Author: Upchuck

  • Tesla is Too Complicated

    1 early riser launched hard and fast. Temperatures were actually 70 and sunny. According to the Tesla YHC had rented, the following bodies of mass circled the car.

    Route – wanderlust. 45 minutes. Roam the hotel campus and surrounding neighborhood.

    BTTVSF. Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: YHC learned three things:

    1. Renting a Tesla should require a 5 minute lesson on how to operate the car.
    2. Yes, you can lock yourself out of a Tesla.
    3. It takes about 20 seconds to break into a Tesla without damaging it. YHC estimates $8 as the cost of the tools. DM me if you want a lesson.

  • Tool Time

    Twelve body sculpting craftsmen shook off the chill of a late February morning in time to answer the work bell for the latest edition of the Hoedown. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the guy breaking into the Third Church construction site, the following might have happened:

    Mosey across the school parking lot, stairs, and grass, then over Forest to the Third Church parking lot (but just left of the normal spot) for the COP.

    SSHs x50
    IW’s x20
    Dead Man Hang (with elbow grab)
    Fudd’s Wife
    Wilson’s Wife
    Pigeon right, pigeon left
    Fudd’s Wife
    LBC’s
    Reverse Crunches
    Flutter kicks
    HRMs x15

    Mosey across the front of Third Church, then right to the back parking lot / construction site. Climb fence. road.

    Dora. 50 merkins per man, 150 LBCs, and 200 SSHs.

    Circle up for some stretching. Fudd’s wife, then various leg stretching.

    Mosey to the Block Parking Lot. Three groups of four.

    1. Walk with block overhead.
    2. Air presses
    3. slow squats
    4. monkey humpers

    Rounds 2-3, modify to walk while doing overhead presses.

    Mosey to the Walgreen’s Parking Lot. Triple check. Run the building (“It’s a big building”), WWIIs, and Carolina Dry Docks. Time narrowed this to one round.

    Mosey back to the front of the school, then line up for an elephant walk (aka, bear crawl in a line).

    Mosey back to the horseshoe. 2 minutes left for a set of merkins at each traffic cone. Call it 10–20 slow merkins.

    COT – Numbers, names, and YHC took us out with a message about .

    NMS:

    Hitch makes some interesting noises.

    Bodo’s has a lot going on, but still has enough free time after running a parish, a family, and a construction company to start a vehicle salvage business. He’s looking for investors in the start up. Kudos to his daughters for making their donations. Let’s go!

    Last Call believes that Walgreens is a “big building.” YHC notes that LC finds no problem with running YHC’s cold butt 1.5 miles down River Road in the pitch dark from First Watch to Panorama.

    Billy Surf may not quite have Hutton’s speed on the bear crawl, but he definitely has the stamina. Nice work!

    Several guys are on the mend…or just still recovering from their Saturday night hangover, or both.

    Announcements:

    None mentioned, but YHC notes that some dudes are adding fake weights to their bodies and learning to “live like a Clydesdale.” YHC guesses this is what is meant by walking a few miles in another man’s shoes.

  • Partial Foods

    One wild and crazy dude hit the mean streets of Plantation for the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 55 70 and sunny. According to the semi-frozen Nile lizard monitoring the run, the following might have happened:

    Route: Circle, north, cross Peters, parking lot, Fudd, north again, past apartments, past temporary circus tents, Broward Blvd., reverso (minus the Fudd). Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS:

    “Where’s your little friend, snake man?” — Omar

  • NTB AWL

    One man waited, albeit very briefly, for a cherub to appear in the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the Doberman walker, the following might have happened:

    Northbound, Fudd, 58th street, reverso, BTTVSF. Call it 40 slow minutes.

    YHC has been on his feet teaching all week. How do full-time teachers do this? Respect.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

  • Nothing to Report

    One young whipper-snapper whipped out of the Fart Sack to take on a gift from Heaven – 55 and clear in south Florida. Ok, temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the person running the stop sign at Peters and the parking lot, the following might have happened.

    Route: North, parking lot loop 1, cross Peters, parking lot loop 2, further north, left at mall, pass the carnival set-up, bounce of Broward, and reverso BTTVSF. Number, name, quick chat with Omar, and a word of thanks.

