Author: Upchuck

  • Gomer Doesn’t Like My Cadence

    8 pack animals blocked off their Saturday morning and picked up the challenge of the day. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the bhikkhuni demonstrating perfect form in the amphitheater, the following was accomplished:

    THE Circle of Pain:

    Mosey around the parking lot. Circle up on the far side of Faceplant’s car for:

    SSH’s x40 (too fast for Gomer)
    5 burpees
    Imperial Walkers x9 (too slow for Gomer)
    LBCs
    HRMs
    Box cutters
    Flutter kicks

    Mosey to the wooden posts along the road for Pole Smokers:

    One PAX performs 10 heels-to-Heaven
    Rest of PAX rotates through different exercises, which were:
    Hold 6 inches
    90 degrees
    Rosalita’s
    Hello Dolly
    Flutter kicks
    Probably a few others

    Mosey to the Traffic Circle, then onto the field between the Amphitheater and the Carillon. Find a light post. Find a green electrical device in the field. Run between them. Do 1 merkin at the start, and 10 WWIIs at the finish. Repeato until the PAX has done what we all call 11’s.

    Mosey to the Ha’ Penny Stage, grab a block, and get ready to rumble.

    Partner up.
    Pax 1: Murder bunnies
    Pax 2: 10 overhead presses, 10 block presses. Repeato until partner 1 returns.
    3 rounds

    Keep hold of that there block. Mosey about 100 feet. If YHC is queuin’, then Touch-a-Tree is likely brewin’. Surprisingly, very few questions.

    Partner 1: carry the block to 10 different trees.
    Partner 2: exercise-o-rama.

    Round 1: 10 trees, block presses
    Round 2: 8 trees, WWIIs with the block
    Round 3: 6 trees, who knows
    Round 4: 4 trees, curls 4 da girls
    Round 5: 2 tree, Burpees

    Replace the blocks.

    Mosey to the Amphitheater for 18’s

    17 squats
    1 incline merkin

    Up all 18 steps, or until time is called.

    Mosey back to the flag for 1 minute of Mary. Snow angels until time.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:
    Friday is the Bone Thugs 6, 8, or 9 miler, an Instant Classic. If you run on Fridays (Currahee, this means you), take a break from the normal and come on out to RAMM. Start whenever you need to finish your chosen distance at 6:15.
    Breaking Bread sign-ups for May-end of summer are now open.

    NMS:

    Today, YHC started with a tour of the parking lot. Faceplant, widely known for his solo land navigation skills already, noted that he has never been in this part of the AO. YHC is happy to show the PAX some new sights.

    Welcome back to Rounders, who recently returned to his family and F3RVA from a 9 month tour in Kuwait. YHC is always thankful for those who serve our country, and even more so when they leave their families for an extended period for the sun, surf, and humidity that is the Persian Gulf. Thank you and your family for your dedication – surely not an easy lift. The PAX offered to buy all-you-care-to-eat KFC and Taco Bell all week, but for some reason, Rounders declined. Hope to see you back soon!

    The PAX arrived at The Amphitheater today to find a human, a very physically fit female human wearing some sort of cloaking hoodie thing, doing easily the best form exercises YHC has seen in his almost 6 years with F3. Only those who post know.

    Happy birthday to Florence, whose birthday wish of a National Championship for FSU came true last year. Albeit, in women’s soccer. Chin up, my friend: Tom Brady un-retired. There is hope in central Florida.

    Find someone who needs help. Do something for that person.

    UpChuck spits the bit.


  • Not Your Normal Breakfast Club

    Tupacs showed for Breakfast Club. Temps were 70 and sunny, albeit surprisingly windy and chilly. According to the Lime Riders who apparently checked into the hospital en masse, the following quite possibly happened:

    Route: not the normal route. 1.6 miles or so. Only those who post know. No lakes or geese were harmed in the process.

    Return route: Not a secret. Park to lake across bridge to biscuity goodness.

    Numbers, names, brief convocation.

    No announcements because we just spend almost 2 hours together, and if we had something to share, the time to speak up has passed.

    NMS: Handshake is playing with the Pigeons and Hitchhiker will did not meet us at Dogpile.

    Good luck to the guys running today in Petersburg. YHC knows Doozy is in (not sure who else). Crush it, fellas.

  • BYOB (Bring Your Own Block)

    Eleven early risers picked up the mantle and posted for today’s edition of First Watch. Conditions were 70 and sunny. According to HoneyDo’s M (who posted to HER workout), the following likely happened:

    Mosey around the parking lot. 1 Loop. Circle up on South Westham.

