Author: Dr Tryhard

  • MOIST MADNESS

    The tepid NoToll gloom welcomed eight veteran F3 contestants to play the game “Guess That Wetness – Rain, Sweat, or Tears?” Here’s how everyone won a participation trophy:

    The THANG:

    Mosey to Field for COP #1:

    • Welcome & F3 Disclaimer
    • Nancy Kerrigans x10 Each Side IC
    • Hairy Rockettes x10 IC
    • The Opus x10 IC
    • Crab Cakes x10 IC
    • Dying Quixotes x10 IC
    • Rosalita Whip x10 IC
    • No Cheat Merkins x10 IC

    Mosey Lap around Field, then COP #2:

    • Hardywood-Approved Arm Circles:
    • Assume T-plank with Rt arm out for x15 arm circles IC, roll to Six for x15 Chinook Flutter Kicks IC, roll to T-plank with Left arm out for x15 arm circles, roll to Six for x15 IC Chinook Flutter Kicks
    • Repeato x2 more Rounds IC 

    Mosey Lap around Field, then COP #3:

    • Wheelbarrow 4-Corners: 
    • Partner up and alternate wheelbarrows to circumnavigate half the soccer field, stopping to complete the following at each corner:
    • Corner 1 – x25 WWII
    • Corner 2 – x50 B-Dippers (single count)
    • Corner 3 – x75 Monkey Humpers
    • Corner 4 – x100 PLT’s (x50 Each)
    • Plankorama for the SIX

    Mosey Lap around Field, then COP #4:

    • 4×4-icides (width of Field):
    • Suicides with x3 4×4’s each time you hit the baseline (each 4×4 Burpee has x4 Merkins & x4 Mountain Climbers)
    • AlGore for the SIX

    Mosey Lap around Field, then COP #5:

    • Not-So-Lazy Boys:  
    • Sitting, legs straight, arms crossed, alternate leaning back & hold, rotating Right & hold, rotating Left & hold

    Mosey BTTF for COT:

    • Counterama # 8
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • YHC took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Today’s crew was an all-star team, rockin a solid DTH suckorama while embracing the challenge of whatever inclement wetness God might provide. WAY TO POST FELLAS!!! Special thanks today to DOUBLEMINT who faithfully kept count through all the Cadence Pain. I appreciate you man! Prayers go out to all the fartsackers who may well experience a day full of woulda-coulda-regret. You can post for a make-up DTH playdate on Thursday at the Forge and Saturday at Dogpile. SYITG!

  • Hardwood in the Deep South

    YHC’s arrival was met with the empty chill of a Timberwolf gloom devoid of life. (YHC’s first Timberwolf experience yielded two other summer tourists who had equal inexperience with the Twolf…so YHC’s expectations had been set low.)  But before loneliness had the chance to settle in, a veritable stream of headlights broke through the gloom, and a dozen hearty SOJ men brought out the 70-degree sunshine to warm the cockles of YHC’s heart. There were in fact so many more men than YHC expected, that the original plan of Cabers AND Bricks was spontaneously adjusted to a Caber-only workout. (YHC will remember to just bring all the bricks next time). With the humor of Cooper taking a massive dump in front of the headlights, the PAX shouldered their cabers and proceeded to get fit:

    The THANG:

    Mosey to the Basketball Court for COP #1:

    • Caber Hops x30 IC (like SSH but with feet alternating steps on caber)
    • DQ’s x10 IC
    • Russian Soldiers holding cabers x15 IC
    • Caber Curls x10 IC
    • Freddie M’s x20 IC
    • WWII x20 IC
    • Hallelujah Flutters x20 IC
    • Wilson’s & Fuddski
    • CDD x15 IC

    Mosey to the Grass Island for COP #2:

    • CABER 1-2-3:
    • x100 Derkins – Partner 1 x10 while Partner 2 planks w feet in caber
    • x200 LBC – P1 x20 w Caber end on chest while P2 on Six holds other end up with arms fully extended
    • x300 Goblet Squats – P1 x25 while P2 holds other end in low squat
    • Plank for the SIX

    Mosey to the Track for COP #3:

    • En route to track, partners shoulder carry caber and complete x5 overhead press every 30 yards
    • x50 Squat Thrust (caber standing on end rocked back and forth between squatting partners)
    • Partners alternate Bearcrawl with Lunges holding caber (x20 yards each)
    • Partners alternate Carioka with Lunges holding caber (x20 yards each)
    • Two Sets of x25 PLT’s each
    • End Curve – Partners alternate Crabwalk with dragging caber backwards
    • Final 75 yard Stretch – Partners alternate x10 Burpees with Lunge walking carrying caber

