Author: Upchuck

  • I hate you

    Tough to say how many precisely posted for the latest edition of The Roller Coaster. Temperatures were definitely sunny and 70. According to the good-looking, married, 50-somethings who stare just a little bit too long, the following might have happened.

    Routes: Hillcrest. Variations: Small, Medium, and Large (No XLs today).

    YHC did 2 small, 1 medium, and 1 large with a mix of accompanying PAX members.

    NMS: Always great to catch up with the guys at this AO. With the exception of the top of Chairman and Pocohauntas, it’s all hills. YHC was happy to have HoneyDo join for a Large loop. HoneyDo was less happy at the route, but persevered. Well done.

    Way to push, fellas.

    Announcements: BRR 2 weeks away.

    Let YHC know if I missed anyone.

  • Yes, it’s called ”The Gambia”

    One PAX launched earlier than some, later than others to enjoy a soupy August morning at The Clinic. Temperatures remained 70 and sunny. According to the President of The Gambia, who was assigned to overwatch, this is what happened:

    5:12 am: send final taunting text to Gumbo to get his butt out of bed.

    5:12:20 Launch. Run today was just about 316,800 inches, or 5 mikes. YHC’s Apple Watch Series 11 is very precise.

    06:02:21

    Number, name, YHC took himself out under the watchful eye of the President’s security team.

    NMS: The Gambia, really. YHC thought the two dudes with darkened SUVs were picking up the Dolphins. Nope. Hip bulges suggested otherwise. YHC, being a social fella, chose to make friends. Nice fellas, those Gambians. YHC gathers that south Florida is pretty laid back for presidential security.
    Intelligence nugget: no boxes of Gambian presidential documents were identified during the workout.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • She Can’t Unsee That

    Eight fleet-of-foot took off rapidly into the soupy morning.Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the Trail Mermaid, the following may have happened.

    North Bank, T-Pott, South Bank.

    Announcements: none were made.

    NMS:

    Seven faced obstacles while one progressed unhindered along the roads. Not more than 200 yards into the run, the group of 7 faced a climbing obstacle in the form of a “tree down.” This prompted a discussion of “How many fallen trees do we expect to come upon?” Vegas put the odds at an ever-moving line of 3, perhaps 3.5, albeit with an on-going discussion of the precise definition of what constituted a tree that has fallen:

    Rules, as of now:

    1. Tree must have fallen recently, and,
    2. Tree must be blocking the full trail. Partially blocking does not count.
    3. Tree must present an obstacle to the runner, thus resulting in the runner breaking stride. Example: running under a fallen tree at normal speed does not constitute a fallen tree. There were several of these.
    4. Trees which had fallen near the trail do not count.

    TYA noted that it was unlikely that, regardless of the size of the tree, his pace would be slowed. Quite possibly, his pace is that slow. Chippendale noted that, at the pace UpChuck/Offshore ran, there was merit to asking whether we had stopped to swim. No offense intended, but quite funny.

    Prayers: for TYA, who has been suffering a sustained case of writer’s block since November, 2021. YHC offered to step in today to help a Brother out.

    T&Ps, brother. Hope it clears up soon.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Sprinklers Turn Off at 4:50

    Eleven studs waltzed out and announced their presence with authority for a 5:00 run, err, Beat, down. Temperatures were sunny and 70. According to the groundskeeping crew at U of R, the following quite possibly happened:

    Mosey to the Sprinkler-fed lawn in front of River Road Baptist. Groans. “It’s gonna be too wet.” Yep. Cold, wet, and sandy. Fun fact: it rained last night. Second fun fact: the sprinklers were on when Broga started. Third fun fact: the sprinklers turned off at 4:50.

    Circle up.

    SSHs
    WWIIs (wet)
    HRMs (wet)
    Imperial Walkers
    Hillbillies
    Flutter kicks
    Pancake toss (flip over x3)
    Carolina Dry Docks
    Something else

    Let’s mosey. Q runs to the other side of intersection of River and Ridge. Headlamp goes out. Rookie move.

    Mosey along River to Saab’s house. The man lives on River. What can we say? We know people with prestigious addresses. Do some exercises in his driveway to celebrate.

    Mosey down River to U of R fields for the Main Event. The Michigan. In the dark. (See dead battery, headlamp).

    100 yard sprint x 10 times

    80 yard spring x 8 times

    60 yard sprint x 6 times

    40 yard sprint x4 times

    20 yard sprint x2 times

    10 yard sprint x 1 time

    Breaks sprinkled to allow for recovery of breadth, stretching, and griping.

    50 burpees called at the end. 11 groans heard…attendance taken and everyone is alive and able to breathe. Boom. Let’s mosey back to the VSF, Indian-run style, Kubota fast walk pace, stopping this time at Saab’s new neighbor’s house. Exercises.

    Reform the line in the same order. Or, 5 burpees. PAX did the burpees.

    BTTVSF.

