6 HIMs showed up on a beautiful dark Thursday morning to play Ultimate Football. Some slept in…(Couch)….Lights lit up the arena and the game was commenced with what we thought was honor and respect for the catching abilities some possess.
Teams were selected:
Team 1 = Crabby, Festivus, & Cookie
Team 2 = Fandango, Hei-Hei- & Flyboy.
Team 1 and Team 2 exchanged early blows in TDs to be tied 2-2 … BUT THEN… Team 2 exploded and scored multiple times with rigorous combinations that Team 1 didn’t know what hit them to put Team 1 up 5-2… Team 2 had the playing ability edge here with their fast feet and hands… Team 1, not so much hands. So, going through the rules, Team 1 looked at their deceptive hands a knew that they couldn’t win with these sloppy, clumsy, useless hands… they opted to using the kicking rule for 2 TDs worth and succeeded in their first attempt with Crabby kicking it through the uprights. 5-4 now. Team 2 struck back with a kick of their own to show HOW EASY it was and Team 1 tried again but Crabby couldn’t find the magic anymore. 7-4 now. Team 1 kicked again, missing,… kicked again, making it and then added on a solo TD to tie the game 7 -7 with time just barely on the clock. Team 2 played the game RIGHT… THEY PLAYED THE GAME RIGHT! But Team 1 NEEDED to kick again and ended up going over the time and it ended in a TIE. Officially a TIE. 7-7
Had the kick rule not been implemented… Had “baby P.I.” not been called on Hei-Hei… Had Festivus not sunk so low as to bloody Hei -Hei in the lip to slow him down… Had all these factors not have happened… Team 1 was the real losers today with the score truly being 5 -3… Team 2 won the game… the pure game of Ultimate Football…
However, because Team 1 couldn’t play ball like men, they were gifted points from kicks and the score was 9 -7 off a Festivus kick (Yawn).
Highlights:
Team 1 kicks because they can’t f***ing play with their hands….
Team 2 was masterful: Hei-Hei laying out for passes, Fandango being a pornstar hitting chests with his balls, and Flyboy using his burst of 5 second speed to run past the snoring Team 1 to score some amazing catches.
COT – Stuff this Friday with F3 and wings and pool, Rucking 9.11, and we prayed for us having a beautiful day.