Author: Snuff

  • The promised land

    Darkest just before dawn. My memory, that is. 5:30am and everyone is looking at YHC. “My q? Are you sure?” Spontaneity, be my muse. Lord show us the way.

    The slow mosey is the way. Warmups with 23 SSHs, 10 DQs, stretching and mirkins, 18 LBCs and arm circles. Expect the unexpected.

    On the 3rd lap of a very vanilla triple check around the loop, with jump squats and WW2s, YHC said “let’s do something we haven’t done before.” DTH rattled off some options including the baseball field – no ones been there in a year.

    A slow mosey around the corner and lo and behold, the abandoned baseball field was unexpectedly bathed in the glow of hot lights. A beacon in the dark. If you light it, they will come. At a slow mosey.

    Ballpark triple check with home dugout dips, donkey kicks, and an in-the-park home run.

    Feeling bold, we pressed on, pressed our luck, and did some things that may or may not have run the risk of pressed charges. What happened next is completely hypothetical.

    If, hypothetically, the gate to the football field was magically wide open. And if, hypothetically, some men who had never been on the field decided to feel the soft turf under their feet. Hypothetically, would they have run the track before walking on to the field? Would they have done bear crawls 10 yards, 5 burpees, more bear crawls, more burpees, crab walks, hand release mirkins, lunges, etc etc all the way to the 50 yard line? And if that were to have happened, would they, running short on time, perform a 100-yd kickoff return at full sprint before exiting the field to the great and silent fanfare of sunrise? If it sounds implausible, it’s because it is. At least, that’s what Doublemint would counsel us to say.

    A slow mosey back to the flag. Sometimes the best plan is no plan. And sometimes, just sometimes, touchdown.

    Prayers for the family of Dr Tryhard. Prayers for others. For the fitness, fellowship and faith bestowed on this group. And for Dealer’s daughter on the road to potty training. May she find relief, but not in a diaper. Peace.

  • Wind Tunnel

    10 intrepid adventurers set out across the frozen Tuckahoe tundra to attempt their best impression of Shackleton’s ill-fated voyage. Two simple goals: stay dry and don’t fall down.

    40 SSHs, 20 Don Quixotes, 20 Imperial Squat Walkers, 10 Helicopters, arm circles in both directions and some other warmup stuff lost to brain freeze.

    Careful mosey to the covered walkway where our ship was frozen in ice and locked for the duration. While dry, the walkway formed a natural wind tunnel but luckily these men are extremely aerodynamic and almost never complain. Some merkins followed by a centipede railing crawl counter-clockwise up down and around covered walkway.

    Dora to the mountains of madness: run the perimeter of the covered walkway while partner does 100 WW2s, 200 merkins, 300 flutter kicks.

    There was some concern that the centipede railing crawl wasn’t balanced so we ran it back clockwise.

    10 burpees OYO.

    A second dora with a perimeter run while partner does 100 Lalannes – a wall sit with toe touches (thank you Pigskin for the reference – I am now down the rabbit hole of old Jack LaLanne videos on YT), 200 jump squats and 300 wall-sit arm raises.

    10 more burpees OYO.

    Since we had 3 minutes someone suggested Mary so we did 3 minutes of Lieutenant Dans.

    Careful mosey back to the flag for the COT.

    A prayer of gratitude for being able to come out into the cold and put in the work. Peace.

  • Forge-y Ounces to Freedom

    Four at the Forge for a forty-five minute terra forma fornication.

    Warming up with 20 Don Quixotes, 20 Imperial Walkers, 20 Apple Bottom Poppers (ask Chap), Mirkins, LBCs and a few other things.

    Mosey to the amphitheater. Centipede curb crawl across the bottom step, then up 2 steps and back across and on and on until we curb crawled all the way to the top.

    Inverse bro code Dora: run the steps loop down and around with 100 WW2s, 200 Donkey Kicks, 300 Flutter Kicks.

    With such good mumble chatter we ran it back with another Dora: box jump up the steps, then back down while partner does 100 wall-sit Muhammad Alis, 200 Mountain climbers, 300 LBCs.

    Back to the flag for 20 burpees OYO. Done.

    Gratitude for the clear and crisp morning, and prayers for healing for all those out sick. A special prayer for confidence in the face of fear. Fear is again on the rise, but men of F3 are strong, confident and they lead by example both in their families and in their communities. Live that example every day.

  • Myrrhkins

    4 dutiful husbands sought a brief respite from the capitalistic shopping orgy to find quiet, peace and meaning in the cold, cold gloom.

