Author: Whitesnake

  • In da Brunch Club

    When I pull out up front, you see the Honda on dubs
    When we roll 4 deep, it’s 4 miles in Brunch club
    Dogpilers heard I fuck with Vinny, now they show me no love
    When you only run 3 you know you’re in Breakfast Club,
    But, Lighthouse know, nothing change here with the pre run
    I see Mr. Rogers in Slack, he roll with the crowd that gives up
    If you watch how I move, you’ll mistake me for a runner or a pimp
    Been hit wit’ a few injuries, but I don’t walk wit’ a limp

    In the hood, in the Pump, they saying “Snake you hot like Dunkin”
    They like me, I want them to love me like they love Youngkin
    But holla, in RVA them Dogpilers tell ya I’m loco
    And the plan is to put the Brunch club game in a chokehold
    I’m full of focused man, my running on my mind
    Pinto also got 4 miles out the deal and is still on the grind
    Now Gomer said he feeling my style, he feeling my flow
    Even he showed up and is ready to go

    You can find me in Brunch club, 4 miles full of fun
    Look, Doggie pilers, we own the pre-run
    We’re into running four, not into jogging just for love
    But come to Breakfast club, if you into getting rubbed

  • She’ll like it too!

    Five warriors, either 50+ or feeling 50+ felt reborn this morning. Did they hit GNC for some Nugenix? Was it a post Valentine’s day buzz? Or was it running 3.3 miles, stopping every ~.5 miles to do 20 of an ab exercise and 10 burpees? You have to show up to know.

    But as a special Slack offer, WaThohuk is offering a complimentary two-week sample of its AO to viewers who text in the special promo code “DoyourwriteupsRogerRoger” to his cell. Plus, as an added bonus, customers can also receive a free sample bottle of Currahee weight loss supplement with their order.

    Act now!

  • A Brit, a Ukrainian and an American walk into bar after running 4 miles…

    Panting, the Brit tells the barkeep, “Give us ten shots of your best whiskey—quick!” So the barkeep sets them up and the three men knock them all back in seconds.

    “Why you drinking so fast?” asks the barkeep.

    “You’d drink fast too if you had what we have,” says the Urkrainian

    “Why, what do you have?” asks the barkeep.

    “Only twelve cents.”

  • Mythology of White Deer

    The Chickasaw story “Ghost of White Deer” is one of the most well known Native American legends.  I am going to tell it terribly and wrongly.

    A brave young Circus Maximus warrior, Atilla, fell in love with Bright Moon, the daughter of a chief (possibly a F3 runner with recent knee troubles). The chief did not like the young man, so he created a price for the bride that he was sure Atilla could not pay.

    “Bring me the hide of White Deer,” said the chief. The Circus Maximus believed that all white animals were magical. “The price for my daughter is one White Deer,” the chief laughed. He knew that an albino deer was very rare and would be very hard to find. White Deerskin was the best material to use in a wedding dress, and the best White Deer skin came from the albino deer.

    Atilla went to text and then went to his beloved, Bright Moon. “In one moon’s time, I will return with your bride price and we will be married. This I promise you.” Taking his best bow and his sharpest arrows, Atilla began to hunt.

    Three weeks went by. Atilla was hungry, lonely, still gassy and scratched by briars. Then, one night during a full moon, Atilla saw White Deer, who seemed to drift through the moonlight in a weird side straddle hop. White Deer walked around the school, leading Atilla, a down range Garden Nomad and the other six Circus Maximus band of brothers on an upper body focused workout.  At each red door, they did 10-20 reps of either curls, halos, lawn mower pulls, high pulls, sit and press along with some lunges, step ups and death crawls.

    At the end, when the deer was very close to where Atilla grunted, he shot his sharpest arrow. The arrow sank deep into the deer’s heart. But instead of sinking to its knees to die, White Deer began to run (which has not been seen for years). Instead of running away, he charged straight toward Atilla, with his red eyes glowing and his horns sharp and menacing…

    Time passed and Atilla did not return as he had promised Bright Moon. But Bright Moon never took any other young man as a husband, for she had a secret. When the moon was shining as brightly as her name, Bright Moon would often see White Deer in the smoke of the campfire, doing his weird side straddle hop, with an arrow in his heart. She lived believing White Deer would finally fall, and Atilla would return.

    To this day White Deer is sacred to the Circus Maximus people.

  • 9 Alte Fürze

    Attila and Handshake in a little toy shop
    Buy a gun to shoot a balloon with the money they’ve got
    Set them free at the break of dawn
    ‘Til one by one, the balloon was gone
    Back at base, sparks in the software
    Flash the message “Something’s out there”
    Floating in the summer sky
    9 Heartbreak studs go by
    (music break)

    9 benign Heartbreak studs
    Warming up in the summer sky
    Panic bells, it’s red alert
    There’s something here from somewhere else
    The Global Warming springs to life
    Opens up Honeydo’s eye
    Focusing it on the sky
    The 9 benign Heartbreak studs go by

    99 Decision Street
    It is time for BLIMPS to meet
    To worry, worry, super scurry
    Call the BLIMPS out in a hurry
    This is what we’ve waited for
    This is it boys, this is war
    Whitesnake Q is on the line
    As 9 benign Heartbreak studs run by

    9 knights on the baseball field
    Ride super high-tech jet fighters
    Everyone’s a Merkin hero
    Everyone’s a Burpee Jerk
    With orders to identify
    WWIIs and classify
    Squatting in the summer sky
    As 9 benign Heartbreak studs go by
    (music fades)

    99 dreams Handshake had
    In every one, an Attila grunt
    It’s all over, and he’s standing pretty
    In this dust that was a city
    If he could find a souvenir
    Just to prove he was here
    And then Attilla’s busting ass
    He thinks of Handshake, and let’s another one go

  • This cold…sucks

    Lighthouse!
    Roger Roger!
    Hard hearted harbingers of Polly’s haggis!

