Author: crabgrass

  • Yip, Yip, Hooray!

    To what may seem like a runaway victory for the Yips over the Patriot Games, YHC made sure there was some skin in the game as we pranced around Timberwolf throwing discs at chains. According to the YouTube videos Cookie watched, here’s what happened…

    split into two teams, then matched up 1v1. Each match tee’d off from a different hole and we played all 7 holes. Yips won 4 out of 5 matches, but fun was had by all. Advantage #1 goes to Yips

    Side note – where I grew up, if you tell someone you’re “going to smoke them” it means you’re going to beat them badly at whatever competition awaits. I don’t know what “going to smoke you” means in Indiana, but it doesn’t mean that…

    Next up: long drive. There’s 57,600 square feet of real estate on a football field, and Rudy managed to miss all of it. Cookie wasted no time showing that he is a quick learner, and threw a bomb. Advantage #2 Yips

    Next Up: closest to the pin. Like lemmings, we all went to the same spot except one brave soul who dared to cross the track and actually attempt to hit the rack. I cant remember if it was 3 Doors or Boberry, but somebody put some english on the biscuit and got it close to the hole. Advantage Patriot Games

    With a few minutes to spare, we horsed around with laps around the track hanging in the balance.

    NEXT WEEK: Boys of Summer Cup (Ultimate Football) – just like the President’s Cup, the regular season doesn’t matter, this is for all the bragging rights.

    Prayers – Fandango’s family as he lays his father to rest and celebrating Pad Thai’s new niece.

    Convergence GRIDIRON 7/4 1am
    Join us Thursday 6/25 @ X GOLF Westchester 7-9pm

  • The Rich Get Richer

    Perfect morning for some Kickball today! Dirt on the field just got a fresh raking and was nice and flat for us. With the official Tomahawk Creek Middle School regulation kickball in our possession, let’s mosey!

    No need for a warm-up we’re ready to play. Split teams up, 6 for Patriot Games and 7 for Yips. Since Rudy was reppin Benny the Jet and not AB, sportsmanship was at an all-time high so we agreed Pad Thai was the most honorable amongst the thieves, so he would pitch to his own team and field the ball honorably (which he did!)

    Yips had a plan, take all of our Beatdown Currency and give it to Warby at 2nd base, which was used strategically to thwart any advancements to 3rd base. OC missed the memo.

    The game started off tight at 1-1 when YHC and his golden boot opened things up with a 3 run homerun. Patriots inched back, but a rally in the 6th by the Yips gave us a commanding lead, but PG got scrappy, scored some runs, and threatened a comeback. Unlike the Spurs, the Yips shut it down and walked away victorious and are now up 4-1 on BOS.

    Shoutouts!
    Warby – good fielding and handing out the cash
    Wildcat – when he says “I got it” it’s 50/50
    3 Doors Down – caught everything that came his way
    OC – big kicks!
    Rudy – it was an honor to catch your best kick of the day
    Pad Thai – excellent pitching
    Festivus – that 3rd to 1st is a tough throw

  • Gauntlet

    Woodsman is BACK, so YHC broke out one of his favorites today – the Gauntlet returned to Alamo and we conquered by 17 HIMs.

    Mosey around the cul-de-sac and back. We all know what’s up, no time for stretching, let’s get to it!

    2 burpees to enter
    8x Sandbag Thrusters
    8x KB Swings
    8x Banded Merkins
    8x Curl Press w/cinder
    8x Cinder Squats
    8x Banded Jump Squats
    Sprint to top of hill, mosey back

    Rinse & Repeat for 45 minutes

    Special thanks to Heist for providing comic relief and coffee today!

    L Woods event + ruck next weekend

    Prayers – The Duke family friend, Rudy and his opportunity to speak with the youth at his church

  • NBA Jam (F3 Style)

    BOOMSHAKALAKA! Welcome back to the hardwood, gladiators — let’s break down the tape!

    KNOCKOUT — TIP-OFF CHAOS The Patriot Games came out RED HOT, sprinting to a 7-on-1 advantage before the announcers could even sit down. HE’S ON FIRE! Flyboy reached deep into the vault for his signature move — tapping other men’s balls (joke fully intended, no regard for human life) — sending shooter after shooter to the bench. Hei Hei gave it the ol’ college try… PUTS UP A BRICK! DENIED. Patriots draw first blood. YIPS DOWN 0-1.

