Author: Fireman Ed

  • Monkey humpers near the Yard Sale

    16 Pax regulars including a spirited young new regular went to Short Pump to workout and clean litter from last night’s workouts.

    COP: DQs, jazzercise, merkins, arm circles, cherry pickers, freddies. Mosey to football field.

    Cumulative go ten yards, do 10 of an exercise. Then 10 and 20 yards 20 exercises, 10, 20 and 30, 10, 20 30 and 40 and lastly 10, 20, 30,40 and 50. Exercises were merkins, WWIIs, 2 count mountain climbers, jump squats and SSHs.

    Mosey to other side and repeato with 10 HRMs (50 total), 20 Irish hammers (80 total), 30 Carolina Dry docks (90 total), 40 squats (80 total) and 50 LBCs (50 total). 80 Irish hammers suc%s pretty bad.

    Mosey to field next to yard sale. Dora with 50 burpees, 150 American hammers and 250 monkey humpers. I did not look at the yard sale to see if the patrons were admiring our monkey humper form. I did notice a number of more mature folk; that may be what Pigskin would be doing if he didn’t kick so much a#s. Mosey back to home base.

    Triple check with balls to the wall, flutter kicks and a run around most of the parking lot. Finished with DQs, a dancing exercise suggested by Fire Chicken and Dead Man Hang.

    Closed in prayer for Charlotte, Mary and those looking for work and/or suffering from the drought. I am told that Upchuck may be looking for a replacement for the Bridge. Coffeeteria was good as always. Thanks for letting me lead!

    Fireman Ed

  • One person really hates burpees

    17 studs of Westhoe came to get ready for pool and beach season. Although there were a few regulars missing, a couple newbies and semi-regulars took their spot.

    COP: Helicopter, invisible jump rope, DQs (I always do these), HRMs, MCs and Freddies. Mosey to benches.

    Elevens with 2 count steps and shoulder presses. It seemed like a lot of freakin step ups (Gypsy was vocal about that; Gypsy is never shy). Mosey to different part of bus loop.

    Catch me if you can: Partner 1 carries both KBs around the bus loop. Partner 2 does 3 burpees and then runs to Partner 1 and voila the switch happens. Upchuck however did his best to minimize burpees by running with both KBs (unbelievably faster than he runs without weights). I did not know that Upchuck hated burpees so much.

    Catch me if you can 2: Partner 1 curls with one bell, Partner 2 3 burpees and catch up to Partner 1. Mosey to curb in bus loop.

    20s with 3 sets each of bench press, coupon flutters and overhead pulls (which I called tricep pulldowns). Run bus loop

    20s with 3 sets each of coupon squats, high pulls and calf raises.

    Mosey back with rifle carry; numberama. Only announcement is that Upchuck is looking for a replacement for site Q of the Bridge. It does not mean you need to Q it; just need to make sure someone Qs each month and a couple other things. Reach out to Upchuck if you are considering.

    Thanks for letting me lead.

    Fireman Ed (Prediction: Jets take Arvell Reese with the second pick in the 2026 NFL draft).

  • 53 with a greeting party of Fire trucks.

    On my birthday Q (actually tomorrow is my birthday but close enough) 13 PAX (12 for the workout, one extra for the early morning ruck) came to Short Pump North and ended up with a high dose of cardio. As I arrived there were multiple fire trucks at Short Pump Middle and PAX thought that I had orchestrated there for my birthday. If only I were that cool.

    COP: DQs, arm circles, Irish hammers, Freddies, HRMs, MCs, LBCs

    Curb crawls: Up to 5 breathe, down to 1, then up to 3 back down to 1. Mosey to small parking lot near fire trucks.

    Five corners/Pentagonal shape – Cumulative but not prostitute style. 10 HRMs, 20 WWIIs, 30 2 count Mountain climbers, 40 squats, 53 LBCs. Mosey to field as fire trucks are leaving.

    Dora from middle of field. One runs around the goal post, Other partakes in 53 burpees, 153 2 count American hammers, then 253 SSHs. This is where the cardio got real my friends. Mosey slowly to playground with the cushy surface.

