Author: EF Hutton

  • Ode to Saabski

    Twelve PAX and no Q, up until 0525.  YHC likes this Saab classic and dislikes a Grove out’n’back. Thus here was the route: 

    All Runners:

    • Out the icy Batcave, across the shopping center, down Westham Station to S. Ridge, dogleg across River to Gaymont to University.

    4s:

    • Right on University, left on Westham Pkwy, Right on Lakewood, Left on College, through the Robins Center parking lot and home

    5s and 6s:

    • Left on University, quick right on Ralston, Left on University to Ziontown.

    5s:

    • Right on Holmes, dogleg across Ridge to Sunset to University, left on College, through the Robins Center parking lot and home

    6s:

    • Continue on Ziontown to Ridge, quick right, then left on Forest, right on Lindsay, left on Westham Pkwy, right on Waveny to Wood, left on Lakewood, left on College, through the Robins Center parking lot and home

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Cold temps make for faster runs.  The 5s arrived back at the flag with 5 minutes to spare.  With black ice through the Batcave thoughts of a quick trip over the bridge around the lake were quickly dismissed.  No idea if the 6s followed the route prescribed as they arrived back from different directions, but YHC will assume they were not left dissatisfied.  The 4s made it look easy.  Apologies to Saab for jacking your route.  Oh and Hail to the Washington Football Team.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    3rd F tonight, see Slack channel – Honeydo Q

    2nd F HDHH next Wednesday at Hardywood West Creek

  • Demonstration Please?

    YHC arrived to find BK had already secured the AO.  Flag was planted and twelve others joined the fun.

    Here’s what was done.

    Quick bit of SSHs for the LIFOs.

    Warm-up mosey down Lindsay, right on Forest, scare the S out of Forest Ave resident, right on Paris, continue on Hepler, left on Lindsay, and over to soft field behind the blacktop and parking lot.

    COP (IC)

    • Imaginary Invisible Jump Rope
    • Copperhead Squats
    • Russian Soldiers
    • Jazzercises
    • HR Merkins
    • Suzanne Somers L
    • Freddy Mercurys
    • Suzanne Somers R

    Mosey to the parking lot hill

    Dora (P1 exercise; P2 Bernie x 2)

    • 100 Merkins
    • 200 SSHs
    • 300 LBCs

    Mosey to blacktop behind basketball hoops

    Triple Check

    P1 – Dips

    P2 – Shoulder Taps

    P3 – Bear Crawl to fence and run back

    Mosey to cafeteria

    Wall Work (P1 exercise; P2 run loop)

    • Wall sit
    • Wall climb
    • Balls to the wall

    Mosey to the Flag

    Scissor Sisters (no explanation, ask for a demo) – 3 rounds

    Ring of Fire

    Burpees for time

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    The Pax was greeted by a beautiful cool morning with a few snowflakes floating to the ground.  All was fine and well until YHC pulled the Scissor Sisters routine from the anals of his Q playbook.  Yep, YHC said anals instead of annals because he’s quite certain the Pax would invite him to shove that one back up his anals.  Haven’t heard that many moans and groans since the instructor tried out his stand-up routine at last year’s annual CPA tax conference.  Thanks for sticking with me, YHC still had fun. 

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    None of note

  • Signs, Signs, Everywhere There’s Signs…

    ***ing up the scenery, breaking my mind, do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign? 4 Pax followed the signs to Punisher. Here’s what followed:

    EF Hutton Q

    Mosey a couple of laps around the parking lot. 