    5 MOM, with reverse crunches, flutters, Alabama Prom Dates, and more reverse crunches.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Great to hear Lab Rat is doing better. Can’t wait to see you back out there.

    Let’s hope Tryhard’s sister continues to have good numbers.

    Since YHC is slow to post this, sorry if you missed Roller Coaster this evening at 5/5:30 at Hillcrest. (Note: Copyright alert. Not sure what type of law school graduates are running hills in SOJ land now that Hunton’s finest have moved to the Promised Land, but those calling other AOs Roller Coaster best beware…this AO has been Roller Coaster for about 6 years. Time to checkity-check before you wreckity-wreck).

    BRR…sign up. Good numbers. Fellas are getting in shape.

    NMS:

    Daniel joined us today. He’s 29, he’s a Scorpio (actually, we have No Idea what his Zodiac sign is and, in any case, No Idea is a different guy entirely), his wife is close personal friends with Marv’s wife, they go to church with Marv, and he runs a dental practice in Hopewell where he apparently treats jaundice in a lot of Union Army soldiers. Seems like an overall solid dude. Hope he comes back. Oh, and his F3 name is Abscess. Strong work today.

    Corey Widmer “Suck It” Awards of the Day:

    Hutton’s for his views on YHC’s physique. YHC suggests getting some Structure in your life.

    Bodo’s for being Bodo’s. #coffee

    Everyone who griped about getting wet at 5:02 a.m. only to find they were soaking wet (and stinky) at 5:35 a.m.

    BTW, for anyone who has not been to Broga, it’s early, and it’s worth it. Thanks, Last Call. #solidstretching #sprinklers #marble

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Omar Says No to a Nickname

    One overweight dude ran 5. One definitely not overweight dude did curls using large power tools in the parking lot. Temps were 70 and sunny. According to the PAX who appointed himself as the hotel security guard, the following may have happened:

    Running route: Peters, left on 36th, north to mall, past the pop-up, pay-to-work-out place. Turn around at Broward Blvd. Return via same route.

    Workout: curls. At least 65 minutes of equipment curls. YHC saw Omar doing this at 4:55 a.m. and can verify he was still doing it at 6:00.

    Number, name, Omar took us out with the following: “What is there to complain about? I’m above ground. That’s ok for me. Complaining doesn’t fix anything.”

    NMS: Omar was doing equipment curls this morning when YHC hit the parking lot to stretch just prior to 5 a.m. Blower in the right hand, and some type of mechanical digging tool in the left while walking the parking lot. YHC checked the blower. ~20 pounds. Apparently, there have been car break ins, so Omar has appointed himself as the overnight security guard once his normal work was done. YHC did about 10 minutes of stretching, then the run. When YHC came back about 50 minutes later, Omar was still doing curls walking in the parking lot.

    He said no thanks to a nickname, so we’re going with Omar as his nickname. First, if you know the reference to Omar from The Wire, this a perfect. Omar is an upstanding dude from Jamaica. I doubt he’s ever broken a rule in his life. And, I don’t believe he has seen even one episode of The Wire.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Back in the Saddle

    8 dressed properly to run the Sunday Funday loops this morning. Temperatures were actually 70 and conditions were sunny. According to the biker who tried to run down one of our runners, the following might have happened:

    North Bank to T. Pottersfield to South Bank / Buttermilk.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Sign up to run BRR. Sounds like we have 18 so far.

    Prayers for Lab Rat who is dealing with Round 2. Let’s nail this once and for all. We are with you, my friend.

    Prayers for YHC’s friend JB. Uphill battle with a serious health issue.

    F3RVA continues to support groups of men working to improve upon unfortunate circumstances or prior choices. Let’s get guys out to The Bridge. HoneyDo did a solo yesterday, and we can do better. Pick a weekend – this weekend – and plan to help out. It’s a great experience and growth opportunity. The guys there appreciate it.

    Second opportunity coming up. Shakedown and Offshore have spent several years helping with The Healing Place here in Richmond. A few of us have shown up for moral support as well. Now is our opportunity to demonstrate what “open to all men” means. Look for more information coming up from Shakedown on ways to become more involved with bringing these guys into the F3 world on a more regular basis.

    NMS:

    Excellent morning to get sweaty running the loop. It’s been a minute since YHC did a Sunday Funday after being a regular for years. Great to see so many awesome dudes.

    Special thanks to Helix who drew the short straw and had to run with YHC today.

    Great chatter at ETs. Food remains the COVID standard level. Meh.

    Sunday Funday Final Exam Question. Discuss the validity of this statement: A tank top is better running attire than going shirtless.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Back in the Soup

    One PAX took The Clinic by storm. Temps were 70 and sunny. According to the iguana watching as YHC ran by, the following may have happened:

    Broward route interrupted by a Fudd stop. Pro tip: when traveling, bring an office key on the run.

    5 mikes. Humidity on overload.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

  • Are You Going to Paint the Front Door?