    Mosey BTTF for COT:

    • Counterama # 12
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • YHC took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Misery loves company and the first thing everyone said after seeing the cabers was “where’s Wilson?!” …apparently his foresight is spot on. Great mumble chatter this morning and even some of the men broke out in song while caber carrying! Pretty sure DK was the ringleader on that number. YHC usually has the workout well thought out ahead of time, but without enough bricks, improvisation was required – it’s always a challenge to come up with a smooth workout on the fly – appreciate the PAX rolling with it today, and Doozie’s most excellent suggestion for the closing Burpee tradeoff. SYITG!

  • Groaning for “The Hoedown”

    The Tuckahoe gloom welcomed nine endorphin pimps this morning to the latest DTH sweat-rave. Here’s what sunny and seventy felt like ripping through their veins:

    The THANG:

    Mosey to Shovel Flag for COP #1:

    • Welcome & F3 Disclaimer
    • DQ’s x10 IC
    • Imp.Walkers x10 IC
    • HuRpees (Hand-Release Burpees) x10 IC
    • Crab Cakes x10 IC
    • DTH’s x14? IC (…a few extra provided in absence of PAX counting…)

    Mosey to upper field for COP #2:

    • TRIPLE CHECK:
    • P1 & P2 – PLT’s
    • P3 – runs across field to complete 10 pull-ups, then returns to switch

    Mosey down to Bottom Wall for COP #3:

    • “Dirty HookUp” x20 IC (plank facing wall, place each hand up on wall, then bring them back down, 4ct, alternate hand order half-way through)
    • People’s Chair with variable arms
    • Donkey Kick-Offs (Counting up by x5 reps per set with 5 seconds of rest with feet on wall between sets …ascended to x20 DK’s)
    • People’s Chair with variable arms
    • Hip Slappers x10 IC (BTTW with alternating hip slaps, 4ct)
    • People’s Chair with variable arms
    • THE HOEDOWN x10 IC (spontaneous idea for 4-ct routine while sitting, reaching down to slap feet, followed by reaching up to slap wall above head)
    • Chicken Peckers x20 IC

    Mosey to Blacktop for COP #4:

    • BEARMUDA TRIANGLE:
    • Round 1 – x10 Burpees ea corner
    • ABC’s for the SIX
    • Round 2 – x10 BallDippers (2-ct)
    • Lt Dan’s for the SIX
    • Round 3 – x10 WWII’s
    • Dying Quixotes for the SIX
    • Round 4 – x10 Merkins (dealer’s choice)
    • Variable Plankorama (Holding 3”, Pickle Pounders, etc)

    Mosey BTTF:

    • Slow to Fast Freddie M’s x20 IC

    COT:

    • Counterama # 9
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • YHC took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Oh man, was the pain train in town today or what!? Hitchhiker’s perpetual groaning during the wallerama was epic. And look, now you Tuckahoe guys have your very own DTH original exercise to repeato with pride…or perhaps that was the first and only time “The Hoedown” will be seen at Hoedown… Thanks for putting in the hard work today gents – makes YHC work all the harder to lead from the front. SYITG!

  • Return of the White Stallion

    Eight veteran warriors of the gloom chose the narrow path once again this morning, posting to Mary for the sure glory of a DTH beatdown. With grim and knowing smiles, the PAX paired up and accepted oaken cabers from their Q. What follows is how these brave men squashed the Temptation of the Flesh:

    The THANG:

    Mosey to Grassy Area for COP #1:

    • Welcome & F3 Disclaimer
    • Caber Hops x20 IC (like SSH but with feet alternating steps on caber)
    • DQ’s x10 IC
    • Incline M on Caber x10 IC

    Mosey to the BlackTop for COP #2:

    • CABER 1-2-3:
    • x100 Derkins – Partner 1 x10 while Partner 2 planks w feet in caber
    • x200 LBC – P1 x20 w Caber end on chest while P2 on Six holds other end up with arms fully extended
    • x300 Goblet Squats – P1 x25 while P2 holds other end in low squat
    • Stretch out with a few Opus reps

    Shoulder cabers and mosey over to Field for COP #3:

    • CABEAST: (x6 Reps at each x6 stops)
    • Round 1 – Overhead Press, Alt Shoulder
    • Round 2 – Caber Curls
    • Round 3 – Unbroken Squats
    • Round 4 – Little Baby Caber Crunches
    • Round 5 – Caber Squat Thrusts 
    • Round 6 – CaBURPS – incline merkin on Caber at bottom, caber press over head at top (only 3/6 stops completed due to time)

    Mosey BTTF for COT:

    • Rosalita Whip x10 IC
    • Counterama # 8
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • YHC took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Holy Quadsmokoley! YHC’s legs feel like rubber. Today we celebrated the return of YHC’s caber-carrier, a white Silverado that came second hand to YHC with the nickname “White Stallion”. Of course Splinter was offended that any OTHER machine could possibly bear that name. Yes Splinter, you are a stud. Way to work today fellas – keep chasing that dream! 

