Author: Upchuck

  • BYOB (Bring Your Own Block)

    Eleven early risers picked up the mantle and posted for today’s edition of First Watch. Conditions were 70 and sunny. According to HoneyDo’s M (who posted to HER workout), the following likely happened:

    Mosey around the parking lot. 1 Loop. Circle up on South Westham.

    The COP, j-walking style:

    6 Burpees
    17 SSHs
    23 LBCs
    6 Don Quixotes
    17 Merkins (Kudos to Handshake for the guest cadence)
    23 APDs
    6 Imperial Walkers
    17 Dead Man Hang
    23 flutter kicks

    Mosey to pick up the blocks. Circle the parking lot, and meet up on the side of River Road.

    Pick a partner.

    Partner 1: Run to front of Church with the block. Return. On either crossing of the road, stop and do 3 block merkins.

    Partner 2: Rotate between 10 reps of Squat Thrusters and 10 curls. Begin griping about the blocks.

    Carry the block to the main church parking lot, stopping for 1 block burpee at each speed bump.

    Pick a different partner.

    The two partners coordinate (gasp!). 3 laps each.

    Partner 1: One lap without any block, one lap with only one block, and one lap with two blocks.

    Partner 2: Rotation of 6 burpees, 17 heels to Heaven, 23 flutter kicks.

    Mosey to the side of the Church for block WWIIs (in the designated WWII area).

    Slow mosey to put the blocks away and BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Gomer is looking for a Q for a HDHH next week. No Q would mean no HDHH.

    Bodo’s is apparently giving a public address today on the topic “Sin: good or bad?” Tune in to find out where Bodo’s stands.

    Monday evening should mean Punisher Happy Hour. Usually, Bingo Bar. YHC doesn’t know if this is happening.

    NMS: Splinter’s cat apparently was feeling achy today, so YHC jumped onto the Q Sheet for National “I’m in Control Day.” YHC knows that the PAX loves them some block work. And, since it is also Manatee Appreciation Day, what better represents a Manatee (terrible FNG name) than a concrete block?

    Programming Notes for Future Q’s: Squat thrusters are awful. Block burpees are not much better. And, Gomer has apparently completed the Russian Army’s Concrete Block Logistics Training Course. Sir Charles Foxtrot joined the PAX briefly.

    Hats off to Handshake for recognizing that today was about recklessly violating traffic laws.

    Hi to Erin, who posted.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • West of the People Who Charge Money to Work Out

    One PAX is all that was needed to put The Clinic into high gear. Temperatures were, again, actually 70 and sunny, or at least 70. According to the early morning smokers in front of the hotel, the following might have happened:

    Broward loop. 4.5 miles. Stay WEST of the people setting up kettle bells in the parking lot, and then do that again on the way back.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    NMS: Summer is coming soon to south Florida. Today might have been YHC’s last day of spring (i.e., super oppressive humidity likely returns next week). Glorious weather for a run.

  • If There Are No Turns, Will There Still Be Questions?

    11 two-leggers and one two-wheeler (yeah, RAMM Gears, we see you!) braved the heavy air and avoided the flooding on Groooooove to take in the ever-challenging routes that are an everyday part of the RAMM. Conditions were ever-constant at 70 and sunny. According to the woman reading her phone while driving and turning and nearly running over Bodo’s (VA Plate: 1 MOBJAK), the following likely happened:

    Route: Commonwealth. 45 minutes of Commonwealth. If you are not on Commonwealth, you have made a wrong turn.

    Marketing Distraction (the PAX saw through this): run a giant suicide on Commonwealth. Grove to Franklin to Grove to Wythe to Grove to Cutshaw to Grove (something like 4 miles). Repeat Grove to Franklin one more time (5) or two more times (6).

    Numbers, names, Marv was kind enough to take us out.

    Announcements and Prayer Requests:

    Ukraine. We are fortunate in the US that it is unlikely we will ever wake up to face the historical wrath of an autocrat with no moral limitations who runs a neighboring country with a large military and nuclear weapons. Ukraine does not have that luxury. Prayers for all of those who stand against aggression and wanton destruction, and further prayers for those whose lives are endangered as a result.

