Author: Upchuck

  • You’re Really Focused on Murder

    14 sets of shoes, 1 set of paws, and 3 sets of wheels pounded the (somewhat less) pot holed City of Richmond pavement on a picture perfect morning around the friendly confines of MMES. For the 260th consecutive Friday, temps were sunny and 70.

    Routes…all runners, east on Grove.

    4 miler, right on Shields, then…

    5 milers, right on Vine, then…

    6 milers, right on Laurel, then right on Park, then…

    All runners turn right on Floyd, then right on Nansemond, then left on Grove, and BTTF.

    Announcements:

    Beer Mile for Shawn G. Hogan, this evening, Dogwood Dell. Come drink 4 beers over 4 laps with Handshake, Faceplant, and Friends (and learn the answer to Greenbow’s philosophical query, “What beverage should I chug that would be as bad as beer?”

    Don’t want to drink and run? No worries. Arrive early, scour the bushes, and snag a 6 pack of beer, which will be warming all day.

    NMS:

    Great morning for a run. Faceplant and Sippy launched fast out of the blocks, so fast that Sippy apparently combusted somewhere along the route. Handshake set a solid pace for the 4 and 5 milers. Good chatter with Handshake and Greenbow before the latter, Bodo’s, and Bodo’s garbage-ravaging canine split off for the 4 route.

    Swiper shared his advice on good spots to hike in Colorado, including one route that had the unfortunate side effect of triggering fear among his youngest that Swiper was trying to murder the young man. YHC is reasonably sure his own parents tried to murder YHC using the same method, an experience so jarring that YHC in turn has attempted to do the same to his own children. Remember, fellas: it’s push yourself, don’t hurt yourself. And, push your 2.0s until they drop.

  • Ode to Q’s Past

    10 studs posted for a) the Return of UpChuck Q, yet unexpectedly found b) Fireman Ed’s Best Pick-Up Lines of the 80’s, 90’s and Today. Temps were (actually), clear and 70, thanks for asking.

    Mosey to the Third Church parking lot for the COP, consisting of:

    SSHs x25
    Burpees (for the Redskins victory total) x0 (Yeah, pretty sure that’ll stand today)
    IW’s x15
    DQ’s x10
    HRM’s x10
    LBC’s x20
    Scorpion Kicks x15 (apparently Loose Goose calls these “Nipple Lickers”)

    Mosey to the TES Sign Board for Crawl-a-Dora

    50/50-200-300…each partner does 50 merkins, then partners continue the traditional Dora for 200 4-count flutter kicks and 300 monkey jumpers. “Runner” bear crawls from Lindsey (the street, not the exercise) to the TES sign. Run back.

    “Let’s go over here” to the Teacher’s Parking Lot for Parking Space Torture:

    Starting in the first space, perform a stack of exercises in each space on the row. First row, the PAX did 5 merkins followed by 5 HRMs per space. Roughly 10 spaces.

    Audible for second row…5 Hello Dollys, 5 Rosalitas, and 5 reverse crunches per space. 10 spaces.

    Add 3 burpees at the end for the space that’s not a parking space on the end.

    Mosey BTTF.

    Finish with Ring of Fire. 10 merkins while PAX holds plank.

    Announcements: YHC completely spaced on the announcements and, like his friend LabRat, apologizes.

    NMS:

    On Saturday morning at roughly 6:45, YHC was mulling over the following: 1) since F3 RVA turned 5, what would be a good tribute for YHC to offer? and 2) should YHC vomit on Rosie during Swirly’s Burpee Beast, or just pass out?

    YHC decided on an Ode to some of YHC’s earliest Q’ing influences…Bleeder (Day 1), Honey Do (YHC’s recruiter), and Chum Bucket, the eponymous Q from so many Punishers (currently and many during YHC’s first year). The result was something including a bunch of bear crawls (Bleeder), Scorpion Kicks and that devious little hill on Lindsey (Honey Do), and a ton of parking space work (Chum), which should never be as challenging as it is. Thanks, fellas, for 3.5 years of Qing.

  • Breaking Hard Shells

    3 PAX plus an FNG (Friendly New Gal) labored over a hot stove and a pair of hot slow cookers on Sunday. Temps were sunny and 72 (hey, the kitchen is a temperature controlled environment).

    6 residents plus the center manager joined us for dinner. Beef or chicken? Hard or soft shell? Guac, salsa, sour cream, cheese? Good stuff, and YHC sends his thanks to Vers, Westminster, and Pencil (FNG) for doing the overwhelming portion of the prep. And to his M for doing most of the shopping.

