Author: Upchuck

  • 20% Longer

    One freedom fighter tossed aside the covers of sloth and launched into the soup for the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the Dolphins training campers wondering why YHC was launching before them, the following might have happened:

    Mostly the usual route…hotel, past the actual clinic (Baptist Health, in the house!), past DHL, across Peters, right in the parking lot, hola to the denizens at LaQuinta, left, left, left into Broward Mall parking lot, touch Broward Blvd., reverso, loop the mall with a oak-y-doke to the security truck, then onto 78th St. south, right into parking lot, across Peters, left to DHL, another wave at the clinic, and BTTVSF. 5.?, headed close to 6.

    Dang, it’s hot and sticky in S. Fla. this time of year. Full saturation on both shorts and shirt.

    Omar joined for the COT. Numbers, names, and YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    August 21…100th Birthday celebration. First Watch. 05:00.

    August 23…State Farm leads at The Bridge. Reach out to him if you are interested in joining.

    10th Anniversary in September.

  • Please Don’t Ride Over Faceplant

    Five runners hit the circle of vrroom today in the latest edition of Sunday Funday. Temperatures remained 70 and sunny. According to the lone rider intent on squishing Faceplant into the dirt, the following might have happened.

    South bank (Buttermilk), T-Pottersfield, North Bank, BTTVSF. 1x loop for most of us (6.5 miles or so).

    Anthrax x2 loops. If you start earlier, you get the trails to yourself, and you get to break all of the spider webs.

    Numbers, names, and YHC took us out.

    Announcements:

    Pickleball Tournament. This Saturday. 06:00 a.m. Forest Hill Park. Sign up in advance.

    Rumor has it no Dogpile due to Pickleball. Need a confirmation from Bootleg.

    August 21: My dad’s 100th Birthday. Come out and celebrate (and celebrate your own Dad). First Watch. 05:00.

    The Bridge has re-started due to the commitment of 7 studs. The Bridge is a ministry-led educational program for men coming through, and we hope out of, the prison system. It’s in Buckingham, Va.

    Each of the men below has agreed to organize others from his immediate workout area. Call this a nano-region or a micro-region or some other F3 nom de guerre of your choosing. It’s the guys you work out with regularly. These seven will organize you into a group to visit The Bridge twice a year. Simple enough.

    State Farm – Goyne Park
    Heist – Alamo
    Hardywood – Amelia
    Whitesnake – Gridiron
    Corned Beef – DaVille
    TYA – City Proper
    UpChuck – Tuckahoe

    BTW, someone asked YHC, “Where are the other areas?” Great question. Candidly, if you don’t see your area represented, you can be the guy to lead, all you need to do is step forward. We can expand our investment almost limitlessly (up to 52 weeks/year). “F3’s mission is to reinvigorate male community leadership.” Here’s an opportunity to work with F3RVA’s finest on a mission to help other men. Let’s go!

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • 4 Weeks Until BRR

    One overweight and undertrained aspiring BRR runner took to the mean streets of Westham in the latest edition of First Watch, or maybe, The Clinic, or maybe Spider Run…. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the mullet-sporting guy getting handsy with back rubs in the RRC,B parking lot, the following might have happened.

    Route: River Road Church, Baptist to South Ridge to Westham Station to Huguenot to Bat Cave to Richmond Way, around the baseball stadium to New Fraternity Row, left on Hampshire, which immediately becomes Baldwin, to Wood, right on Beechwood, left on West Drive Circle, right on Lindsey, left on Forest, right on Ridge, left on Ziontown, left on University, right on Ralston, left on River, and back to the (actual?) shovel flag (and, if someone brings a shovel flag to an AO with a different Back Blast, can YHC count that?). 5.3 miles.

    Number, name, and YHC had just about taken himself out when the First Watch crew returned. Numbers (plural), names (plural), and TryHard took us out.

    Announcements:

    The Bridge has an All-Star cast that will be helping organize each micro area of F3RVA to help some men struggling with a variety of challenges. We have 6 native RVA guys and one Amelian who are committed to leading (or organizing other men to lead) at least 2 workouts at The Bridge over the next 12 months. These guys are studs, and there work is highly appreciated. More to follow.

    Float on the James has been postponed due to likely Flood on the James.

    Prayers for Lurch and his family. Let’s hope for a short and positive hospital stay.

