Author: Last Call

  • Moose Knuckle, anyone, anyone..

    A vibrant 15 emerged from the warmth and safety of their conditioned stallions to endure the elements presented to them on this crisp, clear morn. 30 seconds turned into 15 and so we began. According to the parked motorist, this is how it went down.

    Mosey to the courts for a slaughter start of suicides. Upon completion, let us travel to the familiar surroundings of the main parking lot for introductions, disclaimers and warmups that included DQ’s, Helis, Jazzercise, Merkins, Freddie Mercuries, LBC’s and Suzanne Summers. All is well with the world, so lets get into it.

    COP 1: Dumpster 11’s: Donkey Kicks along the dumpsters, run around the islands to the posts for Pole Smokers. Return to the dumpsters and continue to count down/up. NTB and Doozy were jack rabbits.

    COP 2: Hundreds: Short Wosey to the fields line up along the touchline where 100 exercises are performed and upon completion by 1 person, run across to the trees to await the next exercise selected by the front running bastard. 4 rounds of exercises which included squats, flutters (2 count), shoulder taps, SSH’s.

    COP 3: Circle up for a bit of Broga on the field. Stretching what ails you. Childs pose, down dog, pigeon ending with shavasana.

    Indigenous People run BTTVF. Last man does 2 burpees and sprints to the front. Circle up for a bit of ab work including WWII’s and Rosalita Dips. Numbers, Names, Announcements and Prayers.

    Announcements: Frozen Triangle Saturday 2/10 6 am launch at Dogpile. Numerous upcoming Ruck options including Wednesday 2/7 @ 5.30 launch at Huguenot Flatwater, ruck to Pony Pasture. Run miles with Don Draper at MOT. 42 laps starting at 5 am on Wednesday 2/7. Prayers for Doozy’s uncle as he awaits a heart donor. See Slack if I missed something.

    NMS: Great numbers at No Toll thru colder conditions. Great mumble chatter regarding fitness attire and other fashion trends, both top and bottoms. Strong work this morning gents. Appreciate the opportunity to enjoy the company. We are all stronger together. Well done.

  • Park It Like You Stole It

    7 FW regulars and 1 lost soul in jorts rose from the late night storms before many others to assess the effects to fine the ideal sunny and 70 conditions along River Road. No timepiece or Handshake coming in hot to provide launchtime so under 1-800’s guidance, we go.

    Mosey across the street to the front of the church for introductions, disclaimers and a short warm up that included SSH’s, DQ’s, Dead Man Hang and Helis. Lets get going.

    Long Mosey down River to Westham stopping a Club Vista. Travelling COP down Club Vista included Ukrainian Soldiers, Lunges, Karoke right and left, High Knees. Mosey down College Drive to Keller to begin a travelling Lindsay. 30 Curbside Merkins/10 2 ct Mountain Climbers. Continue mosey to the Greek Theater stopping along with way for 2 more Lindsay reps and to pay homage to speed bump burpees.

    Arrive at the Greek Theater. 5 dips at each step on the way to stage where Senor Frog was preparing a 1 man show. Partner Up for 2 person Triple Check. Partner 1 runs to the top of the theater and back, Partner 2 box jumps the stage steps. 3 rounds. 5 merkins at each step on the way back out of the Theater.

    After a short Wosey, Mosey back towards College Drive paying homage to the speed bumps and completed the Lindsay. Mosey back up College to River, stopping at the newly illuminated UofR sign for 30 monkey humpers for the passerbys. Stop at SAABs driveway for 30 APD’s. BTTVF for quick AB Ring of Fire.

    Numbers/Names/Announcements/No Prayers. YHC took us out.

    Announcements: Ruck Training for some upcoming event in May. Frozen Triangle coming in February. See Slack to participate or help out with both great events.

    NMS: Smaller FW group with many FW regulars out for variety of ailments. Hopeful of a swift recovery for everyone as mumblechatter was less mumble with these absences. Be mindful when Bodos enters parking lots as his brakes work well. Thank you gents for the opportunity to lead this morning. Always great to get out and travel around the campus.