    THE SPLIT — THREE GAMES, ONE FLOOR

    🏀 2v2: Cookie and Crabgrass rose up as the TWIN TOWERS, swatting everything in the paint. Rudy and Futon could not solve the skyscrapers — GET THAT OUTTA HERE! — falling 10-6. KABOOM.

    🏀 2v2: Duke and Gotham jumped out to an early lead and were feeling themselves… but then Wildcat HEATED UP. HE’S ON FIRE! From WAY DOWNTOWN — the big three drops! RAZZLE DAZZLE, Wildcat slams the door and closes out the W.

    🏀 3v3: Folks, we lost the broadcast feed on this one. All we know is it was a MASSACRE — the kind of carnage the Oregon Trail hasn’t seen since the last wagon forded the river and lost three oxen and a child named Timmy. WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE!

    THE MAIN EVENT — 5v5 FULL COURT, SUBS LIVE The Duke put the whole squad on his back and CARRIED — a one-man wrecking crew. But the Yips brought the height, the maturity, and frankly the good looks, and it was JUST. TOO. MUCH. Down to the wire, the Patriots had a shot to tie it at the buzzer… INTERCEPTED! TURNOVER ends the game! YIPS WIN, 3-1.

    IS IT THE SHOES? Doesn’t matter — the Yips now lead the series 3-1. BOOMSHAKALAKA. 🔥

  • OWN IT BRO!!!!

    Sometimes…you just want to hear someone say it!!!

    Boys of summer never disappoints. Today we were 14 strong who came out to battle the wet field left behind from yesterday’s storms. According to the Apples, here’s what went down.

    LIST OF TRANSGRESSIONS:

    Yips:
    – Rudy had bad posture, got his weight on his toes, and his bad form caused a light tap to feel like a big push

    Patriot Games:
    – Questionable End zone size & placement. This took two scores off the board for Festivus
    – Erroneous out-of-bounds calls to throw off rhythm
    – Futon with some very aggressive defensive chest bumping
    – Switched the ball at kick-off to a slicker, oddly colored ball
    – Rubbing the ball in the wet grass, falling a step behind…
    – Fandango not making a football move before securing the catch
    – Wanting to change the rules of BEATDOWN Currency

    Luckily, fortune favors the bold and the Yips rose above it (just like Warby did in the back corner of the end zone) and came out victorious 9-6 (9-7?)

    Shoutouts:

    • Rudy had an early drop, the Yips did their battlecry and we could tell it was on like Donkey Kong from there!
    • Yips debuted a new uniform to the delight of many
    • Cookie had the best throw of the day!
    • Da Bear with a pick 6 – Freight train!
    • Boberry making plays all over the field
    • Duke needs to ice up his Nutzy tonight

    Biggest success of the day was hearing that Big Rig’s mom’s scans came back clear, praise the Lord!

    Next week – Basketball!

    Yips 2, Patriot Games 1

  • BOS – Ultimate Frisbee

    Timberwolf was jam packed today! According to the geese doing flyovers, here’s what went down.

    Made our way down to the field and set up cones, but with 22 HIMs we needed a bigger boat, so we widened just a tad. Patriot Games were eager to get going, but the Yips wanted to warm-up. YHC split teams up evenly 12-10. It may only be Flyboys second post in 2026, but he doesn’t miss a beat and we settled at 11-11.

    Both teams came out executing their playbook to perfection, moving the disc up and down the field with a few aggressive swings at that plate along the way. The first 20 minutes gave us a close 3-2 match.

    The YIPS started to get a groove, tightened up their defense, and took DTH’s advice to heart and stuck to the ground and pound short game. Hei Hei, Festivus, Cookie, OC, DK, Wildcat, Pad Thai, Trespass worked the middle like poetry in motion. Da Bear, Yoda and YHC worked the sidelines and played Legion of Boom-era defense.

    Patriot Games played better than the score would infer. Between the 20s they were moving, but in the red zone they couldn’t quite get a rhythm. Rudy pulled an Antonio Brown – had a great catch at NoToll and let it go to his head. He got paid and focused more on songs written about him and his bonus, forgetting what got him here in the first place. Snip has a 99% accuracy rating, but 1% of the time he throws it to Powhatan. Machismo dominated the middle of the field, and Fandango got more cardio in today than he has this year.

    YIPS victorious 8-3.

    Beatdown currency has been handed out, be sure to use it to your advantage! a $20 firecracker is making it’s way north…

    Good to see some NOS brothers join us today! All are welcome to come out next week for some Ultimate Football – same rules, different object.

    Good luck Trespass in your interview today.