    COP

    • DQs
    • IWs
    • Helicopters
    • SSHs
    • Freddie Mercurys
    • Flutter Kicks
    • HRMs

    Mosey to tree at intersection of Laburnum and Hermitage

    Tree Line Escalator – Exercise at 1st Tree, Run back to start, Exercise 1st Tree + 2nd Tree, Run back to start, Exercise 1+2+3, Run…..Exercise 1-7 (20 reps of each exercise)

    1. Merkins (140 total)
    2. Squats (120)
    3. WWIIs (100)
    4. Monkey Humpers (80)
    5. Carolina Dry Docks (60)
    6. Flutter Kicks (40)
    7. Burpees (20)

    Quick bit O’Mary

    UpChuck Q

    Tesla’s Signs (Yes, YHC knows someone else sang it first)

    • 5 WWIIs per Sign (Adjust to Freddies and Reverse Crunches with a Crabwalk between)
    • 3 Burpees per Pole
    • 5 Lt. Dans per Handicapable Sign
    • 10 2ct. Flutter Kicks for Sign with color?

    Mosey around parking lot

    Quad Check (3 maybe 4 rounds)

    1. Run
    2. Monkey Humpers
    3. HRMs
    4. Bama Prom Dates

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    With Chum off in parts unknown, YHC stepped up and roped UpChuck into a hot potato Q.  With Animal’s transportation at risk for Grant Theft Cycle the Pax kept it close to the parking lot.  Holton Elementary sure loves their signs.  And UpChuck is starting to believe YHC may be a one trick pony.  As always, good to see the Triple Haters out pushing themselves, but not hurting themselves.  Chum, come back soon.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Animal and Flea’s band Wrong Worshipers will be recording an album soon– Congrats!

  • Mr. Do No Right

    With 2 newish regulars added to the mix, First Watch numbers remain consistent despite some of the original Redwoods’ absences.

    Here’s what transpired:

    Mosey to the church patio. 

    COP Hot Potato Style

    • SSHs
    • Cherry Pickers
    • DQs
    • Merkins
    • Reverse Crunches
    • LBCs
    • Suzanne Somers
    • Jazzercises

    Mosey back to rear corner of SF parking lot

    Endless Escalator – Exercise 1, Run a Lap, Exercise 1 + 2, Run a Lap, Exercise 1+2+3, Run…..Exercise 1-10 and Run a Lap (20 reps of each exercise)

    1. Merkins (200 total)
    2. Imperial Squat Walkers single count (180)
    3. WWIIs (160)
    4. Carolina Dry Docks (140)
    5. Dips (120)
    6. Crunchy Frogs (100)
    7. Block Curls (80)
    8. Block Thrusters (60)
    9. Heals to Heaven (40)
    10. Burpees (20) – No finishers, UpChuck came closest on the Burpees

    Mosey back to SF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    YHC’s typed exercise list generated some snickers from the PAX, but after a few rounds the routine proved no laughing matter.  Groans, moans, grunts, farts, and many other intimate UpChuck sounds say this workout was a smoker.  No one was able to finish, a slightly briefer COP next time will put the PAX right on time.  No official OSOTW award, however Handshake did recently enjoy the same cinema classic as Mr. and Mrs. Bone Thugs.  Praise that UpChuck’s MIL is doing pretty well, despite what she’d say about his FIL.  Great job by the youth movement and Last Call was never more than a few steps behind the lead PAX.  Solid 2nd F coffeteria with UpChuck and Handshake centered around ring tones, publications, and toll roads.  You had to be there.

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Convergence at Mary Munford Thanksgiving – 6am

    CSAUP Forest Hill Loops Black Friday – 7am, 8am, 9am, whenever you want to join

  • Chain Smokers

    3 Road Warriors made the trip from ET’s to DogPile, 4 made the trip back. Along the way Hitch told tales of his military days in which smoking was rewarded with a 10 minute break on the hour every hour. Non-smokers kept digging, naturally Hitch picked up smoking.

  • Oh! an Ark Loader

    Even Chum needs a night off, EF took the Q.  Here’s what went down.

    Mosey to the side field.

