’s armchair quarterbacks to rise from the fartsack to pay penance to the Fantasy Gods in remembrance of F3RVA’s Fantasy Football season 2.  Seven more joined in on the fun.

    THANG

    COP (In honor of the Playoff Teams)

    • Spit (7-6) – Burpees x 7 OYO
    • EFH (9-4) – Imperial Walkers x 9
    • Viral (9-4) – Snow Angels x 9
    • Opus (10-3) – Smurf Jacks x 10
    • Loose Goose (12-1) – HRMs x 12

    Beatdown of the Year: Loose Goose over DK week 9 by 103 points – 103 LBCs OYO

    The Good:  Loose Goose 12-1 (14-1) Champion, 2,021 Points Scored, 5 Weekly Beatdown Awards

    • Mini Lucky Horseshoe (20 of Each Exercise)
      • Lap Around Parking Lot, Merkins
      • Lap, Merkins, Storm Squats
      • Lap, Merkins, Storm Squats, Scorpion Dry Docks
      • Lap, Merkins, Storm Squats, Scorpion Dry Docks, WWIIs
      • Victory Lap

    The Bad: New Market (Wilson, Marmaduke, Sparky, Honeymoon) 17-35 Combined Record

    • Modified Lindsay – 15/35 Merkins & Monkey Humpers (20/30, 25/25, 30/20, 35/15)

    The Ugly: Sparky’s 3-13 Regular and Post Season Record, Toilet Bowl Loser, 900 Points Back, Received 4 Weekly Beatdowns

    • Beast – Freddie Mercuries, American Hammers, Crunchy Frogs, Dying Cockroaches – end there, seems like a fitting end to honor Sparky’s season along with that steaming bomb Fido dropped nearby

    Mosey Back to Flag for 1 Minute of Burpees

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Twas another lively season of fantasy fun for the wannabe GMs of F3RVA.  Goose’s shrewd selection of James Conner late in the draft proved to be the big difference separating him as a contender vs. the rest of the PAX as pretenders.  YHC was certain the waiver wire pickup of Kirk Cousins was the ticket to turning it all around for the Bandandits, alas disappointment, something the Vikings will come to experience for years to come.  Marmaduke once again proved to be a fantastic draft host, Wilson showed marked improvement reaching the 5th place game, and Flatline once again missed the playoffs, but remained loud and proud.  In the end, only one team could bring up the six.  Sparky’s crew was about as bad as it gets.  A who’s who of walking wounded, washed up, and never weres.  Thanks for all who participated and YHC looks forward to next season.  Apologies to the innocent bystanders caught up in today’s Q.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Ollivander Q Puppy Pile 1/26

  • Cyber Monday

    At least 11 Behemoths took to the grounds of TES for a Cyber Monday beatdown at Hoedown, 3 Qs for the price of 1.

    THANG

    SPLINTER Q

    Mosey to Front of School

    COP – DQs, IWs, Mountain Climbers, Helicopters, Arm Circles

    Mosey to Bus Loop

    Curb Crawl – Up to 6 Merkins, repeato and reverso

    Mosey back to Front Lawn

    P1 – Run to TES sign and back; P2 – Merkins on Bike Rack, repeato x 3

    EF HUTTON Q

    Mosey to Blacktop Basketball Courts

    4 Corners (Compounding at each corner- Bearcrawl Length/ Lunge Width) – Imperial Squat Walkers x 10, American Hammers x 15, Merkins x 20, WWIIs x 25

    Flutter Kicks/ 6 Inches/ Flutter Kicks for the 6

    FUDD Q

    Mosey to Back Field

    Beast – Merkins, Squats?, Mountain Climbers, Imperial Squat Walkers, Peter Parkers

    10 Burpees OYO

    Mosey back to VSF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT (Fudd)

    MOLESKIN

    The PAX arrived this fine Monday morn to find a rare Q-less Hoedown.  At the beep of Angus’s 5:30 alarm, Splinter grabbed the bull by the horns and off the PAX went.  Mid-Merkin during round 2 of the Partner work an unidentified member of the PAX, not Keymaster, sounded the alarms.  YHC poses the question, is there anything funnier than a well-timed fart?  Call YHC doubtful, weddings, funerals, holiday feasts, beatdowns, a fart is the perfect comic relief for all occasions.  Well wishes to Fudd as he starts his new job in Denver a week from today.  Thanks for taking us out with a bang.  Though there was no time for 36 Burpees, Peter Parkers proved plenty tough to put YHC over the top.  YHC is certain he missed several PAX, please comment so you can be added.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Wish Gumbo a Happy Birthday

    Coats for Marmaduke

    Something Else??

