Tag: Bon Iron

AO: Bon Iron

Date: Saturday, June 27, 2026

QIC: Machismo

The PAX: Machismo, Ranger, Trojan, Tinman

The Pre-Blast Departure (The Spilled Carafe)

At $5:45$ AM, Machismo bolted awake in a panic, convinced he had completely overslept. Meanwhile, your Q was groggily channeling the spirit of Heisenberg, pulling on a pair of blinding, fluorescent orange shorts to honor Heisenberg’s legendary highlighter-yellow shirt from the Forge.

In the rush to hit the AO, a fresh airpotof coffee was loaded into the truck. “Secured” is a strong word; “poorly balanced” is more accurate. One quick acceleration later, a healthy portion of the morning caffeine supply was baptized into the back seat of the truck. No time to cry over spilled coffee—the clock was ticking.

Warmarama

A quick mosey over to the Riverside School Fields, which were freshly cut and waiting for our arrival. We circled up at the bottom of the field for:

• Don Quixotes
• Cherry Pickers
• Arm Circles forward and backwards
• Ukrainian Soldiers
• WWIIs
• Carolina Dry Docks

The Thang

1. The Hillo Dora

We made our way to the hill next to the playground, partnered up, and attacked a classic Hill of a Dora (YHC misspoke and called it a kilo Dora next time we’ll add 400 to get a good burn).

• The Route: Partner 1 works on cumulative exercises at the top of the hill. Partner 2 runs to the bottom of the hill and Bernie Sanders (backpedals) to the top. Switch and repeat until the team hits the target reps:
  • 100 Carolina Dry Docks
  • 200 LBCs
  • 300 Squats

600 reps later we were on to thang 2. 

2. The Wall Dora

Next, we headed behind the large brick school building to find some wall space for a modified Wall Dora:

• Same partner running/swapping format:
  • 100 Donkey Kicks
  • 200 Ho Downs
  • 300 Muhammad Alis

3. Carolina Dry Dock Suicides

We transitioned to the back side of the school for a suicide drill designed to exhaust whatever shoulder strength remained.

• Sprint to Line 1 $\rightarrow$ 5 Carolina Dry Docks $\rightarrow$ Sprint back to the baseline.
• Sprint to Line 2 $\rightarrow$ 10 Carolina Dry Docks $\rightarrow$ Sprint back to the baseline.
• Sprint to Line 3 $\rightarrow$ 15 Carolina Dry Docks $\rightarrow$ Sprint back to the baseline.
• Sprint to Line 4 $\rightarrow$ 20 Carolina Dry Docks $\rightarrow$ Sprint back to the baseline.

4. Mary (The Birthday Countdown)

We returned to the flag for some abdominal work to close out the session. To celebrate Ranger’s Birthday, Ranger introduced a special, slow-count resistance leg lift sequence:

• The Cadence: Raise legs up slow, slow count to the bottom.
• Q Count: $1, 2, 3$
• PAX Response: $1$ (and raise back to the top).
• We completed exactly 39 reps to honor Ranger’s milestone!  

Ranger that was a great cadence! 

Naked Mole Skin & Coffeeteria

Hill dora is no joke that really got the legs burning.  A few of us are going to have to get bigger jeans to accommodate our massive thighs. Ranger’s resistance leg lifts were awesome.   Trojan did his thing (everyone should have one) we prayed then he swiftly went behind the 96” mower in the field to reverse chug what seemed to be a whole bottle of merlot (that was great shout out to the Q).  Great Work today.

The Coffeeteria today was elite—we perfectly executed an equal ratio of workout time to coffee-drinking time.

The conversation spanned some incredible, intellectual, and unexpected horizons:

• Book Recommendation: Undaunted Courage by Stephen Ambrose, covering Lewis and Clark’s epic adventure and Thomas Jefferson’s vision/sponsorship.
• The 250th: Trojan shared that he is celebrating America’s upcoming 250th birthday on Friday with his community group. 
• The Pivot: Machismo suggested Trojan write an official speech for the occasion. Naturally, this led to a deep, sprawling, and incredibly long discussion about death. Truly an uplifting and philosophical way to celebrate Ranger’s birthday!