  • The New and Improved DTH ShakeWeight Rain Dance

    The THANG:

    The NoToll gloom welcomed 15 feather-clad indigenous Richmond natives to a Rainmaking Pow Wow. The clock struck 0530 and YHC directed the PAX to each collect two Mother Earth shakeweights (bricks) from the DTH mobile. Here’s how those finely feathered gloom warriors danced a downpour into existence:

    Mosey to the parking lot for COP #1:

    • Welcome & F3 Disclaimer
    • Bricks in each hand for the following:
    • Don Brickotes x10 IC
    • Russian Brick Soldiers x10 IC
    • Brick Herpees x10 IC
    • LBC + Bricks on Chest x10 IC
    • Flutters + Hallelujah Bricks x10 IC

    Mosey to Field #1 for COP #2:

    • Four Corners with Shakeweights in Hand:
    • x10 Burpees
    • x20 WWII
    • x30 Squats + Overhead Presses
    • x40 AmHammers

    Line up for COP #3:

    • TWIN TOWER OF TRUST:
    • Two lines of facing PAX holding bricks out at eye level between
    • Last man bear crawls under the brick archway to the front, with each man at the back following suit
    • PAX Traverse Field in this manner

    COP #4 = REVERSO FOUR CORNERS!

    Mosey back to Parking Lot for COP #5:

    • Partner Up:
    • P1 starts Polar Bearing with Bricks in hand around Lot while P2 runs ahead around lot carrying their own pair of Mother Earth Shakeweights
    • Upon reaching partner, switch, and continue alternating until Polar Bears have circumnavigated the Lot
    • Front runners go back for the SIX with Lunging to final corner
    • RAIN DANCE SUCCESS!!! …Commence Downpour…

    Mosey BTTF for MARY:

    • Brick-Gripping Arm Circles IC, x5 Small Ea Way, x5 Large Ea Way 
    • Dying Brickotes x10 IC
    • Imperial Squat Walkers, Hallelujah Bricks Overhead, x10 IC
    • Brick Merkins x10 IC

    COT:

    • Counterama # 15
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • YHC took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Now THAT was fun! YHC’s great white Silverado is getting some TLC in the shop (hence a scarcity on Caber fun recently), but the M’s 4-Runner worked just fine for hauling 4 score Mother Earth Shakeweights! Where’s Hardywood when you need him?! I was all ready to do provocative Shakeweight Dance for him… Favorite moment of the morning is catching Draper in the act of using his manhood to hold the bricks during a little AlGore-Brick-orama. “His penis has arms!” …?… Next time YHC is gonna have to come up with a “Aint got no thumbs” exercise (same idea as Lt Dans), since holding bricks for 45min apparently is a major thumb muscle burn. Thx to Doozie for being YHC’s timekeeper for the AM. Appreciate all you guys coming out in the warm rain to join me in this madness we live so much. SYITG!

  • Blueberry Breakfast for Noobs

    The THANG:

    Two vets and two noobs posted to Dirt Church this morning…but an hour earlier than the usual PAX “winter schedule” which apparently starts at 9… no problem, with an inexperienced DTH and an FNG to boot, an “easier” route was chosen. 

    Brief COP #1 in the Parking Lot:

    • Welcome & F3 Disclaimer
    • Don Quixotes x10 IC (Wilson-speed, as requested by our Whore Daddy Flange)

    Mount up and ride to COP #2:

    • Warmerama with Gateway 1

    Mosey of to COP #3 

    • Blueberry Hill – Down & Up
    • Total of 5 miles
    • Green level Difficulty

    Extra time = extra laps on the Gateway, ensuring all obstacles attempted and overcome

    BTTF (Parking Lot) for COT:

    • Counterama # 4
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • DRAPER took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • YHC volunteered to write up the Backblast to cap off our Corporate Challenge week. Draper admirably led the charge this morning, not only bringing an awesome FNG (Hospital name Chris Buckley), but also popping DTH’s F3-Mtn-Bike cherry. YHC will be back! YHC also thanks Flange for the use of his spare bike (and the carpool to & from – great times catching up bro!), and thanks to DD for lending a helmet. Today’s FNG has been a headlock project of Draper’s for a while now, but the man REALLY enjoyed this morning’s F1/F2 so looks like we’ll be seeing more of him. His nickname is derived from his hobby of building & racing Lemon cars. Thanks again for leading us Draper – great Q bro! 