    Mosey to the lower cul de sac for warmups – SSHs, Don Quixotes, helicopters, imperial squat walkers, etc.

    Lightpole 11s to the lower lot: mirkins and jump squats.

    Lower lot 4-corners: 10 burpees, 20 WW2s, 30 mirkins, 40 2-ct mountain climbers.

    Up against the wall for the Pigskin special: 3 rounds of alternating donkey kicks, people’s chair and balls to the wall.

    Mosey to the amphitheater for a Dora: box jumps up and run around, with 100 WW2s (?), 200 squats and 300 2-ct flutterkicks.

    Mosey back to the flag. Solid workout with no breaks, just movement.

    We ended with a prayer to experience the peace of the season. Buried under all the madness of shopping and running around and obligations and and and…. there is a deep and sacred celebration to hold in our hearts. In that quiet moment before sunrise, we remembered.

  • The Wrong Question

    6 men, all hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings, arrived on a cold morning in November to learn the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything from the supercomputer called ‘The Forge,’ specially built for this purpose. The answer? 42.

    42 side straddle hops, then Don Quixotes on your own as YHC recounted one of his favorite stories from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

    A modified birthday beast was concocted: 6 times 7 reps up and down Mt Chaplain. 6 times 7 mirkins, jump squats, WW2s, lunges (with an intermission of 42 jerkins on the lower rail), box cutters, and burpees.

    Slow mosey to the upper school loop for a triple check: running, dips and calf raises.

    Mosey back to the flag for 42 heels to heaven. Then a minute of slow breaths.

    Prayer requests for healing for all those on IR, for my close friend dealing with a difficult illness, and especially for Fresh Prince who we all know will be a great father.

    Thank you for another year around the sun and I offer a deep gratitude for this group who always shows up and always pushes me to be a better human being. Peace.

  • High and dry

    11 gathered in the cool fall morning and Oyster reminisced about my last Q: “You made us do WW2s on the concrete instead of the grass.” Little did he know, towards the top of my list of reasons to Q is ‘stay high and dry.’

    50 SSH to warm up. Mosey to the backlot. Don Quixotes, helicopters, imperial squat walkers, stretching, mirkins and some other stuff I forgot while trying to come up with a spontaneous plan.

    First on the docket: 11s including WW2s on the concrete plus Caroline dry docks.

    Next up, indigenous curb crawl around the island – everyone crawls and one by one each person ran around.

    Lunge to the far side of the lot. Run back across, karaoke back again. Mosey towards the flag with a small payment to the durkin + dip troll who lives under the bridge.

    Line up on the basketball court for some jumping herpes all the way across. That’s a hand-release mirkin into broad jump burpee (invented by Chaplain… for some reason).

    Then a nice 4 corners lady of the night with 10 mirkins, 20 jump squats, 30 heels to heaven and 40 mountain climbers. On that first heels to heaven YHC observed with incredulity just how far away those stars really are. DK asked ‘where’s the weed’ and at that very moment with everyone looking up and laughing a meteor streaked across the dawn sky. High… and dry. Unlike Shatner’s Depends when faced with the blackness of space beyond this lush oasis.

    A few minutes left for some mankillers, which YHC forgot how to do. Luckily Doozy was there to pick up the pieces with Gumbo keeping him honest.

    Mosey back to the flag with an 1 min 30 elbow plank to finish it off.

    A special prayer of gratitude for our purpose, whether we believe it or not, as hidden in the God-given infinite complexity of this world we call home – as Carl Sagan said: “For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.’

    Fitness, fellowship and faith. Love it.

  • 3 to the Third

    DTH and YHC clown-carred all the way up north on the summer tour and in true clown fashion didn’t bring kettle bells. That’s what I get for Q’ing a place I’ve never been without reading old backblasts. The Manndate veterans thankfully kept their mockery to the F3 baseline (savage but in good faith) and the workout began.

    Warmups: SSHs, DQs, helicopters, dead man hang stretches, merkins, plank stretches and some other stuff.

    To work around the missing bells, a triple check: run the loop, kettle bell swings and kettle bell squat thrusters.

    A second triple check: run the loop with a kettle bell, kettle bell WW2s, and jump squats.

    To many eye rolls, a third and final triple check: wall sits with a kettle bell, kettle bell lunges, and bear crawl to the tree and back.

    Some light stretching and then we circled up. Special thank you and shoutout to The Carpenter who took us out with a deep and graceful prayer. We wish him all the best on his new adventure in Jersey. Luckily his new next door neighbors went to Virginia Tech so he can keep the rivalry forefront in his mind.