    Good chatter all around with the 3 kiddos making some new friends and sharing a bit about middle school with the residents. YHC chatted with a pair of guys, one from Gloucester and another from Washington (albeit a Cowboys fan). Topics included the Cowboys, old movies, and how the Redskins could somehow lose on Sunday despite not playing.

    For those PAX who are considering doing this, but aren’t quite sure what’s involved, it’s a piece of cake.

  • I’ve Never Been More Scared

    3 runners sporting 8 total legs joined 5 bikers on 10 wheels for today’s version of 70 and sunny for Sunday Funday. According to the sleeping hippie biker in Oregon Hill, this is what woke him up today…

    Mountain bikers: warm-up on the pipe loop in Dogwood Dell Park, then head east on North Bank Trail. Hardywood, Brexit, and “Joey” (who is not an Australian kangaroo) continued east at high speed until disappearing in a dust cloud, purportedly returning to their aboriginal lands in various South Bank neighborhoods. Shakedown guided Corned Beef through the most challenging and technical ride of Corned Beef’s MB career, which incidentally includes only today’s ride. Well done, CB, especially for a first-day in the saddle. Talk about starting with a challenging ride!

    Runners: Offshore, Sally, and YHC also headed East, with Sally stopping for, ahem, a Fuddish-feminine moment here and there. Turn-around point was the parking lot at Tredegar, largely in deference to YHC remaining on the rehab schedule…making for a 5.5 mile R/T (thanks to Offshore for helping YHC with some basic addition).

    NMS:Great to return to the trails today, albeit under a continuing distance limit. YHC thanks Offshore for the company and being willing to limit the distance. Sally thanks everyone for eliminating all bridge crossings.

    Yet another good time at ETs, where Shakedown, Corned Beef, and Offshore joined YHC for some good chatter. A couple of the themes for other F3 men…remember to consider your F3 goals. Are you pushing yourself or staying stationary? “Push yourself; don’t hurt yourself” is a two-part motto. How can we encourage ourselves and our Brothers to continue making forward progress, rather than remain stationary?

    Second good theme: For guys who are newer to Q-ing…what are the key lessons some of the more experienced guys would suggest help make for a good Q?

    One that came up in our discussion repeatedly was the “If you can’t do it, don’t Q it.” Don’t hesitate to use the audible when the relationship between exercises and capabilities isn’t quite right. A second was “leave no man behind”…be ready to pick up the six and adjust your original plan so the PAX gets a good challenge and the 6 isn’t left behind. The workout is for the PAX, not just for the Q to show their creativity. How can a good Q balance the two?

    Announcements: Happy birthday, mom. Thanks for 46 years of everything for me and 80 years of being you.

  • It Flattens Out

    Nine took advantage of a break in the weather to kick off today’s edition of River Run between rain showers. Conditions were 70 and sunny.

    Route:

    James River to the James River. Run the loop. Left on Riverton Ridge, left on Welby, right on Sherfield, left on Ashwell, left on Ashwell again, cross Robious, and right on Powderham to Twin Team down the hill to James River Road and BWES. 5.1 for those who didn’t loop around.

    Lug Nut and Bleeder ran the 4 mile route.

    NMS: Doozy shot out like a cannon today. Unfortunately, the concussion caused a massive rupture in the Giant Sky Balloon, so the rest of the run was in a downpour. At least it was a warm rain.

    As Rosie described it, there was an F3 3rd F last night at the Avett Brothers Concert. Sounds like a good one.

    Today’s route was designed to avoid running up Twin Team. Hah. Running through Tarrington BEFORE running down Twin Team is, shall we say, not flat. Rosie provided a tutorial centered on the equation y=mx+b, focused mostly on the definition of m (not the M you are thinking). Fascinating stuff if you are a solid runner, and good distraction from the actual slope on Ashwell.

    This was followed by the Q giving an impromptu lecture on the National Flood Insurance Program entitled, “Why Paying for SEAL Team Might Be Worth It.”

    Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out with an analogy about using today’s downpour as motivation to cleanse ourselves and renew any broken relationships we might have.

  • Caution: You Will Get Wet on This Ride

    33 swimmers jumped into the deep end for today’s version of The Dogpile. According to the bacteria swimming in the parking lot puddles, this is what happened:

    Rolling COP:

    Quick quiz and not-so-slaughter starter: 5 WWIIs. Answer: Today was YHC’s 3rd Anniversary.