    COP (IC)

    • Invisible Jump Rope
    • Dead Man Hang
    • Imperial Walkers
    • Helicopters
    • HRMs
    • Elbow Plank
    • Box Cutters
    • Crabcakes

    Mosey back to parking lot triangle

    • Sprint, Mosey, Mosey
    • Sprint, Sprint, Mosey
    • Sprint, Sprint, Sprint

    Mosey to Bus Loop

    Ark Loader (move up and down loop)

    • Bear Crawl, Duck Walk, Crab Walk, Gorilla Shuffle, Polar Bear, Bunny Hop

    Mosey to BBall Court

    Merkin Ladder

    • 1 Merkin, run to other end, 2 Merkins, …up to 10, repeato and back down

    Mosey to back corner

    Double Trouble 1 (3 rounds)

    • P1 – Run to shelter x 10 Dips
    • P2 – Wall Sit

    Double Trouble 2 (3 rounds)

    • P1 – Reverse Plank
    • P2 – Lunge to tree and back

    Double Trouble 3 (3 rounds)

    • P1 – Wall Climb
    • P2 – Touch 3 different trees

    Mary

    • LBCs, Right Leg LBCs, Left Leg LBCs, No Leg LBCs, Reverse Crunch, Heals to Heaven

    Ring of Fire

    Mosey to VSF

    • Burpees x 3

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Perfect conditions for an evening beatdown.  The improvement in Animal and Flea is clear.  Very cool to see their work paying off.  Good to have Bowser (Chum’s 2.0) join the ranks and the banter with Flea and Animal is amusing.  Feels strange to YHC hearing crickets chirp during the Nameorama, but it’ll normalize in time. That Q probably felt a lot like a Chum Q, YHC steals from the OG all the time.

    Announcements –

    Thanksgiving Convergence – Mary 0600

    Black Friday CSAUP – Loops around Forest Hill Park 0700?

  • A Tradition Unlike Any Other – Covid Edition

    Twenty-six long strikers took to the links at Dogwood Dell in a quest for the elusive F3 Mudgear brand Green Jacket in perfect 70ish and sunny weather.  EF planted the flagstick.  Here’s how it went down.

    Mosey down Magnolia Lane to the driving range in front of the Amphitheater.

    COP (IC)

    • Copperhead Squats x 18
    • Helicopters x 18
    • Reverse Crunches x 18
    • Merkins x 18
    • SSHs x 40

    Mosey to the 11th

    Amen 4 Corners (4 rounds)

    • Carolina Dry Docks x 18
    • Mountain Climbers x 18 (2c)
    • LBCs x 18
    • Monkey Humpers x 18

    Plankorama

    Mosey to Rae’s Creekitheater

    • 18 steps down, 4 Derkins each
    • 18 steps up, 4 Dips each

    Cutline is set, then Hardywood led Plankorama w HRMs

    Mosey to the 16th and grab your golf bag (block)

    Drive, Chip, Putt

    • From tee box, hit the circle around the shovel flag – 3 block burpees per stroke, repeato 3 holes

    Mary on the 18th green

    • Freddie M. (Couples) x 18
    • Alphabet – spell AUGUSTA NATIONAL then PIMENTO CHEESE

    Mosey along cart path back to Clubhouse

    19TH GREEN

    Hello Friends.

    Down in Joe-ja some fine southern gentlemen put on a famous little golf tourney each April.  Thanks to Covid that tourney is coming up this week instead.  Up range here at Dogwood Country Club we have our own little tradition unlike any other.  The PAX, fooled by another milestone on the calendar, had little idea of what was to come, but was warmed up and ready to tee off at 0600.  UpChuck was unable to decipher the theme from the number of reps in the COP.  Harvard, my a$$.  During the 4 Corners, Swirly playing speed golf was crossing the Hogan Bridge while the rest of the PAX had yet to make the turn.   As the PAX teed off on ten, a nasty slice sent the PAX into the deep rough of the amphitheater, luckily the PAX was able to pull a 2012 Bubba and hit a miracle shot to get back out and save par.  Moseying over to 16 for the Drive, Chip, and Putt competition, YHC polled Gomer and Swirly, block or no block?  Obviously block.  Perhaps by design, the PAX was hitting range balls rather than Pro V1s making it difficult to reach the green and set ourselves up for birdie.  YHC is pretty certain the PAX was about 6 over through 3, but we’ll just put down 1-under on the ol’ scorecard.  It was the short game, and the long game that let the PAX down.  Never played golf without a few visits from the cart girls and some col’ beer, but it’s always a pleasure to get out and play, nonetheless.  Thanks to all for the birthday goodwill, may the PAX’s days be filled with Eagles and Birdies.  Until next year…