  • Complimentary Breakfast

    A trio of trio early risers woke with desires of complimentary breakfast and fire within the inner workings of their pants. With the smells of warm eggs and bacon in the distance, here is what was accomplished as seen from the late shift smoking nurses.

    Mosey to the large parking lot to collect any late arrivals. While we waited, lets introduce ourselves, disclaim as needed and begin with 40 SSH’s. Arrivals complete, lets continue to mosey to less windy areas of the AO. To the far corner of the lush green fields of No Toll where we continued with Deadman Hang, Heli’s and Jazzercise. Continue onto corner 3 for Ukrainian Soldiers, Imperial Walkers and Mountain Climbers. All is right with the world.

    Mosey thru the woods and across the street into the Johnston Willis parking lot. 4 corners with 10 HR Merkins, 20 WWII’s, 30 Monkey Humpers, 40 LBC’s. Run the long stretches, Bear Crawl the shorts. Felt so good, lets run it again with an increase of 5 reps at each exercise. Broad Jumps replaced Bear Crawls. Warm up complete, lets hit the main course.

    Mosey to the quaint pickleball courts across the street. 6 courts with 2 sides each = 12 areas for exercise. 20 reps each brocode style. Exercises included squats, american hammers, merkins, scrunchy frogs (Doozy request), rosalitas, calf raises, carolina dry docks, high knees (in place), gorilla humpers (nice and wide), jump squats (per Snuff), mountain climbers, burpees (10). Everyone seems content so lets mosey BTTVF with some head lamps working. Cut back thru the fields with a brief stop at the bridge to pay the toll with 20 incline merkins, 20 dips.

    Ring of Fire, Ab style. PAX holds legs 6″ while each person takes 10 ab exercises of their choice no repeatos. Finished with 90 seconds of shavasana.

    Numbers, Names, Prayer Requests, Announcements. YHC took us out

    Prayers for Red Card as he returns home from his missionary efforts. Come out tomorrow at SOT for a Honeymoon beatdown. Prayers for brothers in various stages of physical recovery as they continue to come out or will return in the near future. DTH birthday surprise to be held @ Forge on Thursday.

    F3RVA shirts available for order until Sunday. Variety of sizes and flavors. Get yours soon thru slack. Mr. Roper requests everyone use his name and credit card.

    NMS: Always good to get off campus a bit. YHC followed Machismo’s earlier path to the previously unknown pickleball courts in effort to stay dry and enjoy some new terrain. Cooler temps led to the fart sack feeling extra toasty this morning, YHC was honored to have a strong turn out. Thank you gents for the opportunity to lead. Good times were had by some but the mumble chatter is always strong with this group of men. Awesome work fellas.

  • One….

    A studly pair of trios responded to the SOJ Kettlebell bat signal ready for some ground and pound. Here is what the early dog walkers and security cameras witnessed.

    Park the KB’s on the sidewalk and take a quick tour around the school to see what areas are illuminated. Stopped at the blacktop for introductions, disclaimers and a very efficient warm up that included DQ’s, Helis, Jazzercise, Merkins, WWII’s (these were harder today for some reason), Freddies and Rosalitas. All seemed right with the world, so let us begin.

    Brocode Lindsey back to the starting point. Exercises were Jump Squats and Carolina Dry Docks performed at various places along the way as we made our way back to the Kettlebells.

    4 rounds of Circle work with the Kettlebells. 1st round, timer ran around the school, rotate group exercise; 2nd round, timer runs to the woods and back, rotate group exercise; Rounds 3 & 4, timer runs the bus loop, rotate group exercise selected by returning timer.

    Time was called. Numbers, names, Prayers & Announcements. YHC took us out.