  • Vote Yes on Proposition F3

    Red, blue, doesn’t matter in the gloom, 14 able bodied voters turned out at NoToll to cast their vote for a beatdown and also to kick off YHC’s birthday with a bang.

    THANG

    Mosey to back lot

    COP

    • Copperhead Squats
    • Cherry Pickers
    • Hillbillies
    • LBCs
    • Reverse Scorpions
    • Merkins

    Mosey to field 1

    Battle for the House (Split PAX in half – Team Red vs. Team Blue)

    • First team to 218 Burpees wins to take the House – Winner Team Blue

    Mosey to shelter

    Shootout for the Senate

    • First member of Team Blue or Red to 51 Derkins wins the Senate – Winner Rosie, Team Blue

    Mosey to Field 3

    Election 1 – Lindsay vs. Dora – Winner Lindsay

    • Lindsay (20/50…50/20) Merkins & Monkey Humpers

    Mosey back to Field 1

    Election 2 – 4 Corners vs. Triple Check – Winner 4 Corners

    • 4 Corners (C1 10 Merkins, C2 10 Merkins & 20 Mountain Climbers, C3 10,20, 30 Jump Squats, C4 10,20,30, 40 Freddie Mercurys)

    Election 3 – PLTs vs. P Dying Cockroaches – Winner PLTs

    • 3 sets of 25 each

    Recount Election 2 – Winner Triple Check

    P1 Dips, P2 Box Cutters, P3 Run Field

    Mosey back to SF

    Dictator Q calls for 1 minute of Burpees OYO

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Once every 6 weeks to 2 months or so YHC treks back down to the place he used to call his home AO.  Always great to see the fine gentlemen of SOJ and also to enjoy the velvety soft fields of NoToll.  No better way to kick off YHC’s birthday/ Election Day/ fellow PAX Posh’s birthday than with a beatdown and the Q.  YHC planned to have the PAX choose their own adventure and vote throughout the workout for which pain to be inflicted.  Honeydo contacted YHC yesterday to let him know the PAX at the Heartbreak Ridge polling place would be fighting it out for control of the House and the Senate and suggested we do the same.  Not surprising, any team with Rosie as a member would come out on top.  YHC would vote for Rosie in a second.  Welcome to FNG Radar, hope to have you back soon, Respect!  Regardless of whether we’re team red or team blue today, let’s all hope our re-elected and new leaders exemplify the servant leadership of the fine men and women of F3 and FiA.  In Shakedown’s wise words, vote yes on proposition F3.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Hammers and Ales this Saturday

  • The Freaks Come Out at 0530

    17 Goblins rose from the grave for a howling Halloween beatdown.  EF planted the Flag.  Here’s how it went down.

    SLAUGTER Starter Burpees x 20

    Mosey to circle next to Carillon

    Circle of PAIN (IC)

    • Merkins
    • Wide Grip Merkins
    • Diamond Merkins
    • Chuck Norris Knerkins
    • Hand Release Merkins
    • Shoulder Tap Merkins
    • SSHs

    BERMUDA TRIANGLE BEAST – Lt. Dans, Crabcakes, Imperial Squat Walkers (Bernie uphill round 1 and 3)

    Cut the head off the Beast and mosey to the cage

    HANG MAN

    • Overhand Hang Chin Over Bar
    • Hanging Heals to HELL
    • Underhand Hang Chin Over Bar
    • Hanging Heals to HELL

    Mosey back to Flag

    DEATH by Burpee – 6,7, 8, 9, 10

    DYING Cockroaches IC

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC loves a good theme and also happens to love Halloween, perfect time for a Q.  If any of the PAX was actually in costume YHC overlooked and apologizes.  Lots of terrifying fun was planned from Zombie chases to a FrankenLindsay, but the Beast put up a hard 20-minute fight and there wasn’t enough time.  Alas, Halloween comes again next year.  Great to see Saabski back out at a bootcamp.  Hope everything is good.  YHC generally prefers action and comedy but a good scare this time of year is fun.  Throw out your favorite scare in the comments.  YHC’s favorites are Silence of the Lambs and Seven.  What you guys got?  If YHC knocks on your door this evening Snickers and Skittles are great, but IPAs and Stouts are even better.  Happy Halloween!