    Numberama

    Nameorama

    COT

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    1st Thanksgiving convergence – Virginia history Mary Munford 6am 1 hour

    Black Friday CSAUP – Forest Hill loops – preblast forthcoming

  • Pumphouse Church Roundabout

    Seven intrepid warriors put in miles before and after the main event. The PAX humored YHC and took the route less traveled. Cary to Freeman past City Stadium, Douglasdale, Rugby to Pumphouse Drive past the Church Roundabout and up the hill to the flag. 2.55 miles in, rougly 1.5 back.

  • Old Stomping Grounds

    Twelve PAX traveled north into the Sterlingwood neighborhood of near west end RVA. Here’s the route: 

    All Runners:

    • Around baseball field to College
    • Right on University
    • Right on Westham
    • Left on Baldwin

    4s:

    • Right on Patterson
    • Right on Hollins
    • Left on Woodberry
    • Right on Horsepen
    • Through the Fraternity Row fence and Robin’s Center parking lot
    • Back to flag

    5s:

    • Left on Patterson
    • Right on Valley
    • Right on Hillview (Pass Profit’s house)
    • Left on Ware (Pass EF’s old house)
    • Right on Granger
    • Right on Hillside
    • Left on Patterson
    • Right on Hollins
    • Left on Woodberry
    • Right on Horsepen through Fraternity Row
    • Left on College Rd
    • Right on Campus
    • Right on UR Drive
    • Back to flag

    6s:

    • Left on Patterson
    • Right on Valley
    • Right on Three Chopt
    • Right on Hillside
    • Left on Patterson
    • Right on Hollins
    • Left on Woodberry
    • Left on Horsepen
    • Reverso at Patterson down Horsepen through Fraternity Row
    • Left on College
    • Right on Campus
    • Right on UR Drive
    • Back to flag

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    Set out to make the route simpler than YHC’s last couple of attempts to Q SpiderRun.  On paper it looks like a heck of a lot of turns but it really was a very straight forward route except the 5’s quick trip through YHC’s old neighborhood.  No reports of lost PAX, so apparently it worked out.  Plenty of hills and plenty of downhill.  Horsepen is much better to go up than down.    

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Congrats to TYA, Saab, Gomer Pyle, Circle K, and Swiper for completing a heck of a CSAUP.

    Lift up Offshore and family as his MIL passed away

  • Revisionist History

    October 16th, 2015 F3 RVA was forever changed.  From that date forward every workout has mysteriously been 70 and sunny.  Here’s what transpired on the 5th anniversary (observed):

    Mosey to the Amphitheater.

    COP

    • Dead Man Hang
    • DQs
    • Copperhead Squats
    • Jazzercises
    • SSHs
    • Merkins
    • Suzanne Somers L/R
    • Freddie Mercurys

    Mosey toward Rusty Cage

    Triple Check

    • P1 – Run to Cage 10 Pullups and back
    • P2 – Monkey Humpers
    • P3 – Heals to Heaven

    Mosey to Front of Carillon

    Triple Check 2

    • P1 – Bear Crawl to Fence and 10 WWIIs
    • P2 – Hand Release Merkins
    • P3 – Imperial Squat Walkers

    Mosey to Bamboo Hut

    Triple Check 3

    • P1 – Wall Climbs
    • P2 – WWIIs
    • P3 – Run Loop

    Quick Mary

    • LBCs
    • Reverse Crunch

    Mosey to SF

    Numberama, Nameorama, COT

    MOLESKIN

    If there’s one thing YHC has learned over his years with F3 is that success takes an individual effort.  And when one accomplishes something however menial, it should be celebrated and self-focused.  The PAX gathered on this day not to become better but to marvel at YHCs accomplishment in hopes of gleaning just a smidge of greatness.  To truly celebrate this momentous occasion, YHC has put together a timeline of all the times he has inspired the PAX, achieved unconscionable feats of athleticism, and elevated the PAX to heights unimaginable.