Prayers & Praises

• Hooker’s Daughter: Prayers of support following her autism diagnosis. We celebrated her incredible superpower—she reads exceptionally well! Prayers that she continues to thrive and unlock her unique gifts.
• Machine Head: Prayers of expectation and health for his soon-to-be-born son, who could make his arrival any day now!

The Warmarama

We kicked things off precisely on time with a quick, eye-opening jog over to the baseball diamonds to get the blood pumping. Once there, Machismo led the PAX through:

• Don Quixote’s / Ukrainian Soldiers
• Imperial Squatwalkers
• Merkins
• Freddie Mercurys

The Thang

Part 1: The Catch-Me-If-You-Can Nine of Diamonds

We launched into a… unique rendition of Nine of Diamonds, blending it with Catch-Me-If-You-Can style around the bases. We alternated movements between the bags and paused to hammer out 9 Pickle Pounders at every single base. Look, was it weird? Yes. Would the Q do it exactly the same way next time? The jury is still out. But did it work? Absolutely. An unprecedented volume of pickles were pounded.

Part 2: Four Corners (Prostitute Style)

Shifting over to the adjacent ball field, we hit a four corners rotation, dubbed “Prostitute Style.” The PAX hit each corner for a heavy dose of:

• 20 Squats
• 20 Merkins
• 20 Pickle Pounders (because you can never pound too many pickles)
• 20 Side Straddle Hops

Part 3: The Bus Lot Escalator

Next, we migrated to the vacant bus parking lot for a grueling Pickle Pounder Escalator. Spread across 14 total lines, the rep count ascended with every line. We started with 1 at the first line and worked our way up to 13, bear crawling the entire distance between the lines to keep the shoulders thoroughly smoking.

Part 4: Bank Seize 11s at Stony Point Church

We wrapped up the main event at Stony Point Church with a round of 11s on the bank. The plan was Inclined Merkins and Incline World War II sit-ups. However, gravity had other ideas. Once the PAX realized their silos were actively sliding down the grassy bank, we audibled on the fly to Decline World War IIs to keep from sliding completely out of bounds.

Mary

We wrapped up the morning with a solid 5 minutes of Mary to ensure the cores were thoroughly cooked before calling it a day.

Coffeeteria & COT

The coffee was spectacular, and the conversation was even better. The PAX traded culture recommendations, covering a wide spread of media:

• Movies: Inglourious Basterds, The Patriot, Rocky
• Books: The Bomber Mafia, Revenge of the Tipping Point, and Ben Sasse’s The Vanishing American Adult

Mumble Chatter of the Day: Ranger proudly flexed his newly found six-shooter action, offering to hold someone up for a premium caffeine fix and bring it to our next cafeteria following the beatdown. Watch your backs, men.

An excellent push by everyone today. Way to lead the men, Machismo!

The COP (Warm-up)

​Mosey over to Riverside School to prime the engines.

• ​Side Straddle Hops (SSH) – IC
• ​Don Quixotes – IC
• ​Cherry Pickers – IC
• ​World’s Greatest Stretch – OYO
• ​The Opus – IC

​The Thang: Part 1 (The Rim-Wrecker & Leg Destroyer)

• ​Basketball Court 11s: Started on one baseline with 10 Wide-Grip Merkins, sprinted to the opposite baseline for 1 Diamond Merkin. Scaled all the way down to 1 Wide / 10 Diamonds.
• ​Playground Leg Destroyer: Hit the playground equipment for 4 rounds of pure leg smoke:
  • ​5 Bulgarian Split Squats (BSS) on each leg.
  • ​Lunge Walk across the playground.
  • ​5 BSS on each leg at the opposite side.

​The Thang: Part 2 (The Hill Quad-Check)

​With a solid crew of 4, we audibled into a brutal Quad-Check on the hill.

• ​Station 1 (The Timer): Run down the hill, sprint across the field, touch the tree, sprint back across the field, and grind back up the hill.
• ​Station 2: Little Baby Crunches (LBCs) until relieved.
• ​Station 3: Alabama Prom Dates until relieved.
• ​Station 4: Leg Lowers until relieved. (Rotated until all PAX completed the tree run 3 times).

​The Burnout & Finisher

• ​Handrail Burnout: Sprinted over to the elementary school handrails for a high-intensity burnout set of Jerkins to empty whatever was left in the chest and triceps.
• ​Mosey back to the flag for the COT.

