The Burp Cannal

Written by

MACHINEHEAD

in

Named for its resemblance to giving birth, the burp canal was introduced today and is explained below in part 2 of the thang.

Warm-A-Rama

  • The Mosey: Long mosey all the way around the perimeter of all the fields, wrapping up dead center in the middle of one of the soccer fields.
  • The Circle:
  • 30 Side Straddle Hops (4-count IC)
  • 10 Don Quixotes (4-count IC)
  • 15 Cherry Pickers (4-count IC)
  • 5 World’s Greatest Stretches (On each side, holding the deep runner’s lunge and T-spine rotation)

The Thang

Part 1: The Core Ignition (8 Minutes)

Straight from the warm-up into a sustained core block to build structural tension for the rest of the morning.

  • 30 World War IIs (Single count)
  • 30 American Hammers (4-count IC)
  • 30 Plank Jacks (4-count IC)
  • 30 Freddy Mercurys (4-count IC)
  • Static Plank Hold (Until the 8-minute buzzer)

Part 2: “The Burp Canal” (Burpee Circle)

The Pax split into groups of three for a continuous, high-speed rotation. One man drops for 2 burpees while the other two partners stand guard and shout out the cumulative escalating count in unison.

  • The Clock: 15 intense minute or 250 burpees whichever come first.
  • The Champions: L woods, Dookie, and Last Call took the crown, pushing their group’s running total to a massive 250 total burpees.

Part 3: The Winner’s Choice Dora (1-2-3 Split)

As the victors of the Burp Canal, the winning trio earned the right to call the exercises for the Dora, keeping the rep scheme but changing up the movements:

  • 100 LBCs (Little Baby Crunches)
  • 200 Monkey Humpers
  • 300 Raise the Roofs
  • Timer: Partner 1 runs the soccer field lap while Partner 2 works through the reps.

Part 4: The Toll Road

  • The Reverse Mosey: Jogged backwards tracking the exact path we took to get out to the soccer fields.
  • Paying the Toll: Stopped at the toll point to pay up before hitting the home stretch:
  • 30 Durkins (Decline Merkins)
  • 20 Downward Merkins

Mary & COT

  • Returned to the basketball courts for a targeted 8-minute cool-down consisting of various ab exercises and deep lower-back stretches to unpack the spine after all those monkey humpers.
  • Count-a-rama, Name-a-rama, and a prayer of gratitude.

Naked Moleskin

Fifteen minutes of continuous burpees is a mental game as much as a physical one. Watching the counts climb past 100, then 200, all while shouting over each other in the dark is what F3 is all about. An incredible effort by L woods, Dookie, and Last Call to set the pace at 250 reps. Letting the winning group select the Dora exercises was a brutal twist—turns out “Raise the Roofs” feels like cruel and unusual punishment by rep 200 after that many burpees. Clean work out there, men.

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