    Modified group run through the puddles, before circling up for…SSHs, IWs, arm circles, Hillbillies, LBCs, flutter kicks, HRMs.

    First Triple Check:

    One person bear crawls through the puddle and runs back. One person does squats and last person does Hello Dollies.

    Quiz #2 and 5 burpees. Bleeder was YHC’s first Q. W-Dog, June 8, 2016.

    Mosey to the Great Lawn for…wait for it…Another Triple Check.

    Person one polar bears the width of the Great Lawn. Person 2 does Rosalitas. Person 3 runs half of the length of the field, reverses direction, and runs Frogger Style through the PAX to the flower pots.

    WWIIs for the Six.

    Quiz: Hardywood came up with YHC’s name. 5 more WWIIs.

    Mosey to the Back Lawn for Touch-a-Tree (surprisingly, another Triple Check).

    Person one runs and touches 10 unique trees. Person 2 does Lt. Dans. Person 3 does flutter kicks. Repeato so that each person has the opportunity to touch 10 trees. Repeato again for 8 trees. HRMs for the Six.

    Mosey to the Amphitheater, with a quick loop to the far steps and back down.

    Quiz: HoneyDo introduced YHC to F3. 5 WWIIs.

    Quiz: YHCs favorite guest Q’s are F3 RVAs resident gymnasts, two of whom joined the PAX today…and led the PAX (literally and figuratively) in…Self Destruction. 1 SSH, 1 mercan, and one v-up on the first step. 2 of each on the second step…all the way to 18 at the top.

    Plank for the Six. BTTF.

    Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, quick group picture, and YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    BRR, HDHH, July 4th Convergence…all the oldies, but goodies (when does ReeseStrong 5k come around again?)

    NMS:

    Today was YHC’s 3rd Anniversary (Triple Check Central), which means it’s been 3 years since YHC humored HoneyDo by agreeing to show up one time. Thank you, HoneyDo. YHC also thanks the PAX for being a strong, positive, motivating influence in YHC’s life. YHC thought life was good prior to F3, and life it just better with F3. YHC’s M, kids, and colleagues all thank you, even if many of them do not know it.

    Also, YHC postulates that he leads the PAX in the category “Percentage of Dogpile Q’s Done in the Rain/Mud.” YHC likes this. YHC thanks the PAX for playing along. And, welcome Danny DeVito. Great to day be an FNG.

    Lastly, YHC apologizes to Lab Rat for forgetting to bring a recording device today for the COT. YHC thanks LR for jumping in and scribing all the names. Much appreciated.

  • Bro Code in the Rain

    Ten men hit the early morning roads for today’s version of The Breakfast Club. According to the person stealing a bag of organic mulch from ET’s, this is what went down:

    Thomson to Cary to Robinson to the VITA Trail to Dogpile.

    Return trip was Blanton to Sheppard to Cary to Thomson. Wilson continued his tradition of taking point. Like a true Recon element, Wilson stood post well in advance of the Main Force.

    NMS: Good run in the rain on the outbound trip. Nice to catch up with Spit and Handshake.

    Hermie continues to post and grind through workouts. Well done today with the double dip. Keep posting, my friend.

    Also, the PAX provided Vinny a short homage to Dodgeball today. On a side note, Canada notified INTERPOL today that Vinny is officially Public Enemy #1 in Ontario. Never wanting to miss the change to make something into a contest, YHC congratulates Vinny on being in first place.

  • Square Peg

    Eleven, including a handful of tourists, jumped into the week with vigor and came forth to the latest rendition of Hoedown. Temps were sunny (almost) and 70 (almost).

    COP: Mosey around the horseshoe (2 laps) to start the legs moving, then circle up in the teacher’s parking lot for:

    Arm circles (10 little, 10 big, then reverso, but only for 10 big…YHC doesn’t believe in small, reverse arm circles).
    IWs
    SSHs
    HBs
    LBCs
    FKicks
    HRMs

    Mosey around the horseshoe two-ish more times…

    …onto the parking lot for…

    12’s, like Elevens, but one louder. Run across parking lot, Bernie Sanders up the asphalt hill, then clockwork merkins. Run across the parking lot, and complement the merkins with 1-11 WWIIs (no complement to 12 merkins…YHC is kind). ABCs for the six, then hold six inches once done with ABCs.