    Our pals are running this morning. Bro code. Not the West End, once-a-month bro-code. This is the it’s-only-two-hills-in-the-Grand-Canyon Bro Code. Good luck, fellas. The PAX are pulling for you.

    NMS:

    The PAX clearly, universally, and emphatically appreciated the simplicity of today’s route. Inspired by our “it’s only two hills” brethren, today’s route strove for simplicity: no hills, and only 3 turns, all 180 degrees. And, ever steadfast in their inquisitiveness, some sought to clarify, while others quickly realized that it was really just 45 minutes on Commonwealth. Nothing gets past the PAX.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Someone Call Security

    One PAX did it again and made The Clinic happen. Temps remained 70 and sunny. According to the security guard stalling the PAX member, this might have happened:

    5 miles. Out and back to Broward Blvd.

    NMS: mumbled to myself. Really.

  • The Birds Poop Here

    Fifteen rogue warriors creeped into The Gloom for the latest edition of The Punisher. Temperatures were disturbingly close to 70 and sunny. According to the unexpected Zing Fitter walking through our AO, the following quite possibly happened:

    Mosey through the TES walkways to the Third Church outdoor calisthenics lot for the COP:

    With 2 FNGs present, a complete, unabridged, autographed disclaimer was provided.

    7s – unannounced. 6 SSHs, 1 burpee (groan). 5-2 (louder groans), 4-3, 3-4, 2-5, 1-6.
    Ukrainian Soldiers
    DQ’s
    IWs
    Hillbillies
    Reverse crunches
    Flutter kicks

    Mosey to the Third Church front steps for Touch-a-Pole. Partner up. First partner performs a movement and touches 1 pole. Second partner performs an exercise. Next round, 2 poles. Then, 3 poles. Yes, different poles.

    Exercises were bear crawl and WWIIs. 2nd evolution, crab walk and flutter kicks.

    Mosey to the Third Church offices. Triple check.

    1st Partner: Loop around office. Stop at picnic table. Perform an exercise.
    2nd Partner: SSHs
    3rd Partner: box cutters

    Exercises at the table:
    Round 1: 10 derkins
    Round 2: 20 dips
    Round 3: 30 step ups or squats (note the bird poop)

    Scorpion kicks, both verted and inverted, to stretch at the end.

    Mosey to the TES parking lot for Hop-Skip-and-a-Jump:

    3 Hand release mercans at each arrow in the lot. Dealer’s choice of hop, skip, or jump between arrows.

    Mosey to the island for 1 minute of Mary. Flutter kicks and Rosalita’s.

    Numbers, names, Splinter took us out with a message.

    Announcements:

    The Punisher meets this evening at 6:00 p.m. in the parking lot at Bingo Beer for the 1st F. 2nd of is at 6:15. YHC guesses this will be on the patio.

    NMS:

    We welcomed to two new FNGs.

    Steve Moore lives on Westham (aka – the heart of F3RVA, castle house, 3 kids, son plays ball with Splinter). Clemson grad. We bounced around on a few names…and even after YHC told him we might go with Lancelot. That said, his neighbor and friend, Pucker, came in at the wire with the winning entry. Let’s all welcome, Farquaad (note the double-A). Note: if Farquaad wants to use “Lord” as a title, that’s approved.
    Ben Cox – neighbor of Offshore, 3 kids, volleyball player, realtor / architect. Lots of options, but let’s welcome Treanor (or “hyphen” Treanor), pronounced “Trainer.”

    FNGs did great today. YHC bets (and hopes) they will both be back.

    YHC also notes that someone has exceptional aim throwing wood chips.

  • Private memberships start at free

    One PAX came forth into the Gloom to take on the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were actually 70 and sunny. According to Mike, the office park rent a cop, here is what more or less happened:

    Run focused beat down today. Run 150 to 200 yards, perform a set of exercises. 10 reps per station. Exercises were Merkens, World War II’s, squats, flutter kicks. Total mileage 4.8.

    According to the Q, this was all done in 45 minutes. We don’t need no stinking watches.

    Numero, nombre, yo exito.

    NMS: Outfit has started classes in the parking lot. Membership start at $99.99 per month for a personalized workout. Private memberships are more but you get a one person work out. YHC has also started offering one person workouts at the low, low price of free.