    The COP, j-walking style:

    6 Burpees
    17 SSHs
    23 LBCs
    6 Don Quixotes
    17 Merkins (Kudos to Handshake for the guest cadence)
    23 APDs
    6 Imperial Walkers
    17 Dead Man Hang
    23 flutter kicks

    Mosey to pick up the blocks. Circle the parking lot, and meet up on the side of River Road.

    Pick a partner.

    Partner 1: Run to front of Church with the block. Return. On either crossing of the road, stop and do 3 block merkins.

    Partner 2: Rotate between 10 reps of Squat Thrusters and 10 curls. Begin griping about the blocks.

    Carry the block to the main church parking lot, stopping for 1 block burpee at each speed bump.

    Pick a different partner.

    The two partners coordinate (gasp!). 3 laps each.

    Partner 1: One lap without any block, one lap with only one block, and one lap with two blocks.

    Partner 2: Rotation of 6 burpees, 17 heels to Heaven, 23 flutter kicks.

    Mosey to the side of the Church for block WWIIs (in the designated WWII area).

    Slow mosey to put the blocks away and BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Gomer is looking for a Q for a HDHH next week. No Q would mean no HDHH.

    Bodo’s is apparently giving a public address today on the topic “Sin: good or bad?” Tune in to find out where Bodo’s stands.

    Monday evening should mean Punisher Happy Hour. Usually, Bingo Bar. YHC doesn’t know if this is happening.

    NMS: Splinter’s cat apparently was feeling achy today, so YHC jumped onto the Q Sheet for National “I’m in Control Day.” YHC knows that the PAX loves them some block work. And, since it is also Manatee Appreciation Day, what better represents a Manatee (terrible FNG name) than a concrete block?

    Programming Notes for Future Q’s: Squat thrusters are awful. Block burpees are not much better. And, Gomer has apparently completed the Russian Army’s Concrete Block Logistics Training Course. Sir Charles Foxtrot joined the PAX briefly.

    Hats off to Handshake for recognizing that today was about recklessly violating traffic laws.

    Hi to Erin, who posted.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • West of the People Who Charge Money to Work Out

    One PAX is all that was needed to put The Clinic into high gear. Temperatures were, again, actually 70 and sunny, or at least 70. According to the early morning smokers in front of the hotel, the following might have happened:

    Broward loop. 4.5 miles. Stay WEST of the people setting up kettle bells in the parking lot, and then do that again on the way back.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    NMS: Summer is coming soon to south Florida. Today might have been YHC’s last day of spring (i.e., super oppressive humidity likely returns next week). Glorious weather for a run.

  • If There Are No Turns, Will There Still Be Questions?

    11 two-leggers and one two-wheeler (yeah, RAMM Gears, we see you!) braved the heavy air and avoided the flooding on Groooooove to take in the ever-challenging routes that are an everyday part of the RAMM. Conditions were ever-constant at 70 and sunny. According to the woman reading her phone while driving and turning and nearly running over Bodo’s (VA Plate: 1 MOBJAK), the following likely happened:

    Route: Commonwealth. 45 minutes of Commonwealth. If you are not on Commonwealth, you have made a wrong turn.

    Marketing Distraction (the PAX saw through this): run a giant suicide on Commonwealth. Grove to Franklin to Grove to Wythe to Grove to Cutshaw to Grove (something like 4 miles). Repeat Grove to Franklin one more time (5) or two more times (6).

    Numbers, names, Marv was kind enough to take us out.

    Announcements and Prayer Requests:

    Ukraine. We are fortunate in the US that it is unlikely we will ever wake up to face the historical wrath of an autocrat with no moral limitations who runs a neighboring country with a large military and nuclear weapons. Ukraine does not have that luxury. Prayers for all of those who stand against aggression and wanton destruction, and further prayers for those whose lives are endangered as a result.

    Our pals are running this morning. Bro code. Not the West End, once-a-month bro-code. This is the it’s-only-two-hills-in-the-Grand-Canyon Bro Code. Good luck, fellas. The PAX are pulling for you.

    NMS:

    The PAX clearly, universally, and emphatically appreciated the simplicity of today’s route. Inspired by our “it’s only two hills” brethren, today’s route strove for simplicity: no hills, and only 3 turns, all 180 degrees. And, ever steadfast in their inquisitiveness, some sought to clarify, while others quickly realized that it was really just 45 minutes on Commonwealth. Nothing gets past the PAX.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Someone Call Security

    One PAX did it again and made The Clinic happen. Temps remained 70 and sunny. According to the security guard stalling the PAX member, this might have happened:

    5 miles. Out and back to Broward Blvd.