    Mosey to the blacktop for the Dart Board.

    Two circles, similar to a poor man’s dart board, were drawn on the ground. One had a series of exercises; the other a series of numbers (5-40, in increments of 5). One man selected to roll. The first die was targeted for an exercise. The other die was targeted for a number. Based on where the dice land, the PAX does the number of reps for the chosen exercise. Unless, there is a miss, in which case the PAX does 5 burpees for the first miss and 10 burpees for the second miss. Don’t miss three times. PAX rotate rolling…for those who didn’t have a chance to go, next time.

    PAX did lots of burpees, some flutter kicks, HRMs, and merkins.

    In between rounds of exercises, run to the first basketball hoop and back, EXCEPT on the last round…stay at the far end of the blacktop for…

    …Gaga. YHC has wanted to play for some time, and to a hyper-competitive 46-year old, YHC is tired of losing to his kids. Today was YHC’s chance to lose to his friends. 2 brackets…5 PAX in Bracket 1, 6 PAX in Bracket 2. Winner of B1 (Hot Yoga) played Winner of B2 (MARV) for the title. Hot Yoga was crowned the winner, though it’s possible YHC did not enforce the rules, which YHC doesn’t actually know. YHC apologizes to MARV, who may have won before he did not win. Lab Rat also apologizes, because that’s what he does.

    Mosey to the Horseshoe for 4 MoM. WWIIs, flutter kicks, reverse crunches.

    Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Ultimate Frisbee tomorrow at Heartbreak Ridge. Loose Goose reported that Lab Rat will have “the stuff.” Since the HC Police will certainly be present, the PAX should be cautious when possessing “the stuff.”

    Summer tour…Phonics reminds the PAX that 28 have signed up. August 1 is the theoretical last day to start, though YHC notes that a PAX who has not posted anywhere all summer may struggle to post 27 of the following 33 days. Take up the challenge.

    NMS:

    Today won the title of Best Weather of June, and likely July, and likely August. 58 and limited humidity.

    Splinter is a good man. So good, that he has been renamed “Pied Piper” for leading minors astray.

  • Mount Humidity

    Eleven runners of The Gloom met up on the shores of Spider Lake to conquer Mount Henrico. 5:28, route was described (badly), 5:29 Saab’s corrections were noted, and 5:30 the PAX was off. Temps were sunny and 70. Really.

    Good mix of 6, 5, and 4 mile runners.

    Number-am-a, Name-a-Rama, YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Convergence – yesterday. If you missed it, July 4 Convergence. Same location.

    Puppy Pile Saturday at 7:05 a.m.

    HDHH in mid-June

    NMS: With Rosie making an appearance (Summer Tour?), Faceplant and Saab had a new rabbit to chase, and the threesome shot out like a cannonball. Boom! Swirly was not far behind, with Hutton close by. YHC was next for a bit, with Swiper catching up long enough for a courtesy hello before Swiper returned to his normal, well-faster than YHC pace. Lockjaw joined YHC and kept me going for a shorter than normal route. YHC’s directions were so bad that Toto and Bleeder smartly came up with their own route.

    Good to see Rosie and other Summer Tourists out today. Way to earn your 0.1 point for attending a workout with Lockjaw present, but not the Q!

  • It’s Was Never This Hot in Brooklyn

    7 men and one woman awoke from the Fartsack to tackle the trails in today’s version of Sunday Funday. Temps were sunny and 70. TYA-san called the route…Buttermilk to T. Pottersfield to North Bank. Saab ran in the neighborhoods to stay on solid ground. Totals were in the 7 mile range for trail runners, 9+ for the road runner (10?).

    Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

    NMS:

    TYA is a wise sensei. Today was a battle less with the trails and more with the elements. Six of seven runners hit the trails. At the start or shortly thereafter, 5 of 6 runners were topless (or 6 of 7, for those counting Sally).

    The lone road runner, Saab, declined to go topless suggesting,”I’m running through respectable neighborhoods. The residents do not go for that.”

    It was that kind of day.

    TYA’s route selection was all about the shade and the direction of the sun. Well done, friend. It was awful, but the reverse would have been worse.

    Good to see Furley and Pert Plus back on the trails. They led the way, appearing impervious to the heat. Hutton motored through it. YHC and TYA brought up the 6. Offshore and Sally, avoiding the nightmare of the T. Pottersfield Bridge, returned home by another route.

    YHC is not one for participation trophies…today might be an exception.