    Prayers to Gumbos friends family as they work thru some health challenges with their youngest in Nova while their father is on an extended business trip. Good update on Gumbo and his family. Prayers for patience to those traveling PAX during the upcoming holiday season with families and in-laws.

    Announcements: Tuckaruck tonight has been turned into a 2nd F at Lockjaws abode. See slack for deets.

    NMS: YHC has been trying to improve his kettlebell Q game. Would have failed miserably today without the support of the PAX in calling out a variety of exercises. Thank you brothers. Looking back while concocting the BB, some triple checks or Doras would have been a nice variety. Mumble chatter is always strong in circle workouts. Todays problems that were solved included emergency health care, college applications and upcoming out of town trips.

    Great work today gents. Thank you for getting me out.

  • By the light of the moon

    Seven candy starved regulars rose to the full moon to lighten up the areas darkest AO this side of the river. Weekend tales were spun as 5.30 struck. This is what was witnessed by the early morning walkers surveying the area.

    Introductions, disclaimers, motivational speaking and warm ups on the blacktop that including SSH, Dead Man Hang, Cherry Pickers, Shoulder Tap Merkins, LBC, Heels to Heaven completed with some stretching. Mosey to the well-lite corner to begin: 4 corners, lady of the evening style. 10 merkins, 20 WWII’s, 30 monkey humpers, 40 mountain climbers.

    Mosey up to the Field for Eye of the Hurricane: 4 stations, 20 reps each. After each station return to the center to perform 20 APD’s. Stations included pull ups, dips, donkey kicks, hanging V-ups.

    Mosey to the wall for Dora: 100 Hoedowns (Jack Lalines), 200 incline merkins, 300 LBC’s

    BTTVF for numbers/names/announcements. Splinter took us out with a quality message of reuniting with old friends.

    -Ruck planned 11/11 start at Twin Team to SOT and back. See Slack

    NMS: Ideal conditions for Hallows eve. Moon soaked AO was in prime condition with numbers spaces to remember the parking order. Well done this morning gents. Great way to start the week. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to lead.

  • Dry A*s Guarantee

    A trio of triples descended onto the plush turf of No Toll. Q was open until early morning when YHC took the reigns for a spontaneous beatdown for the ideal sunny and 70 conditions. According to the early morning dogwalkers and the late arriving prospects, this is what will be recorded in the annals of history.

    Mosey to our usual warm up location without any extra laps around the AO and paid tolls. Introductions, disclaimers and warm ups of various concentrations both standing, planking and sixing. All was right with the world, so let us begin.

    Mosey to the bleachers for Triple Check. Dips, Step Ups while timer runs across the bridge around the 4 curbs back over the 2nd bridge. 3 rounds each. Mosey to the parking lot for another triple check. Curb Crawls, Pole Smokers, Timer runs around 4 curbs again.

    4 corners. 10 Hand Release Merkins, 20 WWII’s, 30 Monkey Humpers, 40 Mountain Climbers. Round 2: Same exercises add 5 reps each, reverse order.

    Back to the basketball courts. Indigenous People Lunge around the courts. Man in front performs 2 burpees runs around the courts and takes up the rear. Continue this for 2 rounds while PAX lunges around the courts.

    Numbers, Names, Prayers, Announcements. YHC took us out.

    Twin Team to SOT Ruck happening on 11/11. Sell Slack for deets.

    NMS: Strong PAX today with the rumbling of SOJ takeover north of the river by many of the No Toll regulars. Not the most strenuous beatdown but plenty of cardio and many of the PAX appreciated remaining dry. Good to have the lights back on at No Toll, looks like county paid the Dominion bill. Thank you Gents for providing the mumble chatter and the comradery.

  • Early Morning Shavasana

    A pair of SOJ Brogiis braved the hostilities across the river to get some limbering exercises in before many had risen from their warm slumber. The call went out for Broga late Tuesday as ideal conditions were enjoyed. Shoulders, hips, hammys and back were the emphasis today. Warrior II, Cobra, Peacock and the always popular pigeon were widely enjoyed followed by an elongated Shavasana. Well done Chappy. Thank you for encouraging me this morning.