    NMS: YHC typically travels mid-week and runs Wednesday or Thursday mornings. But, not if there is a tropical storm and not if the oven breaks at home. So, having administered a Beat Down on Monday at DaVille and having suffered (at least one) Beat Down yesterday in Ultimate (thank you for organizing, Swoop!), YHC pondered whether to run (as normal) or take on a TryHard beat down today. Remembering the old saying, “Always take the lesser of two evils,” YHC clicked, “5 Mile Run” and “Add to Cart.” It was a super slog today. The struggle was real, but YHC is glad he did it. Only a few more weeks to prepare for the mountains. Let’s go!

    Good time at the Coffeeteria and catch up with TryHard, Ronnie, and the Usual Deplorables.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • What is the Actual Definition of Third Base?

    Six hombres of The Gloom circled up and rolled out for the latest edition of DaVille. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the two ladies spying on our workout, the following might have happened:

    Mosey around the parking lot 1x.

    Circle up for the COP.
    SSHs x50 (4-count)
    Dead Man Hang
    Fudd’s Wife
    Right leg high. Left hand high (if you got it). Left leg high (if you got it)
    Left leg high. Right hand high (if you got it). Right leg high (if you got it)

    Wilson’s Wife
    Pigeon right, then pigeon left.
    Hand release merkins x20
    LBCs x20
    WWIIs x10
    Copperhead Squats (x10)
    Imperial Walkers (x10)
    Hillbillies (x10)

    Mosey over there.

    Touch a Tree. Partner up. Rounds of 10, 8, 6, 4, and 2. Hello Dolly, something else, squats, gas pumps, and burpees

    Mosey to front of the parking lot. Partner up. Dora 50/50 (merkins), 100 (squats), 150 (4-count SSHs).

    Mosey to the other side of the parking lot to do a Prostitute. 4 corners, but always return to the start, repeating each exercise until the group has built up to 40. 10 merkins (1st base), 20 squats (2nd base), 30 (4-count) LBCs (3rd base), and 40 flutter kicks (you have scored).

    30 seconds to go, BTTVSF.

    Numbers, names, and Phonics took us out.

    Announcements:

    Prayers for Corned Beef’s boss’ family. Boss has lost both mom and dad in the last year.

    Rugby. Wednesday’s at 6:30 and Sunday’s at noon. Tuckahoe Middle School (one of the back fields?). TOUCH (not tackle). See Boo Boo for details.

    The Bridge is coming together. Studs from all over F3RVA putting forward their time and efforts to help the guys reforming their lives at The Bridge Ministry in Buckingham. More information to come. But, it’s an All-Star cast of F3’s finest.

    NMS: Backblast title comes from a PAX member who, upon completing 2nd Base, commented to YHC, “What exactly is the definition of 3rd base? I mean, in high school, we had ideas of what we would call it, but none of us actually did anything.” Yep.

    Upchuck spits the bit.

  • Surely, Someone Will Show for The Main Event

    ONE Pax posted at The Clinic, Rock and Roll version, with full servings of all three S’s of The Clinic: solo, steamy, sweaty. Temperatures remained 70 and sunny. According to the two 8-year olds playing full court hoops with 8 guys in their 40s/50s, the following might have happened.

    Mosey to the edge of the parking lot for the COP.

    YHC was fully stretched, so quick round of SSHs, squats, and other minor exercises to get the blood flowing.

    Going solo, YHC opted for a decent run (YHC’s version of “decent”). YHC estimates 5 miles. Initial route was back to the asphalt trails, then left onto a dirt track that ended at a closed bridge (purple ball trail?). From there, take a dirt track along the lake. YHC must have been the first runner/walker of the day based on the number and intensity of spider webs. Eventually, the track intersects one of the asphalt trails. Keep to the left, eventually passing a super cool archery course. Who knew? Continue past picnic areas, beach volleyball, and onto the pickleball / tennis area. Continue around the entire loop back to the flag. Check the time, and then do most of that again. Say hello to the nice folks walking (unbelievable numbers of people use the walking loop), avoid the aggressive dogs, and inhale the second hand marijuana smoke of a very nice man with two pit bulls and some sweet dreads. All in a morning run.

    Back to the shovel flag, and a few minutes to spare for more stretching and some standard F3 classic exercises to round out the hour.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS, Round 3: another AO left unguarded, this time it was Rock and Roll. With a new Q. Who is a first-time PAX at the AO. And, with that, the right to Q anytime YHC shows up going forward has been invoked in perpetuity. It’s been 7 years since this happened. But, never 3 times in one day. YHC basically owns SOJ now.