    25 PLTs then 28 more PLTs. The math equals….

    Triple check with derkins, flutter kicks and run to the bathroom and back. Despite our average age, no one needed to go to the bathroom. Finished with stretching.

    Announcements: Please consider taking the Bridge site Q from Upchuck. Prayers for Handshake’s niece, Fudd’s sister, Wojo’s mother, Roger Roger’s father n law and Prophet’s (sp?)friend.

    Thanks for letting me lead. Enjoy your weekend.

  • With all the shizzle going on the world, at least we have F3.

    21 dudes met at the Circus in search of fellowship, a KB beatdown and probably coffee. The number 21 brought back an old memory of an internship interview on my 21st birthday after a night of celebrating the big birthday. Let’s just say I did not get that job.

    COP: The usual – DQs, helicopters, HRMs, FMs and plank jacks (somewhat usual). Mosey to back of school.

    Call out a type of carry. Once done do two sets of 20 of an exercise.

    Rifle carry – swings

    Rifle carry – lawnmower pulls

    Triceps while moseying – sit and press

    Around the world – no exercise this time

    4 corners – 10 burpees, 20 Irish hammers (I am starting to like those), 30 2 count mountain climbers, 40 coupon squats.

    Mosey to Pump Road side of school. Halos one way then halos the other way. 2 sets of 20 calf raises. Around the world; mosey to bus loop.

    Death crawls – 2 sets tricep pull downs.

    Lunges back to base or at least close to base.

    Finished with a couple of ab exercises and stretching.

    Upchuck needs a replacement for Bridge site Q. Prayers for Handshake’s niece Charlotte and Fudd’s sister Mary. Come out for my birthday Q Saturday at Gridiron if you like. Geno Smith is back with the Jets because he was great the first time he played for them. Thanks for letting me lead!

  • Lenten Themed Beatdown

    18 PAX came in for a warm slightly wet weather beatdown. Since Lent has 40 days I attempted to make 40 applicable to each exercise. The workout started (with Fudd only being one minute late and me butchering part of the COP trying to make fun of Fudd – sorry Fudd. My daughter used to tell me I am funny once a month – she may actually be accurate.) Anyway, the workout went as follows:

    COP: SOS – DQs, helicopters, merkins, MCs, arm circles and Freddies. Mosey to bus loop.

    Cumulative exercises: 5 burpees, 10 sit and press, 20 squats, 30 curls and 40 bench presses.

    4 corners cumulative(My tendency is to come up with unique corners that end up not being corners. I guess we did three corners with a repeat of one corner). 10 tricep pull downs, 20 high pulls, 30 halos (15 each direction – Seymour is a world class haloer) and 40 lawnmower pulls – 20 each arm.

    Lindseys: swings and calf raises. I am told ladies like a man with muscular calves. The last set of swings was challenging.

    Finished at home base with stretching.

    Good to see a couple of not as regulars and have an age range of 9 to 73. Slightly frozen triangle is this Saturday. We think that Bodos is doing his 10 year anniversary Q at Dogpile this Saturday. He may sprinkle some Lenten wisdom. Prayers for Upchuck’s friends, one of whom is not likely making it past this week, Fudd’s sister Mary and Handshake’s niece Charlotte. I was told that I led a very calm beatdown this morning. Big shout out goes to Handshake for escalating the resolution of a burst water pipe issue at my house a couple weeks ago. Great job!

    Thanks for letting me lead!

    Fireman Ed

  • Winter Olympics at the Boneyard

    12 Pax braved the cold and icy conditions to embark on the Milano de Gridiron Boneyard Olympics. Contests consisted of sledding, winter golf and ice discus throwing.

    While the workout conditions may have led to high levels of modifying, fun and some exercise was completed.

    COP: typical Fireman Ed stuff including DQs, helicopters, jazzercise, mercans, arm circles and LBCs.