    Beautiful!
    Bemused!
    Bellicose runners!

    Untrusting!
    Unknowing!
    Unstrect-ed?

    “He wants you back!” Whitesnake screams into the night air
    Like a fireman Ed going to
    A window that has no fire
    Except his passion for the Brunch Club…

    I am cold!
    Running 4 miles is really hard!
    This cold (and poem), sucks.

  • Seven Deadly Sins

    Seven studs came out on a Saturday morning to enjoy a rare Whitesnake Gridiron Q. According to what’s in the box, this is what happened:

    Warm ups of 20 SSH, 10 Hillbilly Rocketes,15 IW, 10 Helicopters, 10 Cherry Pickers.

    Pride: the group partnered up and successfully did a Dora of 100 Merkins, 200 WWIIs and 300 squats with runs to the 50 yardline for the partner not doing the exercises.

    Greed: after running to the basketball courts in the back, we wanted more and did 4 corners of 10 merkins, 20 american hammers, 30 LBCs, 40 SSH. Repeating exercises on the way back from each corner.

    Lust: I longed to repeat what Pucker did Thursday at Mary so we hit the tennis courts and did what I am now calling a Pucker. At each court (4), run up to the net on the doubles line, shuttle left to singles line, bernie back to service line, shuttle left to the center service line, run to the net, shuttle to the singles line, bernie all the way back and shuttle to the next court. Did this 4 times and then reverso to now shuttle right.

    Envy: Run back to the school. Partnered up at the school courtyard as I longed for one more person so we could have even groups. One partner did poll smokers while the other ran to fence and did 5 burpees and ran back to switch. Did this 4 times.

    Gluttony: for punishment. ran to the lower field and did a Bear crawl up the small hill between fields, 10 LBCs at top, run down, repeat, 4 sets.

    Wrath: Just enough time to push through a quarter pounder at the main field. 25 HRM at the 25, 50 reverse crunches at the 50, 75 mountain climbers at the 75, 100 SSH at the 100. Bernie back between each.

    Sloth: Starbucks for all 7 and super comfy chairs for 3 of us.

    Ended up doing 2.7 miles plus all the exercises and the Pax killed it. Prayers for Pigskin, Gomer and Fudd as they travel back today & prayers for Gail (friend of J-ville’s mom).

  • Brunch: An Origination Story

    We ran 3.7 miles and talked of fruit trees, knee pain and other nonsense.

    Why should you come to Brunch: Wiki says the term Brunch was coined in Britain in 1895 to describe a Sunday meal for “Saturday-night carousers”:

    “…brunch would make life brighter for Saturday-night carousers. It would promote human happiness in other ways as well.

    “Brunch is cheerful, sociable and inciting”, Beringer wrote. “It is talk-compelling. It puts you in a good temper, it makes you satisfied with yourself and your fellow beings, it sweeps away the worries and cobwebs of the week.”

    — William Grimes, “At Brunch, the More Bizarre the Better” New York Times, 1998

    —Whitesnake, Brunch post, F3rva.org, 2023

  • This is how you do a write-up

    This is how you do it
    It’s after Tuesday night, and I feel alright
    The party is here on the West Side
    So I reach for my 40 yr old friends and we run it up
    Designated runner, hide the keys to my truck
    Go back to the Poca’ cause I’m faded
    Honies in the street say, “Whitesnake, yo, we made it!”
    It feels so good in my hood tonight
    Run a double quarter pounder with the guys in Kani
    All the other gangbangers forgot about the AO drive-by
    You gotta get your shuttle runs in, before you go get paid
    So tip up your cup, do an indian run
    And let me hear the Pax say

    I’m kinda tired after 3.1 miles (This is how you do it)
    Three Chopt does it like nobody does (This is how you do it)
    To all my neighbors, you got much flavor (This is how you do it)
    Brick and Roger Roger, bring the old school writeup back (this is how we do it)

  • I just can’t get enough

    Polly was in a weird mood and sang to me the entire 3 1/2 miles:

    We run together
    We’re running down the street
    And I just can’t get enough
    And I just can’t get enough
    Every time I think of Brunch Club
    I know we have to run
    And I just can’t get enough
    And I just can’t get enough

    Must have been from the Depeche Mode cover band he saw Friday night. It also prepared us for Attilla at Gridiron:

    So we’re different colours and we’re different creeds
    And different people have different needs
    It’s obvious Attilla hates us, though we’ve done nothing wrong
    Even though he knows us, what could we have done?