    Even Omar / Renaissance was not around.

    That said, the walkers in the park are super nice. They do, however, look at you with a crooked eye when you run the main road / loop counter-clockwise. People who smoke in church don’t draw those types of stares. I guess YHC is not in Kansas anymore.

    And, it’s fair to say that Fart Sacking F3 and just attending the Latino Market is fully encouraged. That’s an AO YHC will be back for.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • If I Own Morning Wood, I’ll Guess I’ll Own Broga, Too

    ONE pax looked left, right, and left again before crossing over the walking path to do a few minutes of Broga, solo-style. Temperatures remained a constant 70 and sunny. According to two bucks (6 point and 10 point, YHC guesses who watched YHC on the prior run), the following might have happened.

    Stretch. Stretch right. Stretch left. Chest stretch. Back Stretch. Leg Stretch. Other Leg Stretch. And, so forth. No shivasavan today. YHC didn’t want anyone calling 911 when they saw a sweaty, slightly overweight guy laying down in the parking lot, alone.

    YHC notes: If the PAX desire to increase their feelings of self-importance, do Broga in a mostly-deserted parking lot during daylight while others walk by. Bystanders will watch you.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out.

    NMS: 6:30, and still…zero PAX. That’s a second AO left unguarded / unattended in one day. With a new Q. Who is a first-time PAX at the AO. And, with that, the right to Q anytime YHC shows up going forward has been invoked in perpetuity.

    As YHC mentioned in the Morning Wood BB, YHC thinks maybe 2016/17 or super early ‘18 was the last time we left a PAX to Q a new-to-them AO alone. Heaven’s Gate!

    I guess I can Q it anytime I want now.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • White Dashed Line Express

    ONE Pax lined up at the start of a steamy morning, Rockwood Park-style, for the latest edition of The Clinic Morning Wood. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to the walkers sauntering counter-clockwise around the loop, the following might have happened.

    Arrive 5:45, having scouted the AO on Friday. Proceed to the new meeting spot. Plant the flag.

    5:50. Stretch.

    5:55. Listen to the crickets. Stretch.

    5:59. Really? Not one guy? No worries. The Clinic takeover has begun.

    6:00. Run the loop. Start with the Solid White Dash loop (or, YHC thinks that’s the one).

    Route: Head from the parking spot along the gravel driveway-ish thing to the second entrance gate. Stay on the asphalt path, dodging minor fallen branches. Eventually, arrive at the Nature Center. Continue on various permutations of the asphalt paths and / or the park look until 6:25.

    6:26…arrive at the shovel flag.

    Number, name, and YHC took himself out…

    NMS: It’s the Homegrown Half day, but still…zero PAX? That’s an AO left unguarded. With a new Q. Who is a first-time PAX at the AO. And, with that, the right to Q anytime YHC shows up going forward has been invoked in perpetuity. This does not happen often (probably, it should never happen). But, given how often YHC hits Morning Wood (1st time), it’s a good little spot. That said, YHC thinks maybe 2016/17 or super early ‘18 was the last time we left a PAX to Q a new-to-them AO alone. YHC will look for the old BB. Heaven’s Gate or Green Acres in DaVille, if memory serves.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Omar Joins the Pax

    Two Pax, one runner and one very, very LIFO, joined up for the latest edition of The Clinic. Temperatures were 70 and sunny. According to Nathan, a random guy in front of the hotel who clip boarded for the Pax, the following might have happened.

    YHC ran the normal route. 4.5 or so, including stopping for Fudd.

    Upon returning to the VSF, YHC chatted with Omar, YHC’s pal who is the handyman at the hotel. When YHC started doing Fudd’s wife, Omar said, “Oh, you are doing push-ups. Let’s do some.” Omar suggested a contest. YHC conceded that this was not necessary. YHC invites any PAX member who can win this contest to join – you drink free for the evening. We agreed to start with sets of 20, with YHC doing HRMs. But, form counts. You know it when you see it. YHC took about 30 seconds to do 20 HRMs. Same as any other set of 20. Omar took about 2 minutes. He did Swirly merkins, holding at the bottom on each one for 5 seconds or so. YHC is playing checkers; Omar plays chess.