    November 6, 1980 – A bandanaed baby is born unto the world and it was said “When this child speaks, people listen.”

    November 7, 1980 – The millennial generation begins.

    September 23, 1989 – Cople Elementary, PE teacher calls for Jumping Jacks, Sit-ups, and Push-ups.  The child says “No, we shall call them Side Straddle Hops, WWIIs, and Merkins” and it becomes true.

    December 31, 2010 – The Chosen One plants a seed in Charlotte, NC using a shovel attached to a flag.  That seed, with the help of a couple of dudes tapped to “Q” the next morning, sprouts and continues to spread, like Kudzu.

    September 2014 – The Kudzu reaches RVA.  Prophets, henceforth known as Corporate, are sent to prepare the way.

    October 16, 2015 – The PAX meets a friendly new guy and a light begins to shine on RVA.  This friendly new guy is baptized in sweat and given a new moniker and it is good.

    February 22, 2016 – Prophecy is fulfilled, EF Hutton speaks for the first time, the PAX listens.  Suddenly the rain at NoToll dries up and the fields become green and lush.

    February 2017 – Friendly competition amongst the PAX triggers a record keeping of data.  EF says to Splinter “the data is good, but make it Big.”

    April 6, 2017 – A golf tournament is held in Augusta, Georgia in honor of F3RVA’s “A Tradition Unlike Any Other”

    April 22, 2017 – America’s toughest road race is challenged by America’s toughest man, man wins

    July 11, 2017 – 2nd annual inaugural Home Run Derby, Hardywood launches a bomb headed for the stratosphere, EF says not today my friend, more burpees.  Ricky Henderson smiled.

    September 2017 – 2nd F is revolutionized when EF creates a new brand of football, something never seen or done before, this popular brand of football shall become known as fantasy football

    September 2017 – Civil War erupts among the PAX.  Fresh off a near death experience, EF leads his team to a come-from-behind BRR victory while bearcrawling to the finish line.

    April 7, 2018 – A new standard of excellence is established as EF completes the Corporate Challenge, few will ever again understand how this is actually done.

    April 13, 2018 – Team Tuckahoe brings home the Century Classic in dominating fashion as EF blows by Marcel Marceau in the darkness of Windsor Farms.  Marcel returns to the School for Mimes never to be heard from again.

    September 2019 – Rematch at BRR, in an act of mercy and extreme sportsmanship EF allows Team Corporate to cross the finish line first.

    September 2019 – 2nd F is once again revolutionized when EF creates a game now known as Cornhole.  Inspired to be the best, the Stache Bros retire from adult entertainment to train full time in the art of the bag toss.

    March 12, 2020 – EF joins the 500 club as officially recorded by Big Data

    October 14, 2020 – EF secures the AO on his 633rd recorded attempt, Swirly was proud

    Alright, alright, alright, maybe this timeline isn’t exactly true and my facts may be a little skewed, but I’ll tell you what is true, and that’s the greatness of this brotherhood.  So many memories have been made, however questionable they may be.  I’ve been inspired and challenged and made a little better each day.  Looking forward to 5 more.  As for this revised history, Upchuck put me up to it. 

    ANNOUNCEMENTS

    Breaking Bread – last Saturday and Sunday of the month – need volunteers

    Beer Mile Saturday 8pm Carillon

    CSAUP – October 23rd

    Shoe Drive – All month long