  • Back Door

    One PAX scheduled an appointment and appeared for the latest edition of The Clinic. Temps were sunny and 70. According to the smokers in front of the hotel, the following happened:

    5 mile route to Broward, going out through the in door and back in through the outdoor. No raspberry berets were injured in the process.

    Name, number, YHC took himself out.

    NMS: Cold, SFLa style. Only 55.

  • Wrestle or Die

    One PAX less than energetically launched at the Clinic. Temps were actually 70 and sunny. According to the not handicap hotel employee who had a handicapped tag and parked in a handicapped space, heres what happened:

    YHC decides to do loops. about 1.5 miles per loop. 3 loops today.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    Announcements: Fudd is moving back to Westham. Super. Welcome home.

    NMS: Nada. Quiet day.

  • Can iPhones Spawn with Hotel Room Keys?

    One PAX threw off the lure of the Fart Sack to inaugurate, not for the first time, the AO now known as The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny (actually 64, but no complainers here). According to the people preparing to charge other people money for the privilege of working out in the Broward Mall parking lot, this is more or less what happened:

    Stretch and moan in the hotel parking lot. Short walk to get the blood flowing. Mosey 1/2 mile, then realize that office key has been left in the car.

    Footnote: YHC has a routine. Hotel room, elevator, car (drop hotel key, office key, iPhone, wallet, and mask in the car AND leave them under the driver’s seat). Handshake, remember that part. UNDER THE DRIVER’S SEAT. YHC has been meaning to carry his office key with him; to quote Splinter from years ago, “We have all been a little tied up at some point during a workout.”

    Route: Lake loop, cross Peters, office parking lot, past LaQuinta Hotel (no arrests in progress this morning), left on 78th/10th (north), left on Federated to Broward Blvd, and return the way YHC came…until…well, visions of Splinter telling YHC, “We have all been a little tied up at some point during a workout.” For 10 years, YHC has run around this area. Today was the first time YHC carried his office key fob. Building access, check. Clean facilities, check.

    Leave the office and BTTVSF.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    NMS:
    After the workout, YHC goes for coffee. To get there, YHC unlocked and opened the car door, reached UNDER THE DRIVER’S SEAT (Handshake, pay attention) and found a hotel key, his iPhone, wallet, mask, and ANOTHER iPhone. YHC supposes someone put their phone under the seat of their rental vehicle and then forgot the phone. Or, perhaps YHC’s iPhone and hotel key had some weird transmorfication. Unclear. The Clinic is never boring. YHC will keep the PAX informed regarding any pictures which may appear on said additional phone.

    Schedule update: The Clinic gathers regularly. Like DaVille, the day of the week changes from time to time. Many weeks, The Clinic happens on Wednesday’s at 5:30, sometimes 5, and occasionally 4:30. Sometimes, Tuesdays. Rarely Monday, though on Valentine’s / Galentine’s Day, the schedule calls for Monday. Almost never Friday. Thursdays are less rare, albeit not frequent. It has never met on a Saturday, nor on a Sunday. The precise start time is always roughly 5:30, though the Q does have some leeway to schedule according to local times, traditions, conditions, and decisions. Nonetheless, The Clinic meticulously starts on time every day it happens.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • DHL Delivers

    One PAX delivered himself up for physical redemption (from last night’s pizza dinner). Conditions were 70 and sunny. According to the security cameras in the DHL parking lot, the following might have happened:

    1/2 mile run to the parking area.

    COP:

    Standard stuff: SSHs, stretches, DQ’s, IW’s, HRMs, WWIIs.

    Lot Loops:

    DHL has a large parking lot (large = massive). Everyone works from home now, meaning open lot. YHC estimates 1/4 mile loop. Run the full loop then add 40 of an exercise at the end of the loop. Exercises were:

    WWIIs
    Flutter kicks
    Rosalita’s
    Heels to heaven
    Dolly’s
    HRMs (20)

    1/2 mile run back.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    Announcements:

    Ramps. Help build them. Sign up (See Slack). Questions – see Corned Beef.

    HDHH coming up south of south of the James.

    Monday, Feb 7, Punisher meets at Bingo Beer on Broad. 6 p.m. workout. 6:15 p.m. social.