    Numbers, names, and Omar took us out. He’ll get a name at some point. Renaissance and a few others are options.

  • You Don’t Need to See the Ball

    Seven strode onto the hard courts of south Richmond for the latest presentation of Batteau, Pickleball Edition. Conditions court side remained 70 and sunny. According to the neighbors calling 911 with reports of noise violations, the following might have happened.

    Quick disclaimer. But, not THAT disclaimer. The other disclaimer – the one about “watch out for the ball catcher obstructions between courts.

    Mosey around the courts while waiting for the sun to arrive.

    Lap 1: jog around courts. Mutually assist in avoiding obstructions.

    Lap 2: parking space tracers, sideways slides, Bernie Sanders, etc. YHC completely forgets Disclaimer and destroys one of the barriers. Cue the laugh track and lessons from the chapter of Freed to Lead on Clysdale’s Physics.

    Circle up. Quick Disclaimer, so quick the Pax might have missed it.

    COP:

    1,000,000 SSHs
    Dead Man Hang
    Fudd’s Wife
    Right leg high, left leg high, various legs and arms high.
    Wilson’s Wife
    Pigeon right / left

    Sufficient light present for white balls. Let’s go!

    Round 1:

    Court 1: NTB / Orange Crush vs. Whitesnake / YHC

    Court 2: Sable, Tryhard, Hitchhiker round robin.

    Round 2:

    Court 1: Sable / Tryhard vs. Whitesnake / NTB (YHC thinks these were the pairings)

    Court 2: Hitchhiker / Orange Crush vs. YHC

    Time called at 06:15, at the end of the Hitch/OC vs. YHC match, or exactly when Tryhard dropped the hammer of a slam on Whitesnake & Co. Tryhard might have been in The Kitchen, but VAR did not overrule the point.

    Numbers, names, and NTB took us out.

    Announcements:

    • ONGOING – Summer Tour
    • 7/29-8/4 – Westhoe Takeover
    • 8/3 – Homegrown Half. Big debate on whether to meet at Betty Weaver or Robious Landing. Local guy says Betty Weaver. Rain location: Robious Landing. 06:00, or get there by 5:55 a.m. if you aren’t sure of the location.
    • 8/4 – 6-8am Holy Water Bootcamp. Swim with your pals. Open to all men, always free.
    • 8/6 – Ultimate Frisbee Tournament at NoToll. Sign up. Really. No Wildcatting. Ahem, Wildcat the guy is welcome. But, pre-registration is required.
    • 8/11 – F3 Family Float on the James. Somewhere between the confluence of the Jackson and Cowpasture Rivers and the Chesapeake Bay.
    • 8/17 – Pickleball Tourney. Forest Hill Park. Find a partner. Sign up in advance. Or, contact Oyster and make him do the work for you.
    • 8/18 – 6-8am Holy Water Bootcamp.
    • 8/21 – 100th Bday Q by Upchuck. First Watch. 05:00.
    • 8/28 – New AO at Mosely Elementary.
    • More cool stuff throughout the fall…

    NMS: Notable moments included NTB checking the strings on his paddle, the aforementioned Tryhard slam, and multiple Orange Crush shots between the legs (for real). He’s got skills.

    UpChuck spits the bit.

  • Breaking Bread – Please, No More Lasagna. We Want Ham and Potatoes!

    9 guests, one worker, and one guest join in Personhood to celebrate the latest edition of Breaking Bread. Conditions were 70 and sunny. According to the sweet older lady who YHC has seen several times over the years, the following might have been served.

    Baked ham, King’s Hawaiian rolls, Dad’s Mashed Potatoes (🥔 Upchuck’s version), and green beans (UpChuck’s version).

    Many thank you’s were expressed for F3, whether lasagna or this evening’s dinner. Those folks love them some F3 (as does Sharon, the new Barbara).

    No numbers, no names, but a gentleman, out of nowhere, said a wonderful blessing.

    If you haven’t done Breaking Bread, grab a pal, whip up a menu, scratch together a couple of dishes, and insist on being part of serving the dinner (do not let Sharon tell you to just go home). Chat with the residents, learn a bit, and push yourself (don’t hurt yourself) in a non-workout context. It’s a reward to learn how much we are given in life.

    YHC thanks his M., Carrie, for her help (though YHC candidly claims credit for the green beans, potatoes, and rolls).

    UpChuck spits the bit.