Author: Last Call

  • Four Come Early

    A quartet of brogi veterans, including 1 summer traveler, rose 30 minutes before others to limber themselves prior to the marathon beatdown by Splinter. Plenty of groans and heavy breathing ensued on the front porch of the church. Areas of emphasis included hips, hamstrings, shoulders, glutes and others. Extended shavasana led to a brief slumber by YHC. Enjoyed the morning fellas. Appreciate the company.

  • Not Really Sure What To Do

    A double digit turn out converged onto Betty Weaver to experience the heat and humidity of a fine summer SOJ day. Todays PAX was made up of some Twin Team regulars, not so regulars, summer tourists and newbies. Kettlebells was the primitive plan but with Twin Team virgin in the group, an audible was called for. Here is how I remember things going down.

    Everyone pull out your weighted handleballs or light blocks and stash them in a group to be played with later. Short mosey to the base of Twin Team Hill for introductions, disclaimers and warm ups that consisted of SSH’s, Helis, DQ’s, Dead Man Hang, Heels to Heaven, Freddie Mercuries and Dying Cockroaches.

    With everyone primed and ready, lets get up the hill. 5 merkins at each driveway on the way up. 5 squats on the way down. Toto enjoyed the modern amenities such as sidewalks and pavement that may or may not have been there during his earlier years. Heartrate up so lets get back to Betty Weaver, picking up McRib along the way.

    Circuit work with Kettlebells. 10 stations with variety of exercises while timer runs the loop. Exercises included swings, curls, tricep trusts, lawnmowers and block press with Handshakes lego block. Other exercises were included but you had to be there to know. 2 rounds were completed.

    Mosey to the blacktop at the rear of the school. Indigenous Peoples Chair against the building. 1 person bear crawls across the blacktop and runs to the end of the line. 2nd round, Bernie across and run back. Time was called so BTTVF.

    Numbers, Names, Announcements, Prayers. Toto took us out. Some decided another trip to Twin Team was needed, YHC was not one of them.

    Announcements: CSAUP a plenty. Twin Team 1/2 marathon or 10k coming in August if you like running hills. See a rabbit for details (Draper/Rosie/Tobit).

    Food Ruck across Salisbury and back in October. Some houses along the way could be rolled. See Orange Crush, Doublemint for details.

    Oyster Paying – Thursday lunch at Rusty Taco.

    Good luck to Hutton with the removal of a tree off his house.

    NMS: YHC had no clue how to do a dedicated Kettlebell workout. Improvisation was the word of the day. Great turn out this morning with mumble chatter strong. Great to see Handshake and Hutton cross the river along with Toto’s 1st trip back to Twin Team since his adolescent years. Doublemint has been cleared for full contact and is coming after the Pickleball crown. Thank you fellas for showing up. Enjoy the weekend.

  • Come for the Croquet, Stay for the Corn

    A trio of trios emerged from the swampy gloom to see what was in store at The Forge. Rumors were abound for a variety of cultured games including Croquet, Red Rover and Duck Duck Goose. YHC would have no such shenanigans on his watch. Here is what really occurred as far as I can tell.

    Mosey down to the turnabout. On the way stopping at each light for 5 merkins to get the blood pumping. Introductions, disclaimers and salutations followed by warm ups that included SSH’s, Arm Circles, Dead Man Hang, Jazzercise, Heels to Heaven, LBC’s and Suzanne Summers. All seems good in the world, let us begin.

    Perfect conditions for a triple check. Mosey over to the visiting locker room wall. Donkey Kicks, Hoedowns while timer runs to the driveway and returns.

    Back to the base of the sac for 11’s. 10 jump squats, 1 WWII at the 1st lightpole, 9/2 at the 2nd…..Plank for the 6 at the final light pole.

    Mosey to the ticket booth. Unfortunately no rear entry access to the fields this morning, so we modify. Triple Check it is. Dips, American Hammers, timer runs up the stairs and around.

    Slow walk up the stairs then partner up for love hill w/o the hill. Bear Crawl, Lunge, Broad Jump. Partner runs to the flag poles and returns. Carpenter won the partner challenge as Snuff was to the flag poles before many of the running PAX.

    BTTF for merkin ring of fire. Time still on the clock for a brief Shavasana to slow the heart beat and breathing. Numbers, Names Announcements, Prayers. YHC took us out.

    Announcements: Oysters Paying: Lunch next Thursday. McRib is jamming tonight at Hurleys Tavern.

    Prayers: Snuffs friend (and DTH’s neighbor) has some serious health concerns. Take care of yourself fellas. Listen to your check engine light.

    NMS: Great numbers for the Forge this morning. YHC tried to lead an extended version of SSH in honor of Carpenter’s return but did not have the endurance. Carpenter is really growing the New Jersey F3 chapter. Hopefully they will find a challenger for Hardywoods 100,000 merkins in a month, Good luck. Good to see Opus and Oyster punch their summer tour passports. Mumble chatter is always strong with this group and always welcome on these sticky mornings. Great work this morning. Enjoy the corn.