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Ghost Flag

    Bear Creek

    Hammers and Ales

    Merkin Challenge

  • EF’s Playroom

    4 strong converged upon the pre-fartsack PM gloom at Punisher for a beautiful October beatdown.  EF planted the Flag.  Here’s how it went down.

    Short mosey to front field

    COP (IC)

    • Copperhead Squats
    • Arm Circles
    • SSHs
    • Imperial Walkers
    • Merkins
    • Mountain Climbers
    • LBCs

    Mosey to Parking Lot

    • Sprint 1/3, Mosey 2/3
    • Sprint 2/3, Mosey 1/3
    • Sprint 3/3

    Mosey to Picnic Tables

    • 11s – Dips and Box Jumps

    Mosey to Blacktop to Find EF’s Playroom Full of Toys

    Conveyor Belt

    • PAX 1 – Sledgehammer Tire Slams
    • PAX 2 – Burpees
    • PAX 3 – Jump Rope
    • PAX 4 – Dribble Down Court –> Make a Lay Up

    Repeato Twice More (Free Throw, Lay Up and Free Throw)

    Mosey to Bus Loop

    Ark Loader

    • Bear Crawl
    • Duck Walk
    • Crab Walk

    Reverso

    • Crawl Bear
    • Polar Bear
    • Bunny Hop

    Mosey to Front of School

    Partner 1 Exercise/ Partner 2 Run to Far Tree and Back

    • Wall Climbs
    • Flutter Kicks
    • People’s Chair
    • Box Cutters

    Mosey to VSF

    Mary

    • Partner Dying Cockroaches 3×20

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    A long five morning absence from the gloom had YHC chomping at the bit for a beatdown and some F3 brotherhood.  Afternoon check of the Q sheet showed no official Chum Q, let’s give him the night off.  YHC couldn’t have asked for better Sunny and 70 F3 RVA weather.  Offshore once again reminded YHC that he’s faster.  Chum smoked the PAX in 11s, and Kru slings a sledgehammer like he’s been laying train tracks all his life.  Wilson’s partner dying cockroaches seemed to be a hit.  As always, YHC appreciates the chance to lead.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    CSAUP October 20th

     

  • Maybe Do Some Legs Now?

    Five Goliaths from far and wide arrived at Twin Team to find no Q and no locals.  No problem, here’s how it went down.

    THANG

    EF HUTTON Q

    Mosey to field behind school

    COP Greatest Hits – SSHs, IWs, Helicopters, Arm Circles, Merkins, Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey to hillside

    1 Booyah Merkin at bottom, Bernie Uphill, 2 Booyah Merkins, Run Downhill, 3, Bernie….10 Booyah Merkins (single count)

    Mosey to baseball field

    Whatchamacallits w/ audible to 8

    TOBIT Q

    Mosey to bus loop

    Tree Line Escalator (Add a tree and an exercise each round, repeat exercises in reverso)

    1 Burpee, 2 2ct Lunges, 3 Freddie Mercurys, 4 Squats, 5 Merkins

    LOOSE GOOSE Q

    Mosey back to field behind school

    Ark Loader – Bear Crawl, Flamingo Walk, Crab Walk Backward, Bunny Hop, Crab Walk Forward, Duck Walk

    Plankorama After Each Animal

    HANDSHAKE Q

    Mosey to playground

    4 Sets of 8 Pull-ups

    Mosey back to VSF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC awoke several times throughout the night with thoughts of a hot potato Q running through his head.  With that, a perfect time to drop some whatchamacallits on unsuspecting victims.  Unfortunately, Handshake knew what was coming and YHC didn’t get to enjoy seeing the PAX turn from laughter to horror.  Goose told a story from a former life with paid personal trainers where movements such as the whatchamacallits with a heavier rep followed by lighter reps in higher volume suck blood into the muscle causing it to grow quickly.  YHC thinks there’s probably a great Saab joke about blood, sucking, and muscles growing quickly in there.  After the shoulder destruction, YHC tossed to Tobit with the prompt, maybe do some legs now?  Solid work by all, great to be back at Twin Team and always a pleasure to fight the good fight with such high-quality men.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    There are a couple of openings in F3RVA Fantasy Football.  Contact EF Hutton if interested.

    Probably something YHC is forgetting.