Frog of the Rings

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Seven Would-Be Warriors

Sun barely cracked the gray,

fog still thick on the trail.

Seven Would-Be Warriors

shouldered their 10-pound ring weights—

the ones they called Cock Rings—

and started the climb.

Dirt underfoot, roots reaching up

like they wanted a piece of someone.

They sprinted the hill anyway,

breath tearing, legs burning,

trying not to catch a toe and eat earth.

Hundreds of deep curl squats

hammered out between the runs.

Merkins in the gloom.

Pull-ups in rotation on whatever low bar would hold.

A wall climb that left hands raw.

More pull-ups.

Then the finish:

two full minutes of Mary-style burpees,

chest to dirt, jump and clap,

over and over

until the call of time finally cut them loose.

Seven of them,

breathing hard in the early light,

still standing.

Names, Numbers, Prayers and announcements.

Nancy prayed in his elegant form

for our sinful ways.

It was great seeing Mr. Rogers at the Dog Pile!

Have a great weekend, gents. Thanks for letting me lead!