  • Just in Time Broga

    2 Limber veterans emerged woke with the moon for some stretching before the strike of the silent assassin. Mosey over the church steps for a flat surface. According to the bats and stars, here is what occured.

    Emphasis this morning was on hips, shoulders and legs. Shavasana was elongated and enjoyable. Finished up at the onset of the sprinklers. Perfect timing.

  • Plethora of Sweat

    Dusty Bottoms, Lucky Day and Ned Needlelander rose early to prune the hedges of many small villages. Humidity was in the forecast. Here is what was rumored to have occurred according to legend of El Juapo.

    5.30 struck, short mosey to the Henrico’s smallest park only to find a dewey mist on the meadows. Quick change of plans to the point of the triangle for introductions, disclaimers and warm ups that included Arm Circles, Invisible Jump Rope, SSH, Merkins, LBC’s, Jazzercise and others that YHC has forgotten.

    Ventrue down to the Devils taint with a Lindsay along the way at each intersection. Carolina Dry Docks and Flutterkicks were the chosen exercises.

    At the warm, humid center of the taint a triple check was called. Dancing Bears and WWII’s performed while timer runs to the 4th No Parking Sign initially, change after round 1 to the 3rd No Parking Sign for the final 2 rounds.

    Love Hill back up S. Ridge. Timer runs to Overlook and returns. Bearcrawl, Lunges and Broad Jumps performed by the mobile partner.

    Mosey back to the flag stopping at Country Squire and the triangle for 20 merkins and 20 squats each.

    BTTF for quick mary of American Hammers, APD’s and LBC’s

    Numbers Names, Announcements, Prayers, YHC took us out.

    Announcements: Pickleball is spreading like STD’s in a nursing home and is now taking of 45MoM tommorow. Bring your paddle and protection. Use caution.

    Safe travels to Kubota on his 2 week exodus.

    NMS: Lite crew today with summer tours, vacation and the temptation of the fart sack always strong. Good mumble chatter on this wandering Q. No air circulation at the taint as expected but still enjoyable. Thank you fellas for joining YHC today.

  • Let’s Audible

    3 strong and youthful Tuckahoians welcomed an a lost SOJ regular this morning without required medical assistance to reject the nursing home Pickleball trend that is sweeping the community. Here is what was rumored to have occurred according to Martha and Rupert.

    Short mosey over to the church employee lot for Introductions, disclaimers and warm ups that included Invisible Jumprope, DQ’s, Jazzercise, Imperial Walkers, LBC’s, Rosalitas and Dying Cockroaches. Asphalt seems to be coming up around the area of a certain PAX member. Lawsuits were discussed.

    Mosey to the rear parking lot for 11’s. Merkins and Lt. Dans were called running the parking lot long ways. After round 1, let’s audible to run across the parking lot width to help expedite this beatdown.

    Short mosey to the commoners parking lot of the church, grab a few coupons for a DORA. 50 Big Boy Situps, 100 Squats with coupon, 200 Chest Presses with Coupon. Timer runs the loop. After 2nd round, let’s audible from Big Boys to WWII’s. Return coupons to their protected location.

    Short mosey to Silverspring for Burpee Road. Burpee for every SUV along the route, Brocode Style. YHC was very forgiving on the SUV classification based on off-roading capabilities. BTTVF for few minutes of Broga.

    Numbers, Names, Announcements and Prayers. Kubota took us out as YHC had to get going this morning.

    NMS: Mondays are difficult, but the week always starts better with a Monday F3 beatdown. No better way to reject the fartsack then to Q. Numbers at Hoedown have been affected by the geriatric calling of Pickleball at Batteau. MumbleChatter is always strong with Kubota and Handshake, with Kubota fancing himself more of a rabbit then a Clydesdale these days. Handshake submitted his FOIA request to get the background on 1-800. Can’t wait to get him out to First Watch for some oversharing and the really good stories.

    Great work gents. Good way to start the week.

  • Well Endowed Dodgeball

    A quartet of early risers denied the temptation of the fartsack to enjoy the spirited elementary recess playground favorite of the past. According to the plethora of squirrels enjoying the various waste disposal facilities, here is what occured.

    Mosey to the parking lot for introductions, disclaimers and warm ups that included SSH’s, DQ’s, Ukrainian Soldiers, Cherry Pickers, Merkins, Dancing Bears, Hello Dollies and Dying Cockroaches. All is warm and good with the world, onwards to the plush, sprinkled turf.

    COP 1: Quarter Pounder: Start at the well saturated touchline. Run 25 yards – 25 merkins, return to the touch (Bernie if your nasty). Run 25 yard – 25 merkins, 50 yards – 50 LBC’s, return to the touch. 25 yard – 25 merkins, 50 yards – 50 LBC’s, 75 yards – 75 flutters (2 count), return to touch. 25 yard – 25 merkins, 50 yards – 50 LBC’s, 75 yards – 75 flutters, 100 yards – 100 monkey humpers, return to touch.

