The Mission
The PAX gathered this morning not just to get better, but to assist the Q in a high-stakes, fraternal negotiation. After a certain unnamed brother-in-arms held the Q’s two daughters’ shoes hostage following a recent drop-off, a classic F3 headlock ensued: “You want the glass slippers back? You have to Q a beatdown at a brand new location.”
Hostage situation accepted. Ransom paid in full via sweat, coupons, and a 100-yard field of pain. Here is how it went down:
The Warm-Up (COP)
After a brief disclaimer ensuring everyone knew we were lifting heavy metal at our own risk, we kicked off with a standard warm-up to prep the shoulders and hips:
- Side Straddle Hops (SSH)
- Imperial Squat Walkers
- Cherry Pickers
- Don Quixotes
- Arm Circles (Forward & Reverse)
- The Opus
- World’s Greatest Stretch
The Thang
Part 1: The Coupon Field Walk
The PAX grabbed their coupons (kettlebells) and hit the goal line of the football field.
- Every 10 yards, the PAX performed 5 Single-Arm Coupon Cleans on the Right arm, and 5 on the Left arm.
- We then Mule Carried the coupons to the next 10-yard line and repeated all the way down the field.
- On the return trip, we modified the spacing to every 20 yards, executing 5 Row Your Boat Merkins (Merkin + Right Row + Left Row = 1 Rep) at each stop.
Part 2: Far End Zone “Triple Check”
Once the PAX successfully navigated the field, we locked into a three-man Grinder rotation to really max out the clock:
- Partner 1 (The Timer): Sprinted the entire length of the 100-yard football field and back.
- Partner 2: Max reps of Kettlebell Overhead Presses.
- Partner 3: Max reps of World War II Sit-ups.
- The PAX rotated through until everyone completed the full 300-yard sprint.
Part 3: The Near End Zone Burnout & Return
To finish off the field work, the PAX circled up for a final abdominal smoke-show:
- American Hammers (In Cadence) until the core was completely spent.
- The Hill Climb: We picked up our coupons for one final, heavy mosey up the hill back to the shovel flag.
COT (Circle of Trust)
- Count-o-rama & Name-o-rama
- Announcements & Prayer Requests
Moleskin: Huge respect to the PAX for embracing the coupon work today and helping the Q redeem himself as a father. The shoes have been secured, the legs are burning, and the leadership bars have been raised. It’s an honor to lead you men. See you in the gloom next time!