  • Dodgeball

    A beautiful 70 degree morning to kick things off with Boys of Summer, The Yips versus Patriot Games. Today did not disappoint!

    15 HIMs came out to dodge, duck, and dive their way through madness. The odd numbers required a gentleman’s duel to see who got the advantage. Warby > Rudy

    Game 1 – Classic Dodgeball rules. Get out once, 5 burpees, twice – run the field and back, three times – have a seat. Winner: Yips

    Game 2 – King of the Castle. Each team nominates one player to be the king, and like chess, when your king goes down, you lose. Festivus vs McGruff. Winner: Yips

    Game 3 – Kick the Can. 3 cans stood on each side, first to knock them all down wins. Winner: Patriot Games

    Game 4 – Hefty Lefty’s. Classic rules, but you can only use your non-dominant hand to throw. This was a very entertaining battle, most HIMs have a wet noodle for a left arm. We shrunk the battlefield to speed up the game. Winner: Patriot Games

    Game 5 – Kick the Can 2.0, Patriot Games game of choice (since it doesn’t require them to knock out the Yips to win). closely contested match, had to go to double overtime that involved several rule changes that led to chaos. Eventually though, a dart from either Futon or Pad Thai ended the match, right at 6:15…just as YHC planned.

    ***Editorial note: YHC could see that Rudy was taking the gentleman’s duel loss pretty hard with his team going down 1-0, so YHC gave them the 1-man advantage to lift his spirits. Rudy, find a way to pay it forward today, buddy.

    Patriot Games are up 1-0 on the Yips after week 1. The Yips are proud to welcome Meatball and Pad Thai to our team, and Patriot Games are pumped to have McGruff! Big Rig’s little rig was not harmed today

    Next week: Ultimate Frisbee

    Prayers for Meatball as he looks for a job, Big Rig and his mom’s scans, continued support for Christian.

  • BOS Combine

    8 STUDS came out this morning to test their mettle against the best of the best, and they did not disappoint! Coach Crabgrass and Coach Matlock had their whistles ready, let’s mosey!

    Dodgeball
    First test – a duel style turn and fire. 3 attempts each, turn and fire the dodgeball and knock out a solo cup from the fence
    Second test – dodging. 1 v 2, the 2 get 9 balls to throw at the 1, who must dodge them all. Fandango and Da Bear were dancing bears today

    Basketball
    Suicides for time
    Free throw > layup > full court layup > 3 pointer to show off the skillz
    half court shot for points

    Running
    3 cone drill
    40 yard dash – Da Bear is not a guy I want running after me!

    Football
    FG attempts. ONLY Boberry made it, heck he may have been the only one who got it high enough off the ground.

    Frisbee
    30 yard throws into the net (and in the wind) showed we have some work to do if we want to beat NOS
    Pick a partner and throw a GO route
    disc golf, see how many shots it take to get to the basket

    Finish with some dodgeball to warm up for next week. Big Rig got jacked in the Little Rig twice. Hope he’s feeling OK

  • Don’t Skip Leg Day

    A motley crew of 8 came out to stretch for 45 minutes and watch a pretty pink sunrise. To the chagrin of the New Market clowns, YHC had other plans. Let’s get some leg work in!

    Longer-than-normal into a warmup with an obscene amount of SSH and intermittent light stretching.

    The THANG – Build A Beast

    Too bad Rudy slept in today, he would’ve learned how to do a proper BAB!
    6/6/6/6/6/6 Firecrackers > Monkey Humpers > Flyboys > MTN Climbers > Lunges > SSH

    Circle up at the flag for MORE SSH, Merkins, and abs to take us out. Great work today fellas!

    ANNOUNCEMENTS – Boys Of Summer kicks off tomorrow at TWOLF. Come out for a combine-style workout. NTB going away 5/16, Convergence 5/25 @ Dogpile

    PRAYERS – Christian and his results, Harrell family

  • May the Fourth

    https://claude.ai/public/artifacts/de13e548-9725-4b1c-98f1-f54b538a178c

    A long time ago in a parking lot not so far away…

    The PAX assembled in the darkness. No one new the suffering that awaited.

    The dark side of fitness called to them. But the force – and the Q – was strong.

    Armed with nothing but their bodies, and a serious lack of sleep, they would face the Empire, and each other.

    May the fourth be with you. Always

    Link above for the beatdown. Welcome to Patrick “Autotune” Newbie, the latest FNG to make his way out to Alamo. He is neighbors with Futon and they’re daughters go to school together. He is a music producer and a lot of his stuff can be heard on the radio.

    Prayers for Christian & Rudy