    COP 2: Mosey to the gate: Quadruple check. Timer runs to the water tower and back, Squats, Pole Smokers, Carolina Drydocks. 2 rounds.

    COP 3: Dodgeball: Short jaunt to the tennis courts. Teams of 2 for partner dodgeball. Must stay within the single tennis court unless retrieving a ball. Upon getting hit or someone catching your throw, victim runs around both courts with burpees at each corner. DTH and Dealer were the victors on this day. NTB was admirable in defeat with YHC hit multiple times.

    BTTVF: Numbers, Names, Announcements, Prayers, YHC took us out

    Announcements:

    • Kubota is leading Deliverance paddling session tomorrow. Bring your boat and your donation to the river gods. 5 am launch from Huguenot Flatwater.
    • DTH is leading Alamo on Monday, bringing an FNG with him.
    • No Toll will be at Huguenot Little League next Tuesday (6/27) for Gumbos Home Run Derby, 5.30 launch. Bangers and Mash are on the menu.

    Prayers for Dealers coworker who lost her daughter recently.

    NMS: Thank you for the fellows for joining me this morning in trying something new. Dodgeball was a good mix with plenty of burpees for YHC. Balls are sloppy with DTH finding an interesting way to carry his arsenal. Look to bring this back in the future. Thank you gents for playing along.

  • Swampy Sausage Party

    Four Strong Redwoods ended SOJ takeover week on a high. The return of NTB from his inaugural appearance at No Toll was a pleasant surprise. According to the stadium security camera footage, the following items occurred and will be recorded in the annals of history.

    Short mosey to the grassy knoll by the bus loop for standard disclaimer and warmups that included Invisible Jumprope, Jazzercise, Helis, Merkins, LBC’s and Freddie Mercurys. YHC miserably at recreating the Twin Team original Texas Tornado Titty Twister. Intent was there, execution was quite poor, will try to coordinate with Rosie to determine the details of this 12 count exercise. Onward we go

    COP 1: 4 corners at the blacktop – 10 Merkins, 20 WWII’s, 30 squats, 40 Monkey Humpers.

    Mosey down to the Swamp and onto the Stadium Bleachers.

    COP 2: DORA: Partner Up for 100 Elevated Merkins, 200 Dips, 300 Squats. Timer runs up and around the bleachers. Daylight is key on this decent.

    COP 3: Mosey down to the track for a quick lap. Stopping at each corner light pole where each PAX calls out an exercise. 20 reps of each. Burpees (for some reason), Broad Jumps, Lunges and APD’s were the selected exercises.

    COP 4: Exit the stadium and back to parking lot for LOVE Field. Timer runs to the end of the parking lot and back. Partner bear crawls/duck walks, lunges and Broad Jump Burpees.

    COP 5: Indigenous Pole Smokers: PAX grabs a pole and holds 6″ while end guy performs 5 pole smokers and leap frogs the others. Go to the end of the pole line.

    BTTVF for 3 quick burpees, Names, Numbers, Announcements, Prayers. YHC took us out

    NMS: Great way to finish SOJ takeover week. Good to see Chaplain at Twin Team after completing his World Tour with parachute in tow. Can’t wait to see this brought out at his next Q. Been a while since YHC has seen Greenbow. Always good mumble chatter before he heads out to India and now he is on the Q sheet for the Forge next week. Hope to see NTB after his initiation week. Great work by all.

    Dodgeball is planned for No Toll next week followed by Gumbo’s Home Run Derby on June 27th. Dingers, Dingers Everywhere.

    Happy Fathers Day weekend to all the boys at F3. Great brotherhood and really enjoy being a part of this group.

  • Shavasana Cut Short

    A triple of Brogi regulars laid out their embroidered blankets and mats to enjoy some predawn stretching and breathing exercises. Todays efforts concentrated on shoulders, hips, hammys and back. Moans were audible but enjoyed. Deep relaxation was cut short with incoming clown car for SOJ takeover week. Good thing Bodos was not driving. Great work gents. Hope Hutton gets a nap sometime today.

  • Prepping the Fields

    A duo of Brogi regulaars took to the River Road Baptist overflow lot in the predawn hours to get limber. YHC arrived a bit early to ensure the conditions were clean, dry and pine cone free for the proper broga technique to be administered. According to Senor Frog who patiently watched from the safety of his vehicle, this is what went down.

    Standard Broga positions with emphasis on shoulders, back, hamstrings, glutes. Pigeon is always a crowd favorite with some Warrior poses mixed in along with Childs pose and plenty of tributes to Mrs. Fudd and Wilson. Good discussion finished up with a quality shavasana. Thanks Hutton for joining.