## Backblast: F3 Bon Air**Date:** Yesterday**AO:** Bon Air**QIC:** Machismo**The Pax:** Heisenberg, L Woods, MachismoThe skies were misting, but that didn’t stop three high-impact men from showing up and getting better. Here is how it went down:### The Warm-Up & TourWe kicked things off right on time with a scenic tour of Bon Air, waking up the neighborhood and getting the blood flowing as we headed toward the Bon Air Baptist Church.### Thang 1: The Light Pole RectangleUpon arriving at the church, we laid out a modified rectangle using the parking lot light poles.The format had us running pole-to-pole. At each pole, the group started the exercises together. The first Pax to finish 25 reps called out the next exercise, and then we moved to the next light pole.### Thang 2: The Log Triple-CheckWe perused the church grounds and hit the jackpot in the corner: a couple of heavy logs. Time for a Triple-Check.* **Station 1 (The Timer):** Two-man team rolling the log to the mulch pile and back.* **Station 2 (The Grunt Work):** World War II sit-ups AMRAP until the log returned.The log rolling triggered some deep nostalgia for L Woods, who treated the Pax to a rendition of the classic Ren & Stimpy song “Log, Log, Log”.### Thang 3: Mini-Beast at Joe’s InnWe moseyed over to the Joe’s Inn shopping center parking lot to face a Mini-Beast utilizing three light poles down the center aisle. While I took a moment to admire the majestic architecture of the Bon Air Community Water Tower, the rest of the Pax kept pushing.Exercises were performed in 6 reps per pole across the three stations:* **World War II Sit-ups*** **Side Shuffles*** **Squats*** **Merkins*** **Carolina Dry Docks*** **Shoulder Taps**### CoffeeteriaWe made it back to the flag just as the rain started to mist a little heavier. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of cold rain on hot skin while enjoying a steaming cup of coffee with a band of brothers.Aye! Glad to lead you men.

Four unusual things happened this workout.

1. Pallino joined us up from the Carolinas for a wedding.
2. This Q requested a flag the night before and Trogan delivered a gorgeous example of why this Q should have his own flag in the future. Trogans garden flag was covered in enough sunshine, tassels, flowers, and colors to fill the gloom with the booming laughter of 10 HIMS.
3. We found a Bon Air biker gang sleeping under the riverside playground and woke them with a manly set of arm cirlces, Don Qioxtes, Cherry Pickers, worlds greatest stretch, ect.
4. We practiced some emergency procedures covering everything from what to do with an unconsious him to a 3-man carry across the field

Warmarama:

Mosey to riverside to wake up the biker gang as explained above.

The Thang:

1. 10 Bulgarian Split quats on each low brick bench with lunges to connect them (80 in total)
   • This burned out those beautiful butts
2. Incline/Decline Merkin circle around the Gaga-Pit
   • 10 incline or decline Merkins on each of the Gaga-pit sections rotating counter clockwise
   • This really impressed the biker gang, but not the PAX, it was too hard for anyone and YHC learned to bring it down a notch next time
3. Emergency proticals and carries across the field.
   • “What would happen if one of us dropped unconcious in the field here?”
   • “Call 911,” responded the PAX
   • “Does anyone have a phone?”
   • The pax was silent except for DTH who commented we could beg one off the Bon Air Biker gang above us
   • “Should we try to move them?”
   • “No!” correctly answered the PAX
   • While that is correct, that is exactly what we are going to practice
   • The pax proceeded to ferry HIMS back and forth across the field using 2 man and 3 man carries.
4. Mosey to the Elementary school playground for our final burnout: 25 Jerkins in cadence
5. Mosey back to the Garden flag for 5 minutes of Marry

COT

Don’t forget we will go to Dogpile on the 13th to send off Flatline and that same day we will send off NTB at DTH’s.

This Thursday is DTH’s 500th Q.

5 practicing theologians knocked on the doors of the church at Gutenberg with several of their own theses. 2 -3 minutes at each of 12 doors to burnout. It was a bit much but it burned up the time.

Good coffee and fellowship afterwards. discussion of nitrile as and chemistry started the morning while reviews of the movie whiplash followed.

Prayers for the unborn. Cheezmo is out next week. Prayers for DTH in Nicaragua. Satisfying Big Data…. out.