    Finally – I remember how hard it was when I started F3 because there was some fear about looking like an out of shape idiot. I also remember how welcoming everyone was during those first few humbling beatdowns. This morning was much the same – like an idiot I didn’t see the kettlebell part on the Schedules page. But everyone was kind and instead I was humbled by the kettebells themselves. Yardsale feel free to drop that 35-pounder in the river. Everyone else – if you haven’t done one of these I highly recommend it, especially with the crew out there. Thanks for having the Southsiders out.

  • Simple Is

    The clock struck 5:30 when YHC was informed that much to his surprise, he had the Q. Commence improvisational beatdown.

    Mosey to the flagpoles for 45 minutes of side straddle hops. Done and done. Actually just 30 or so SSH. Don Quixotes, dead man hangs, cherry pickers, imperial squat walkers, LBCs and mirkins not necessarily in that order. Finish with a minute elbow plank.

    Triple check: flagpole smokers, Carolina dry docks and a long loop.

    Bear crawl 75 yards down the sidewalk and down the stairs.

    Lunges the length of the long rail.

    11s at each light to the cul de sac: mirkins and WW2s.

    Back up to the lower lot with 4 burpees at each light for a total of 44.

    Skygazing with a 6-inch hold for a minute.

    From the lower lot, sprint to the tip top of Mt Chaplain followed by some stretches.

    Back to the flag for 10 hand-release mirkins and done.

    Prayers as the sun was coming up, and special prayers for India.

    I’ve been a board member of the Aruna Partnership for the last 5 years, but have been traveling to Tamil Nadu in India to work for the last 15. It’s been a big part of my life and this year our friends are really suffering.

    Over time, so much progress has been made from the programs we support there – sponsored kids have grown up and gone to college and are now coming back to teach. Widows have gone on to start businesses to support their families. And through job training, first generation college graduates have come back to recruit for their companies because they know that kids coming out of our program are top-notch. But in spite of all this progress, the new lockdown has threatened to set everyone back – unable to work, now it’s just about survival. If you’re able, please send a small donation.

    https://www.arunapartnership.org/pandemic_relief.htm

    The non-profit is volunteer-run so 100% of donations go directly to supporting the programs in India. Hit me up if you have questions – thank you and Godspeed.

  • Pulmonauts

    Moon-lit and bound for the stars, 12 souls strapped themselves to the NoToll rocket and prepared for launch in the spring gloom.

    T-minus 40 side straddle hops, 10 Don Quixotes, dead man hangs, imperial squat walkers, etc.

    Launch – parking lot 4 corners with 20 WW2s, 40 Rosalitas, 60 LBCs and 80 APDs.

    Low earth orbit around the field to the pavilion for a triple check: run + 3 burpees, jump squats and merkins.

    Orbiting to the middle of the field to admire the massive full moon and ponder our place in the universe. Breathe in, breathe out.

    Slingshot orbit around the field to the bleachers for another triple check: run + 5 burpees, box jumps and heels to heaven. Pausing yet again to consider the paradox of how the breath is voluntary, yet involuntary.

    Bound for Mars, finishing strong with 2 burnouts: parking space lunges with increasing 2-count ball dippers all the way to 10. Then, parking space bear crawl with increasing hand-release merkins all the way to 10.

    Settling down to the surface of Mars with a mosey back to the flag. Prayers for Boberry’s father, prayers for Snuff’s stepfather-in-law.

    Our journey at an end – Elon would be proud.

  • Blame it on the rain

    3 puddle jumpers ignored the hysterical weather forecast to find a perfect morning. 66 degrees, periodic drizzle, and a slight crosswind of tsk tsk for those who were not able to join us. To be fair, water from the sky can be terrifying.

    Warmups: side straddle hops, Don Quixotes, cherry pickers, imperial copperhead squats, copperhead merkins, etc etc.

    Triple check: tooth fairies up the stairs, jerkins on the bar and some wet concrete flutter kicks.

    Fire on the mountain: climbing Mt. Chaplain with lunges across the flat parts.

    Triple check: run the loop, flagpole smokers, elbow plank hold.

    11s on the lightposts: Merkins and jungle boi squats.

    Circle up for some special stretching to find muscles not currently known to the scientific community.

    Prayers for the the strength, the patience and the wisdom to navigate the decisions we make each day – and gratitude for all the brothers, both wet and dry, who hold us accountable.