    NMS: mumbled to myself. Really.

  • The Birds Poop Here

    Fifteen rogue warriors creeped into The Gloom for the latest edition of The Punisher. Temperatures were disturbingly close to 70 and sunny. According to the unexpected Zing Fitter walking through our AO, the following quite possibly happened:

    Mosey through the TES walkways to the Third Church outdoor calisthenics lot for the COP:

    With 2 FNGs present, a complete, unabridged, autographed disclaimer was provided.

    7s – unannounced. 6 SSHs, 1 burpee (groan). 5-2 (louder groans), 4-3, 3-4, 2-5, 1-6.
    Ukrainian Soldiers
    DQ’s
    IWs
    Hillbillies
    Reverse crunches
    Flutter kicks

    Mosey to the Third Church front steps for Touch-a-Pole. Partner up. First partner performs a movement and touches 1 pole. Second partner performs an exercise. Next round, 2 poles. Then, 3 poles. Yes, different poles.

    Exercises were bear crawl and WWIIs. 2nd evolution, crab walk and flutter kicks.

    Mosey to the Third Church offices. Triple check.

    1st Partner: Loop around office. Stop at picnic table. Perform an exercise.
    2nd Partner: SSHs
    3rd Partner: box cutters

    Exercises at the table:
    Round 1: 10 derkins
    Round 2: 20 dips
    Round 3: 30 step ups or squats (note the bird poop)

    Scorpion kicks, both verted and inverted, to stretch at the end.

    Mosey to the TES parking lot for Hop-Skip-and-a-Jump:

    3 Hand release mercans at each arrow in the lot. Dealer’s choice of hop, skip, or jump between arrows.

    Mosey to the island for 1 minute of Mary. Flutter kicks and Rosalita’s.

    Numbers, names, Splinter took us out with a message.

    Announcements:

    The Punisher meets this evening at 6:00 p.m. in the parking lot at Bingo Beer for the 1st F. 2nd of is at 6:15. YHC guesses this will be on the patio.

    NMS:

    We welcomed to two new FNGs.

    Steve Moore lives on Westham (aka – the heart of F3RVA, castle house, 3 kids, son plays ball with Splinter). Clemson grad. We bounced around on a few names…and even after YHC told him we might go with Lancelot. That said, his neighbor and friend, Pucker, came in at the wire with the winning entry. Let’s all welcome, Farquaad (note the double-A). Note: if Farquaad wants to use “Lord” as a title, that’s approved.
    Ben Cox – neighbor of Offshore, 3 kids, volleyball player, realtor / architect. Lots of options, but let’s welcome Treanor (or “hyphen” Treanor), pronounced “Trainer.”

    FNGs did great today. YHC bets (and hopes) they will both be back.

    YHC also notes that someone has exceptional aim throwing wood chips.

  • Private memberships start at free

    One PAX came forth into the Gloom to take on the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were actually 70 and sunny. According to Mike, the office park rent a cop, here is what more or less happened:

    Run focused beat down today. Run 150 to 200 yards, perform a set of exercises. 10 reps per station. Exercises were Merkens, World War II’s, squats, flutter kicks. Total mileage 4.8.

    According to the Q, this was all done in 45 minutes. We don’t need no stinking watches.

    Numero, nombre, yo exito.

    NMS: Outfit has started classes in the parking lot. Membership start at $99.99 per month for a personalized workout. Private memberships are more but you get a one person work out. YHC has also started offering one person workouts at the low, low price of free.

  • Back Door

    One PAX scheduled an appointment and appeared for the latest edition of The Clinic. Temps were sunny and 70. According to the smokers in front of the hotel, the following happened:

    5 mile route to Broward, going out through the in door and back in through the outdoor. No raspberry berets were injured in the process.

    Name, number, YHC took himself out.

    NMS: Cold, SFLa style. Only 55.

  • Wrestle or Die

    One PAX less than energetically launched at the Clinic. Temps were actually 70 and sunny. According to the not handicap hotel employee who had a handicapped tag and parked in a handicapped space, heres what happened:

    YHC decides to do loops. about 1.5 miles per loop. 3 loops today.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    Announcements: Fudd is moving back to Westham. Super. Welcome home.

    NMS: Nada. Quiet day.