    1. Sledding – one Pax sledded across the field being pushed by PAX #2, Pax 3 is supposed to do step ups, PAX 4 was supposed to do derkins. Everyone gets a gold for participating.
    2. Ice putting competition – 2 pax lunged or bear crawled half way across the field and back and then tried a 20 foot ice putt into a hole in the ice. Other PAX did various exercises, some even did the exercise that I asked them to do. Worked on abs, legs and arms. Whitesnake won the gold, Tater the silver, I think I won the bronze (I hit one putt in).
    3. Discuss curling. Throw a discuss with the target being the bottom of the goal post. Closest to the goal post gets the gold medal. I called various exercises for those watching the thrower. Some did the exercises that I called; others modified. Tater won the gold, Whitesnake the silver and everyone else gets a bronze for participating.
      • Finished the workout with 5 burpees and some stretching.
    4. Was a fun time with all the PAX. I knew it would be interesting today when some strange individual was doing donuts in a Volvo when I arrived. Oh that was Pinto! Frozen triangle next week (watch it hit 50 and all the ice melts just in time). Prayers for everyone to be safe and for Fudd’s sister, Handshake’s niece and Gypsy’s step father. It was good to see Lighthouse and Gypsy at coffeeteria. They did not want to embark on this low step workout. Thanks for letting me lead. Fireman Ed signs off.

  • We were able to feel each other’s bells

    17 PAX arrived in the windy confines of Mills Godwin HS ready to work on their physiques for pool season in just over 4 months. It was a relatively quiet and odor free crew.

    COP: DQs, 1 burpee OYO, Helicopters, 2 burpees OYO, Jazzercise – 3 burpees OYO, merkins – 4 burpees OYO, Freddies – 5 burpees OYO little bit of stretching. Head to bus loop

    Quadruple triple check with Squat Thrusters, chest press, curls for the ladies and the pacer runs to the end of bus loop does 1 burpee and then runs back. Stay in bus loop

    Death crawls for a couple hundred feet, lunge for a couple hundred feet, rifle carry and then halos each side. The halos got really tough (or my shoulders are week or both). mosey to nearby wall.

    Tried a new exercise which was wall sit, pass someone’s bell do two curls pass it to your buddy to the right. This took awhile and we were able to handle/touch everyone’s bell. Some bells were large and heavy, some not so much. You do the best you can with the bell that you have. Add in 10 donkey kicks. Go to side of school for Dora time.

    Dora: 50 burpees, 100 coupon American hammers, 150 coupon calf raises.

    Finished with a DMH for a minute.

    Bridge on 1/24 – talk to Pigskin if you are interested. If you have not been yet, please strongly consider attending. Good cause and a good time in one. Frozen triangle – 2/7 – see slack for details.

    Prayers for Fudd’s sister, Handshake’s niece, Gypsy’s father n’ law and all those who are suffering or recovering from the flu.

    Thanks for letting me lead!

    Fireman Ed

  • Exploring Other holidays, sort of.

    19 PAX showed up for the last Gridiron before Christmas. Fireman Ed decided that as important as Christmas is, we need to remember there are other holidays celebrated around the same time period. So he decided to honor Channukah and Kwanzaa this morning.

    COP: DQs, invisible jump ropes, helicopters, HRMs, MCs, FMs, Heels to heaven, ACs. Mosey to Stryker field.

    Channukah/Hannukah Beast: Instead of a beast with 6 sets of 6, we get the joy of 8 sets of 8. Set 1 (confusion happened due to Ed having all 8 sets occuring in one direction instead of 4 up and 4 back). This set was merkins. Set 2 (jump squats), Set 3 (WWIIs), Set 4 – HRMs – this was hard especially after Handshake my form was not great. I stopped here but 8 nights are just too crazy for me.

    Kwanzaa Korners: Kwanzaa is a 7 day holiday so instead of 4 corners we shall do 7 corners. I did have them zig zag some so we could create 7 corners. This consisted of 10 burpees, 20 WW1s, 30 2 count mountain climbers, 40 carolina dry docks, 50 squats, 60 SSHs and 70 LBCs.