  • Poor Attempt to Silence the Mumble Chatter

    Nine Legends of the Morn rose before most to take on the cooler temps at RVA’s earliest social club. 5 am hour struck so let us begin.

    Mosey to the front of the church across the grassy knoll for disclaimers and introductions. Warm ups included speedy SSH’s, DQ’s, Dead Man Hang, Cherry Pickers, Freddies, LBC’s, Merkins and Pickle Pounders. Quick taste of Broga was mixed in to work out the groin area.

    Short Mosey to the rear parking lot to begin 4 corners, lady of the evening. 10 Merkins, 20 WWII’s, 30 Squats, 40 Monkey Humpers using the entire parking lot.

    Mosey to the steps for triple check. LBC’s, Balls to the Wall, Runner runs the middle loop.

    Wosey to the side for 11’s. Donkey Kicks, bear crawl to the opposite side for Shoulder Taps (2 count), Lunge back.

    BTTVF for 5 squats. Numbers, Names, Announcements, Prayers.

    Announcements: October is open for Breaking Bread. T-Claps to Bone Thugs and Fudd for stepping up this weekend. See Slack for all the other Happenings.

    NMS: YHC had intentions on heading down to the plush fields this morning but staying dry was the much more pleasant option. Mumble chatter is always strong at FW especially with Ronnie’s return. Good to see 1-800 pop his FW cherry. Coffee was had by some afterwards, only 1 cup though.

    Great works gents. Thank you for the always showing up and starting hump day right.

  • No Toll Carolers

    A hearty group of 10 enjoyed the pleasant sunny and 70 conditions that awaited us on the plush turf of Chesterfields finest AO. Upon McRibs’ arrival, we moseyed to the parking lot for introductions and disclaimers. Quick warm up included SSH, Helis, Dead Man Hang into Cherry Pickers, LBC’s, Boxing Cockroaches, Merkins with some Superman, with singing, as the icing on the cake. Everyone seemed loose and ready to go. Mosey to the fields.

    Triple Check #1: Timer runs across the field and back, dips on the bleachers, American Hammers.

    DORA: Partner up. 100 Pickle Pounders, 200 LBC’s, 300 Monkey Humpers. Timer runs across the bridge around the parking lot. 1st group missed out on the pickle trusting action, so rotated some extra work while awaiting the 6.

    Mosey to the far corner of the parking lot for Indigenous Pole Smokers. PAX grabs a pole and hold 6″. 1 person does 10 pole smokers and grabs the next available pole. Switched to 5 pole smokers after Round 1.

    Mosey back to the public restrooms for 2nd Triple Check of the Day: Hoedowns, Flutters, Timer runs to the playground and back.

    Still time on the clock. Circle up on the courts for Merkin Ring of Fire followed by APD’s for 1 minute.

    Numbers/Names/Announcements/Prayers. YHC took us out

    Announcements: Tacos with Friends with Oyster possibly paying: Thursday at Rusty Taco? in Westchester. Fall Ruck for Food is delayed to November 11th due to Boberrys popularity. Prayers to OC’s 2.0 for a swift recovery for his knee.

    NMS: Ideal conditions awaited us in the gloom. Cloud cover provided some good light for what has become a dark AO. YHC dusted off some old exercises and tried to incorporate some singing for Superman, needs some work, especially in the singing department. McRib was in good vocal harmony. Good times were had by some with Great times enjoyed by others. Thank you fellas for coming out to the finest AO in the RVA.

  • New Material Release

    A quartet of Broga regulaars rose before many to get some early moans and groans out in anticipation of the awaiting main course. Some popping and cracking among other releases were shared by the group. A few new moves were introduced with the areas of emphasis consisting of shoulders, hips, glutes, hammys and calves. Elongated shavasana was a nice climax as the cool morning air surrounded the Pax. Well done fellas.