    NMS: YHC has been all over this week, so good to shake off the cobwebs and get the juices flowing. A cool Florida morning is not common, so never a thing to waste.

  • It’s 4 O’Clock Somewhere

    One pushed off the lure of the afternoon nap sack (who doesn’t love conferences that end at 3 p.m.?) and ventured onto the sands of Marco Island. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the giant sand castle makers, the following might have happened:

    Southbound towards Cuba until YHC faced the point of No Return.

    Reverso.

    BTTVSF.

    NMS: YHC struggles with any workout or run after coffee time. Today was no different. Just a slog, albeit with conditions in the low 70s with pleasant cloud cover. Thank you for your sympathies. Even though this all happened within 1 vertical foot of actual sea level, somehow going North felt as though it was uphill the entire way.

    226 Shopping Days until BRR. Let’s go!!

  • No Cops, Except the Mall Cops

    One warrior of The Gloom ventured into the frigidity in the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny (well, 67 and sunny). According to the Mall Cop, the following might have happened:

    1. Industrial theft at the JC Penney’s, ‘cause that place doesn’t have enough business to justify a tractor trailer delivery at 05:00.

    2. Heavier than desirable dude ran past as part of 5 mile run. No unplanned rest stops.

    Number, name, and YHC said a little something-something to put the day into perspective.

    The Clinic hits the road next week. F3 Marco Island here we come…

  • I Q’d Because I Say I Q’d

    Seven saw the dawn at the latest edition of Sunday Funday. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the wave-less dog walker, the following might have happened.

    TYA – launch early, train hard, make progress.

    Saab – 6 or 9 on the roads

    Sippy, Offshore, Helix – full loop, Buttermilk to North Bank and back.

    UpChuck – out and back for four.

    Mr. Furley also made an appearance. Chest attire, per usual.

    Numbers, names, and general agreement on the beauty of the morning.

    ET’s continues to provide lessons in life and friendship as well as a living case study in how to run down a business slowly.

  • Return of The Clinic

    1 intrepid traveler returned for the first workout of 2024. 5:15 launch. Conditions were 70 and sunny. According to the security guard in the office parking lot, the following might have happened.

    Loop, across Peters, Fudd, back to run, north to Broward, reverso, rain showers, past the office, across Peters, and BTTVSF.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

  • Moon a Ring

    10 studs set forth earlier than you to scout the contours of sleepy Westham. Conditions remained sunny and 70. According to the Ring doorbell footage from Lockjaw’s house, the following might have happened:

    Mosey east on River, then north on Ridge, then into the parking lot, then out of the parking lot, and then back into the parking lot before circling up in the rear parking lot.

    COP:

    Scorpion kicks
    Reverse snow angels
    Hand release merkins
    WWIIs
    Flutter kicks
    SSHs
    Some other stuff

    Mosey to Pinetree for Touch-a-(Not Tree)

    Round 1: Eastbound, Touch a Car
    1st partner touches one car. Second partner, burpees. Flapjack.
    1st partner touches two cars. Second partner, merkins. Flapjack.
    1st partner touches three cars. Second partner, Virginia dry docks. Flapjack.

    Mosey to the other end of Pinetree.

    Round 2: Westbound, Touch a Recycling Can

    1st partner touches one can. Second partner, WWIIs. Flapjack.
    1st partner touches two cans. Second partner, snow angels. Flapjack.
    1st partner touches three cans. Second partner, hello dollies. Flapjack.

    Traveling COP, Past the Sell-By-Date. Westham, Lakewood, Hillsdale, Westham, and River.

    Houses with a coach light on: 3 merkins
    Houses with Christmas lights (still) on: 3 burpees
    Houses with sleeping PAX members: 10-15 SSHs, in cadence. Good morning to the Puckers and the Lockjaws

    Circle up, quick round of flutter kicks.

    Numbers, Names, and Kubota took us out.

    Announcements:

    Ruck-tastic training has started. Add to your holiday 15 with a backpack 30. Walk-a-thon with your mates. Sign up information all over Slack.

    BRR…never too early to create a personal a challenge for 2024.

    HoneyDo Challenge underway. Current stats posted on Big Data. HoneyDo in first; lots of guys tied for second. Handshake in last.