  • Gettin Wet with DTH

    After many inches of rain, a literal Creek flowed through the AO to challenge the aquatic finesse of seven fine gloom warriors. Here’s how YHC ensured each man embraced the suck:

    The THANG:

    Mosey around Parking Lot for COP #1:

    • Welcome & F3 Disclaimer
    • Nancy Kerrigans x10 Each Side IC
    • The Opus x10 IC
    • Crab Cakes x10 IC
    • Dying Quixotes x10 IC
    • Rosalita Whip x10 IC
    • Werkins, Alt Leg Up, x10 Each Side IC

    Mosey to Swing Set for COP #2:

    • TRIPLE CHECK:
    • P1 – Swing Pumps (Inverted Gas Pumps [Reverse Crunches], Planking with legs on swing)
    • P2 – Captain Thor’s (Ascending)
    • P3 – Run around track, Bernie sanders half the lap, return to swings & switch

    Mosey to Track for COP #3:

    • OLD 100 – Reps count down by 10 from 100 with mosey around the track between sets:
    • Partner up for x100 PLT’s
    • x90 LBC’s
    • x80 SSH’s
    • x70 Monkey Humpers
    • x60 Am Hammers (2-ct)
    • Partner up for x50 Squerkins
    • x40 Heels to Heaven
    • x30 Lunges (x15 ea leg)
    • x20 WWII
    • x10 Burpees

    Mosey BTTF for COT:

    • Counterama # 7
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • YHC took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Day 5 of Corporate Challenge under the belt, and what a GREAT way to start the day! YHC can always rely on most excellent mumble chatter with the Northern PAX…let’s just say what’s said in the Gloom should stay in the Gloom… strong work fellas grinding out the COP’s! Appreciated having Hardywood’s support and camaraderie for our Clown Car up North – always a pleasure thinking deep things with you my friend. Next up Double Dip Bootcamps tomorrow. SYITG boyz!

  • Double Mint can Handle Two Men…

    Eleven crusaders seeking the Answer traveled from near and far to the one and only Source of Truth. The Question sought by all was to know Double Mint’s superpower. Here’s how we found out:

    The THANG:

    Mosey to Side Field for COP #1:

    • Welcome & F3 Disclaimer
    • SSH’s x20 IC
    • DQ’s x10 IC
    • Hurpees (Hand-Release Burpees) x10 IC
    • Crab Cakes x10 IC
    • Dying Quixotes x10 IC
    • DR.W’s x10 IC

    Mosey to Bleachers for COP #2:

    • Partner Up for x3 Sets of:
    • x20 Box Jumps
    • Run to Middle of field for x20 PLT’s
    • Run back to bleachers for x20 Dips
    • NOTE: What does the 11th man do for PLT’s?!

    Mosey to Football Field for COP #3:

    • ROUTE 66 – Sequential reps down Field stopping every 10 yards (including end zones for x11 stops total = x66 reps per round) …Rounds included: 
    • Lt Dan’s
    • CDD’s
    • Heels to Heaven
    • Monkey Humpers
    • DiveBomber Merkins
    • Corkscrews
    • Copperhead Squats

    Mosey BTTF for COT:

    • Counterama # 11
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • YHC took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • The Answer – the 11th man finds Double Mint, who can handle two men’s appendages at the same time! YHC was the 11th man, and Double Mint stepped up to ensure no man was left behind… thanks for a great time fellas. Now that we’ve all got Hurpees, we can share it around with the rest of the RVA PAX. SYITG! 

  • Pre-VQ Potato

    The sun was shining bright over Quioccasin Middle as six men of greatness assembled to receive a beatdown. YHC had noted the Q sheet empty, so a hot potato was called and every man shared a turn on the giving end of the beatdown. 

    The THANG:

    DR TRYHARD:

    • Moseyrama with variable warmerama around track to COP #1:
    • MORNING CALL at the Pull-up Bar – each pax takes a turn cranking out 5 pull-ups while the planking PAX perform a merkin for each pull-up completed. Six men = 30 Merkins.