    Back to Christmas: Each PAX chooses their favorite exercise for 12 reps. Props to Gomer for milking some time with a 12 count shazam. Props to those PAX for did their exercises in cadence vs. OYO. PAX did a good job mixing it up with abs and arms.

    Finished with a set of 25 PLTs.

    My apologies for somewhat bastardizing two good holiday celebrations but I am trying to be inclusive.

    Announcements: Pinto party this afternoon at his house. Reach out to him for details. Wood chopping at Blue Moon’s house today. Bridge next Saturday; contact Kubota for details. My remission party at my house next Saturday 12/27. Convergence on 1/1 at 7 a.m. at Dogpile.

    Prayers for Fudd’s sister Mary, Handshake’s niece Charlotte, Gypsy’s stepfather Kelly, my finishing my cancer pills this morning and those who lost someone over the last year. Go Dukes (although I can’t see them beating the Ducks). Coffeeteria had a special adult beverage element (thanks J’ville). Thanks for letting me lead.

    Fireman Ed

  • Flatulent Flutters

    19 PAX said I am not fartsacking on this cold morning and pursued a more sculpted body for the holiday. While they did not fartsack, they sure did their best to create warmth for others.

    COP: DQs, Helicopters, jazzercise, arm circles, merkins, Freddy Mercuries. Mosey to bus loop.

    Triple check with run to end of bus loop and back (gotta do some cardio), coupon squats and curls for the ladies. Mosey to curb.

    20s which are lawnmowers and swings need to equal 20. Did a bunch of sets with a run around the loop in the middle. Mosey to courtyard which is 30 feet away.

    Triple check with rifle carry around the courtyard, coupon flutters and pole smokers. This generated a symphony of hot air; the temperature is certain spots was 5 degrees warmer. This group is pretty skilled at this “art” but today seemed more frequent and at times more potent.

    Lunge back to home base. 30 bench presses and some stretching, numberama.

    Prayers for a family member of Gypsy’s named Kelly who is starting treatment for prostate cancer. Speaking of treatment I finish mine in two weeks and will be in remission.

    Pinto is having an F3 party on 12/20 (as Pinto for more details. It is at his house, starts at 5 and goes into late in the PM). I am having a gathering at my house on 12/27 to celebrate remission. More details forthcoming. Kubota is heading up the Bridge on 12/27; let him know if you are interested. Breaking bread needs someone for Sunday 12/28. Lots happening my friends.

    Thanks for letting me lead!

    FIreman Ed

  • Don’t prepare a 45 minute workout for a 60 minute AO

    13 PAX showed up to Pickleballville expecting a beat down and they got one, slightly improvised.

    COP: Helicopters, Jazzercise, arm circles, HRMs, MCs and LBCs. Hey I have 5 coupons. Let’s Mosey.

    Elevens of diamond merkins and jump squats with a little moseying with coupons. For some reason, the passing of the coupons was not understood until they saw me take the coupon one way, see me pass it to Byproduct and then viola!!

    Triple check: Derkins, coupon curls and run around the field goal post. Mosey to playground.

    Another triple check: Flutters with coupon presses, heels to heaven and run to second lightpost on left.

    Mosey to home base/bathroom wall: wall sits with pass the coupon after a press, donkey kicks, 5 burpees (because White Deer started b%^ching) and 10 HRMs. Repeato.

    That was my workout and it was 7:45. Need to fill up another 15 minutes. Curb crawls to 5 down to 1 and then one set of 25 PLTs. Then American hammers, Freddie Mercuries and some stretches.

    Bridge on 11/15 – see EF Hutton for details or let him know if you are interested. Thanksgiving workout 7 a.m. at Mary Mumford. Make sure you know where the closest AED is located at each AO (located at the building next to the main football field) and have someone with a phone on them (thank you Pigskin). Prayers are with Fudd’s sister, Handshake’s neice and others looking for work or going through health issues. Go Jets (is the over under on the Cleveland matchup 15). Also was nice that everyone that worked out went to coffee! Thanks for letting me lead!

    Fireman Ed