    17 – yeah, 17 – men of action tossed the Fart Sack to the side in favor of a seasonally pleasant morning workout. Temperatures remained constant at 70 and sunny. According to the F3 mobile app, the following may have occurred:

    Mosey to the 3rd (but 1st in YHC’s heart) Church parking lot for the COP. Intro, disclaimer, etc.

    SSHs, LBCs, Ukrainian Soldiers, Hillbillies, Hand Release Merkins, WWIIs, Dead Man Hang, Some Other Things That are Like a Dead Man Hang, Some Yoga Stretches

    Mosey to the back parking lot. Partner up.

    Round 1: Man 1 runs the length of the lot and back to the Church. Man 2 bear crawls the length of the lot and, if you are EF Hutton, starts bear crawling back. After Man 1 completes at least one full loop, swap positions and continue.

    Wallsit for the six.

    Round 2: Shorten the distance to half the parking lot. Change to crab walk. Same rules.

    BTTW for the Six. Wrap up with alternating shoulder taps.

    Round 3: Shorten the distance to 1/4 of the lot. Change to broad jump (or, if you are EF Hutton, Triple Jump) burpees.

    Mosey to the 2nd Church Lot at Third Church. Grab the coupons. Mosey to the Third Church lot at Third Church, and partner up.

    One man has a block. One man does not.

    The person with the block (Partner 1) has a choice – give the block to Partner 2 to carry on a run around the Third Church Office Metroplex. If Partner 1 selects this, Partner 1 will do SSHs while Partner 2 runs with the block.

    Or, Partner 1 can selfishly keep the block for himself while Partner 2 runs the loop block-free. In this case, Partner 1 will do block burpees. Something like 3 rounds, but it was not a triple check.

    Mosey nowhere. Line up in the parking spaces, alternating with a block in every other space. Think of this as “Around the World,” only every other station has a block. Any man who has a block does 10 squat thrusters. Any man without a block does the called exercise. Rotate one space clockwise after each round. YHC thinks we did WWIIs, snow angels, HRMs, and heels to heaven.

    Put the blocks back, and mosey BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out with a reminder that our group is all-volunteer. Take the time to thank the man next to you for his dedication and leadership. New ideas are always welcome. YHC also encourages guys to take the time to research and learn before coming to a conclusion / suggestion.

    Announcements:

    Welcome, Flo (Jack). Name comes from Jack’s work as an underwriter at Kinsale Insurance. Great to have you.

    Punisher Q is open this evening – jump on it. Let’s hope Chum heals quickly.

    Second Tuesday lunch at Firehouse Subs in Innsbrook tomorrow at lunch time (YHC doesn’t know the exact time). Check with Gypsy (YHC thinks).

    Monday evening with the Nantan will be on Tuesday evening this week. Gomer posted this to Slack, so that’s where the information about this is posted.

    HDHH is sometime. Usually on a Wednesday. If there isn’t one scheduled, ask Doozy where he wants to have a beer as he usually has some good suggestions for new places. Then, plan to go there with him. Advertise this plan on Slack.

    Prayers for YHC’s employee / buddy JB. Radiation last week and starting chemo today for 5 days. He has an uphill challenge after a botched diagnosis.

    NMS:

    YHC pulled in late to see an over-flowing parking lot. Awesome.

    Great to meet Flo, nice to have several guys (Pigskin, House Party, Last Call, etc) make the trip over the river, and fantastic to have Wojo back. Great to partner with EF Hutton, House Party, and Splinter.

    Solid work from the PAX.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Second Leg

    One PAX hit the upslopes and downslopes on the Second Leg of the Fourth of July Triathalon. Temps remained sunny and 70. According to the two French bikers unfamiliar with lone runners on rural mountain ranges, the following likely happened:

    Run up the mountain to Notre Dame de Constance (2) and down the mountain (2). Take five at the turn-around to enjoy the view and snag some water.

    Number, name, YHC took himself out.

    NMS: Leg 2 of the Clinic triathlon is in the books.

    At least two people in France consider YHC nuts for running this hill. YHC attempted to describe BRR to them. C’est la vie.

  • Three for a Clinic VQ (at a 1st Post)

    Three threw off the lure of that extra French coffee to tackle the Cul de Landon. Temps were 70 and sunny. According to the French postal worker speeding past, the following likely happened:

    First post for two newbies from two genders,

    First time The Clinic has conducted a ride, and

    First time YHC has attended a VQ for a FNG.

    10 mile up and back. 1,000 feet up. Pictures accordingly.

    Numbers, names, YHC took us out.

    NMS: Incredible way to start a morning. Superb route (pictures to follow on Slack).

    This was Part One of YHC’s Fourth of July Triathalon (bike, then run, then swim).

    Learnings: it takes a special type of cheater to ride an electric bike. What’s the point? Just drive.

    It’s been a long time since YHC has biked a legitimate mountain. Great to be back on top.

    Enjoy the Fourth!