    PROBATION:

    • Mosey to bleachers
    • Dips x20 one-count
    • Merkins x10 IC

    HANDSHAKE:

    • Mosey to bus loop for Triple Check
    • Flutters, Windshield Wipers (Kimchi Twists), and 3rd man sprints to end to complete x5 Merkins and sprints back

    LINKED IN:

    • Partner up and complete x2 Rounds:
    • Partner 1 Donkey Kicks
    • P2 Suicides

    DON DRAPER:

    • Mosey a little way around the school
    • Stop for People’s Chair with painful variations
    • Mosey to Upper Courts for 4 Corners
    • x10 JumpSquats, x20 BallDippers, x30 Squats, x40 Lunges EACH LEG 
    • Mosey to grassy hill and take turns with a Bernie Sanders up hill while PAX plankorama’s
    • Mosey over to schools’ back steps for two minutes of rapid fire stair stepping or box jumps

    LIGHTHOUSE:

    • Mosey to handicap rails and bearcrawl from bottom to top, then plank walk with hands and feet on top rails from top to bottom …x2 rounds

    PROBATION – Round Two:

    • Mosey to grassy hill 
    • Round 1 – Bear crawl from bottom to top & complete x6 burpees
    • Round 2 – Crabwalk up & x6 Burpees
    • Round 3 – Polarbear up & hands-up Flutter kicks x20 IC

    Mosey BTTF for COT:

    • Counterama # 6
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • DON DRAPER took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Day 2 of the Corporate Challenge brought YHC and Draper to HBR this AM, only to discover no Q on the books. NO PROBLEM! Great opportunity to give a couple of the newer guys the chance to lead. WELL DONE Probation and Linked In. We’ll be looking for your VQ’s sometime soon. And of course Draper just HAD to wreck our quads for the rest of the week…thanks a LOT bro. Keep posting fellas, and keep headlocking your coworkers and neighbors – they need this!!!

  • Shakira has nothin on Swirly!

    The Batteau gloom accepted resumes from seven wanna-be Shakira back-up dancers this morning. Wearing a hot pink leopard print spandex g-string unitard, Flatline stole the show, but despite great efforts by all to flawlessly pull off the following routines, they were saddened to learn the absentee Hardywood had already won the coveted position with a mail-in VHS shakeweight snuff film produced by his side-kick Houdini (…or is he gonna stick with Snuff…?). 

    The THANG:

    Moseyrama around Stone House a couple times then stop for COP #1:

    • Clock Lunges x2 Rounds IC
    • The Opus x10 IC
    • Dying Quixotes x10 IC (DQ’s on your Six)
    • Oblique Crunch x10 Each Side IC
    • DTH’s x10 IC
    • Surfer Merkins x10 OYO (Jump 360 degrees, drop for merkin, recover)

    Mosey to the Grassy Hills for COP #2:

    • Booyah Merkin Ladder – Partner up, complete 10 Booyah Merkins, P1 runs access valley & back while P2 remains for Marionettes, complete 9 Booyah Merkins, P2 runs & P1 remains, etc. down to 1 Booyah Merkin. BOOYAH! 

    Mosey down to Lake for COP #3

    • Stop at trail wall for x20 Dips IC and x10 Incline Merkins IC
    • En route, Bataan Death March – Indian style, PAX lunge while last man Burpees x3
    • Once at lake, start DMC Mosey – Stop at each light post, alternating x10 reps of Diamond Merkins, x15 Merkins, x20 CDD’s 
    • ABC’s in the Bowl for the SIX

    Mosey BTTF for COP #4:

    • Plank Compass – feet remain while hands plank walk X degrees in whichever direction Q calls, plus x5 merkins between each new direction
    • Rosalita Whip x10 IC
    • APD’s x20 IC
    • Hands-up High Flutters x20 IC
    • Hands-under-tail Low Flutters x20 IC
    • Freddie M’s x20 IC
    • Wilson’s Stretch
    • Plank & drop to hold 3” …x3 sets of counting down 10-1

    COT:

    • Counterama # 7
    • Namerama
    • Announcerama (see Comments)
    • DRAPER took us out in Prayer

    NMS:

    • Good times as always with the Batteau boys, and awesome having Flatty back in the gloom! Had the workout all ready for my inadvertent fartsacking last Monday, so felt right making up for it this week. Good positive feedback on the all-new-DTH-original “Dying Quixotes” …YHC will keep them included with future Q’s. Glad to have Draper with me this week to complete a standard version Corporate Challenge. Thanks for leading us out in prayer today bro!