The Warmarama
We kicked things off precisely on time with a quick, eye-opening jog over to the baseball diamonds to get the blood pumping. Once there, Machismo led the PAX through:
- Don Quixote’s / Ukrainian Soldiers
- Imperial Squatwalkers
- Merkins
- Freddie Mercurys
The Thang
Part 1: The Catch-Me-If-You-Can Nine of Diamonds
We launched into a… unique rendition of Nine of Diamonds, blending it with Catch-Me-If-You-Can style around the bases. We alternated movements between the bags and paused to hammer out 9 Pickle Pounders at every single base. Look, was it weird? Yes. Would the Q do it exactly the same way next time? The jury is still out. But did it work? Absolutely. An unprecedented volume of pickles were pounded.
Part 2: Four Corners (Prostitute Style)
Shifting over to the adjacent ball field, we hit a four corners rotation, dubbed “Prostitute Style.” The PAX hit each corner for a heavy dose of:
- 20 Squats
- 20 Merkins
- 20 Pickle Pounders (because you can never pound too many pickles)
- 20 Side Straddle Hops
Part 3: The Bus Lot Escalator
Next, we migrated to the vacant bus parking lot for a grueling Pickle Pounder Escalator. Spread across 14 total lines, the rep count ascended with every line. We started with 1 at the first line and worked our way up to 13, bear crawling the entire distance between the lines to keep the shoulders thoroughly smoking.
Part 4: Bank Seize 11s at Stony Point Church
We wrapped up the main event at Stony Point Church with a round of 11s on the bank. The plan was Inclined Merkins and Incline World War II sit-ups. However, gravity had other ideas. Once the PAX realized their silos were actively sliding down the grassy bank, we audibled on the fly to Decline World War IIs to keep from sliding completely out of bounds.
Mary
We wrapped up the morning with a solid 5 minutes of Mary to ensure the cores were thoroughly cooked before calling it a day.
Coffeeteria & COT
The coffee was spectacular, and the conversation was even better. The PAX traded culture recommendations, covering a wide spread of media:
- Movies: Inglourious Basterds, The Patriot, Rocky
- Books: The Bomber Mafia, Revenge of the Tipping Point, and Ben Sasse’s The Vanishing American Adult
Mumble Chatter of the Day: Ranger proudly flexed his newly found six-shooter action, offering to hold someone up for a premium caffeine fix and bring it to our next cafeteria following the beatdown. Watch your backs, men.
An excellent push by everyone today. Way to lead the men, Machismo!